


Some Assembly Required

by babbleface



Category: Naruto
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Explicit Language, F/M, Family Drama, Implied Sexual Content, Multi, Slice of Life, daily life, friendship drama, late twenties, multi-chapter, romantic relationship drama
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-20
Updated: 2015-04-20
Packaged: 2018-03-24 22:09:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 25
Words: 63,462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3786061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/babbleface/pseuds/babbleface
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When friends suck, complete strangers are always the people to turn to. Unless they might be axe murderers. In which case it's best not to move in with them. Unless you're desperate. Which she is.</p><p>Originally posted on fanfiction.net on Aug. 22, 2011. I'm finally putting this on AO3, three years after finishing it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Breaking of the Girlfriends Code of Girls

Sakura sighed as she scoured the apartment she shared with her two friends. Karin didn’t technically live there but she might as well move in. She didn’t know why, but she put up with the two of them. It wasn’t easy either. Seriously, if there was a medal for this sort of thing she would win, hands down.

They made an agreement when they moved in together that they wouldn’t share their personal personal lives unless it was totally necessary, but Sakura still knew too much about that.

She continued cleaning the living room, picking up clothes covered in glitter and alcohol leftover from one of Ino and Karin’s night club adventures. She paused when she thought she heard the familiar giggling in the hall and cringed when the door busted open and bounced off the wall.

“WE’RE HOME!” Ino and Karin sang. It was like living with two very happy transvestites sometimes.

“Oh yay.” Sakura feigned happiness. She sighed, dumped the club clothes on the floor again and flung herself down on the couch.

“Ino, I know you and Karin like to experiment, but I am irrevocably straight, so could you please get your vag out of my face?” Sakura said. Ino crouched down to her level and looked at her with serious eyes.

“There’s something I need to talk to you about.” She said. Sakura frowned.

“Okay, sure. What’s up?”

“I need you to move out.” Ino said.

“What?” Karin and Sakura said together.

“Not you, K. you don’t even live here.”

“So just me then.” Sakura said acidly.

“Yeah. The thing is, I want to move in with my boyfriend and this place is so much nicer that his.” Ino said. Sakura could tell she was trying to be nice but she just felt like she had been played.

“You are trading in me, one of your best friends, for some mangy guy?” she hissed.

“Doesn’t that kind of violate the Girlfriend Code of Girls?” Karin asked.

“I cannot believe you are kicking me out for some guy!” Sakura said. “I can’t believe it!”

Sakura got up of the couch and, giving Ino one last glare, she slammed into her room. Which wasn’t going to be her room anymore. She looked around at the small haven she had built against Ino and Karin’s Adventures. Then she sighed. It all seemed so empty now.

“Ino, you just kicked her out. Let her have a minute to herself.” Karin said outside her door. “Let’s go out and see if we can find her a new place, okay?”

Sakura waiting until she heard the front door slam again before she opened her room door. Now she was going to have to spend the rest of the evening avoiding Ino. Not that Ino’d be home.

 

“Sak?” Karin knocked on her door. “I dropped Ino at her boyfriend’s place for then night.” She opened the door. “Can I come in?”

“Yeah, I guess. You didn’t kick me out.”

“I’m really sorry sweetie. Ino handled it badly. But look! I found this ad on the bulletin board of the common room downstairs. I went to look at the building and it looks really nice.” She handed Sakura a flyer. Sakura examined the plain faced type.

FOR RENT:

One small bedroom. Rent is $500/month split three ways. Apartment includes bathroom, kitchen, and living room. It is preferable that applicants are tolerant of idiots, moderate noise and should not be adverse to late comings and goings. It is preferred that applicants be under the age of 40.  
Furniture not included.

Please call: 354-1569 or come to 9920 Blackwood Ave. to see apartment 4b.

“Um, okay. Thanks Karin.” Sakura said, placing the flyer on her bedside table that was really just a bunch of books stacked on top of each other.

“No problem. You should go see it tomorrow because Blackwood is a pretty nice area. Nicer that this area anyway.”

“Yeah, I guess. But $500 is a lot for rent on an apartment.”

“Not if your splitting it three ways. Minus expenses it’s only about $200 a month. And that’s what you pay right now anyway.” Karin got up. “I’ll keep Ino busy as long as you want to be mad at her. And check that apartment out. It’s in a great area.”

“Okay, thanks.” Sakura said. She waited until Karin closed the door before picking up the flyer again.

_Please call: 354-1569 or come to 9920 Blackwood Ave. to see apartment 4b._

“Hmm,” she tapped her chin and stared at the flyer. Making a snap decision she picked up her cell phone and dialled the number. It rang three times before it picked up.

“ _Yo!_ ” the other line yelled. She winced.

“Hi, my name is Sakura. I was calling to see if that room you were renting out is still available.”

“ _Oh, for sure! Are you interested?_ ”

“Well I am kind of homeless.” Sakura said, “So yes, I’m very interested.”

“ _Great! We’d love to have a new roomie! So when can you move in?_ ”

“Uh,” Sakura was rather taken aback. This was sudden. “Could I take a look before I decide?”

“ _Oh, of course. Yeah, how about tomorrow?_ ” the man on the other end agreed immediately.

“Tomorrow is fine. Perfect, actually.”

“ _Great, come by anytime._ ” He said. “ _Oh, gotta go. I’ve got work. I’ll see you tomorrow._ ”

“Okay, see you. Thanks.” Sakura hung up and looked at the flyer. “Well, at least I’ve got a prospective place.”

 

Sakura hitched her purse up her shoulder and raised her fist. She knocked twice and stepped back, wringing her hands slightly. The door opened and there was an awkward moment when the guy who answered the door and she just stood there and stared at each other.

Whoa. He was pretty. Really pretty. Better than pretty. He was gorgeous.

“Hi,” she said. “I called yesterday about the room.”

He suddenly glared at her. She stepped back involuntarily. Okay, that was scary. What the hell? There was a scuffling sound and a blonde, blue eyed head popped up.

“Hey there!” he said cheerfully, shoving the first guy aside. “I’m Naruto and this is Sasuke.” He stuck his hand out. Sakura shook it. This was definitely the one she talked to on the phone.

“Hi. Sakura.” She shook his hand.

“Come on in.” he said, pulling her inside. “Ignore him. He’s just grumpy because I made him put the ad out. But seriously, we never used the spare room anyway so I figured, why not?”

Sakura nodded. He was just a big ball of energy. It was a bit tiring. She followed him into the apartment and looked around the living room. It was a plain room with a three seater couch, an arm chair and across the room and enormous TV and sound and gaming system.

Well, they are guys.

“That’s the kitchen through there.” Naruto said, “It’s pretty average. A stove, a fridge, a table, that sort of thing. We don’t use it much.”

Sakura could tell. There was a stack of take-out menus on the small table shoved into the corner. It looked a bit dingy, another hint that the kitchen wasn’t used at all.

“Over here is the bathroom,” Naruto led her down a narrow hall to the back half of the apartment. The bathroom was nothing special, although cleaner than the kitchen. She scanned it and then he threw open a door just down from the bathroom. “And this would be your room here, if you wanted it.”

Sakura stepped inside. It was a room about the same size of her room with Ino. The only difference was that the walls were decorated with a strange pattern. She squinted at it to try and see it better. It looked like tiny, birds made of smoke taking flight.

“Yeah, the guys here before us were artsy. They carved that into the drywall and then painted over it. It’s pretty cool though.” Naruto leaned on the door frame. Sasuke, still glaring, stood behind him, his hands wedged in his pockets.

“It’s nice. I like it.” Sakura said. She avoided looking at Sasuke because his glare was really scary. “So you said the rent was split three ways?”

“Uh,” Naruto looked at Sasuke who nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, it is.”

“So are you both okay with me living here? I mean, I can find another place if you wanted to room with someone more…male.”

“NO!” Naruto said. “No, we would love to have you here, right Sasuke?” he asked, glaring at his roommate.

“Hn.” Sasuke grunted. Sakura raised her eyebrows. Did this guy speak at all?

“Teme! You had better get used to having Sakura around because if she wants to stay she’s going to.” Naruto growled.

“Whatever, Dobe.” Sasuke smirked. And it took Naruto three seconds to pounce on him and tackle him to the floor. Sakura flattened herself up against the wall and stayed there until it was over. Sasuke had Naruto in a headlock and Naruto was elbowing him in the gut.

“Impressive. I’ve never seen a more accurate imitation of two five year olds fighting over the blue shovel in the sandbox.” She said. Naruto struggled out of Sasuke’s grip.

“Your sarcasm does not amuse me.” He said. Sakura grinned. He frowned. “You still want the room, right? The Teme didn’t put you off?”

“I think that if you met two of my best friends then you’d believe that I can manage him no problem.” She shrugged. “At least I’m not homeless anymore.”

Naruto’s face broke into a wide grin. Sakura almost had to look away it was so bright. He was really pleased to have her there. Wow, he’s a happy guy. He dragged Sasuke to his feet, still grinning and elbowed him in the side.

“Sakura-chan is staying here now, so you have to be nice.” He whispered. Sakura bit her lip to keep from laughing. The pair of them, tall, blond and blue eyed and tall, dark and handsome, were quite enigmatic. Sasuke glared at her.

“So when can you move in?” he ground out, looking completely unhappy about the prospect of a new roommate.

“How does tomorrow sound?” she said.

“Tomorrow,” he ground out, glaring at Naruto, “Would be fine.” Although his glare said that it would be anything but.


	2. Why Roommates Suck

Sakura called her new roommates as soon as she woke up to see if they were in. She had booked the day off her shift at the hospital specifically for this move. Yesterday after she got back from the apartment Karin had helped her pack her life into twelve boxes and put them in a U-Haul. Then she slept on the couch because Karin said Ino was out again. Sakura was still ferociously angry with Ino and had refused to speak to her on the phone yesterday.

So now, here she was, about to move in with two guys who were around her own age and very, very attractive to say the least. She tapped her foot as the phone rang through to voicemail and was about to leave a message when someone picked it up.

“ _’Lo?_ ” a raspy voice on the other end asked.

“Hi, um, who is this?” she asked, thinking she had the wrong number. The guy on the other end cleared his throat.

“ _You called me. Who are you?_ ” he snapped. Never mind; this was the right number after all.

“Sasuke?” she asked. “Why do you sound like a smoker?” she could almost feel his glare through the phone.

“ _I was fucking sleeping._ ” He snarled. Someone wasn’t a morning person. Sakura looked at her watch. It was ten thirty AM on a weekday. How could he still be asleep?

“Oh, sorry, didn’t mean to wake you.” She said, not feeling sorry at all. “Anyway, I was just wondering when a good time would be to swing by with my stuff. Because you guys didn’t specify yesterday.” There was a long pause, in which she was sure Sasuke was trying to think of a way to kill his two roommates.

“ _Now is fine. You woke me up anyway, so I might as well do something._ ” He growled. Somehow everything he said to her managed to sound sinister and totally rude. She would have to see about fixing that…when she found his weaknesses.

“Okay, so I’ll be by in ten?” she asked and hung up before he had a chance to refuse.

 

Sasuke dropped the phone back in the cradle and fell face first onto the couch. He hoped Naruto died horribly and painfully for making him agree to get another roommate. And he hoped this bubbly, pink girl would die in a similarly painful way for invading his space and waking him up and the fucking crack of dawn. And lying on his sofa with soft worn fabric that smelled like cigarette smoke (from Shikamaru and Kiba) and beer (from everyone) he dozed off again.

And he was rudely re-awakened by the sound of knocking. He rolled off the couch and stumbled to the door, rubbing his eyes. Mentally damming the person who knocked he opened the door, freezing glare in place. And of course standing there was Sakura and Naruto, identical happy grins on their stupid fucking faces.

 

Sakura had run into Naruto, who was on his way back from a morning jog, as she entered the building. On the way up to the fourth floor, up the stairs, they chatted about the reason she was kicked out. Well it was more like she ranted about her shitty ass friend and he listened and made sympathetic noises but it made her feel better. When they reached the room Naruto realized that he forgot his key so they had to knock. And a very grumpy, very shirtless Sasuke greeted them.

After a moment’s pause Sakura chirped: “Hi!” and Sasuke just stared blankly at her. Well actually he was glaring but he looked a bit befuddled too.

“Teme, sup,” Naruto just pushed his was inside and pulled Sakura with him. “Be nice to Sakura- chan while I go get changed. And then we’ll help you move your stuff up and set up and everything.”

“Okay, take your time.” Sakura said. Although really she hoped he wouldn’t take too long because Sasuke scared her a little bit. He was so overly hostile it was bordering on sociopathic but all the same…he had a normal guy like Naruto for a roommate so…how bad could he really be?

Sasuke actually didn’t really come across as horrible at the moment, mostly because he had just banged his shin on the coffee table and was swearing like a sailor and hopping on the spot. Sakura ducked her head to keep him from seeing her grin. She didn’t think he’d like her laughing at his expense. But she had to admit (as he bumped into the couch before just flinging himself down on it again), sleepy, confused Sasuke was kind of cute.

“Okay!” Naruto was back. “Oi! Teme! Get up!”

Sasuke made no response.

“Get up!” Naruto said loudly, standing over him.

He still didn’t move.

“GET UP TEME!” he shouted in his ear.

Sasuke shot up, catching Naruto in the nose with the back of his head. Naruto reeled back with blood splattering down his front and Sasuke stumbled around grabbing the back of his head. And they were both swearing up a storm. Sakura’s doctor sense kicked in and she dove into the chaos. She grabbed Naruto by the arm to keep him from tripping over the extended retractable footrest of one of the arm chairs and she zig zagged the other way to catch Sasuke by the bicep before he tripped over an end table. The only thing she couldn't seem to prevent was the obnoxious swearing. They were using words far beyond the usual, words she had never even heard Karin and Tenten say.

“Sit down!” she shoved Sasuke onto the couch and pulled Naruto down onto an arm chair. “WOULD YOU BOTH RELAX!” she shouted at the top of her lungs. They looked at her, pitifully holding their injuries, as if to ask why. “I’m a doctor.” She said.

“Now,” the brisk manner she had in the hospital kicked in, “What’s the damage?”

“Bastard broke by dose.” Naruto said. He certainly sounded bad, but she wasn’t quite willing to believe that his nose was broken just yet.

“And you?” she asked Sasuke.

“Better the Dobe’s nose than mine,” he said, rubbing his head.

“If you two have the energy to be nasty to each other then you are definitely not seriously injured.” Sakura said.

“Whaa? No, Bakura-chan, blease!” Naruto looked at her forlornly. She sighed and motioned for him to move his hand. Carefully she used two fingers to gently prod and feel the bridge of his nose.

“Okay, well it’s not broken but you’ll have a nice shiner there for a while. Nothing I can do about that I’m afraid.” She said. “Now go wash up and keep a cold cloth on it until the bleeding stops. Then drink some water.” And Naruto rushed to do as she said.

“And what about you?” she asked Sasuke. He looked at her.

“I’m fine,” he said.

“Just let me check in case. I would hate to have to cart you into the hospital with an infection or something just because I was lazy.” She gently parted the hair where he hit Naruto and checked his scalp for any signs of badness. She didn’t find anything out of the ordinary but she did notice that his hair smelled really nice.

Once Naruto’s nose stopped bleeding Sakura handed him a cold compress and put a bandage over the bridge of his nose where the skin had broken.

“Once I get my stuff organized I’ll fix it up properly with my first aid kit, okay?” she patted his shoulder.

“Thanks,” he was able to talk normally now.

Sasuke came out of his room, fully clothed and glared at them both. His head still hurt and now this…this…girl was going to make him move her stuff into his apartment. He still couldn’t get over the fact that he’d let Naruto blackmail him into looking for a new roommate. He didn’t think they’d actually find one either. He’d managed to scare off the first few by making sure they didn’t come by until Naruto went to work, but apparently his so-called best friend caught on and planned this one secretly. Fucker.

Sakura was sitting on his couch, gently pressing a bandage onto Naruto’s nose, cooing like he was a new born baby or some shit. It was fucking disgusting. Sasuke snorted and walked into the room.

“Teme’s back.” Naruto said. He still sounded like a pathetic loser. He was doing his Puppy Dog face, where he made his eyes really wide and pouted and occasionally flashed the unfortunate victim a smile.

“Okay,” Sakura said. She looked a bit nervous around him. Good. “Maybe I should go get some of my stuff now. I’m not really comfortable with leaving it out there unattended, even if it is locked.”

“Okay,” Naruto pushed himself up. “Let’s go.”

“Maybe you should stay here and relax for a bit.” Sakura said.

“Fuck no. if I have to move shit then so does the Dobe,” Sasuke growled.

Sakura looked a little taken aback by his overly aggressive attitude. She started to say something but Naruto cut her off.

“It’s okay, Sakura-chan. I can help out,” Naruto assured her. He opened the door and bowed her out. “Ladies first.” Sakura giggled.

Sasuke rolled his eyes. This was disgusting.

 

Sakura was still a bit worried about Naruto. He was a little cross-eyed. But when she said so Sasuke growled rudely at her and Naruto. But she was forced to accept that Naruto was physically capable of helping move her in and he was much more pleasant to be around.

Sakura scrunched her forehead up. They had managed to move the boxes from the U-Haul to the elevator to the living room with minimal complications. Although somewhere along the way she did end up meeting two of their neighbours, both of whom were extremely eccentric. The first one she met, Gai, was decked out in an all green tuxedo with an orange tie and cumberband. The ensemble was pulled together with green oxfords with spats and a bowl cut. He was extremely loud and occasionally wore a top hat. Sakura was rather overwhelmed by his energy and his odd and creepy obsession with yoga gear and Naruto (both related subjects when it came to him). Thankfully he was two floors above and was going out when she and Sasuke ran into him on the elevator. They watched from the window in the hall as he accosted Naruto, who had a difficult time escaping.

The second person was a tall, prematurely grey haired man with an eye patch and a medical mask over his face. Sakura was particularly perplexed by him. Gai was clearly just a free spirit, whereas their next door neighbour, Kakashi, was completely unassuming and bizzare. She caught a glimpse of his apartment as he was opening his door to pick up a package. The entire back wall of his apartment was an enormous bookcase, which was filled (creepily enough) entirely with orange books. And because Sakura grew up with her aunt and was very close to her she also knew her boyfriends. And her current boyfriend had made everyone around him extremely familiar with those books, whether they wanted to know about them or not.

“Old pervert,” Sasuke muttered as they passed. It became apparent after she moved in that Kakashi was a little bit more that openly gay and had made quite a few passes at Sasuke. A fact Sakura found infinitely hilarious. She also found out that he was extremely helpful when it came to building things, something both her new roommates were hopeless at. With Kakashi’s help she and erected her bookcase, bed and desk in under two hours and started organizing her things just the way she liked them.

It was almost dinner time when she was finished (Kakashi had to step out halfway through and go to his weekly pre happy hour spa treatment), but when she was done she was determined to find food that was actually healthy. So she went to the kitchen and opened the fridge. And it was full of three things: orange juice (no pulp not fresh squeezed), tomatoes (actually good tomatoes) and booze. There was at least three quarters of the fridge devoted to booze. Sakura thought she would never meet the fridge that held more booze than Karin’s but clearly her best friend had just been shown up. She shut the fridge and went to the cupboards. Those were worse. They were full of instant ramen and…well…that was pretty much it. Sakura sighed. She couldn’t believe she was going to overhaul the fridge on her first night here. She went to the living room where they (her roomies) were engrossed in a zombie bashing video game.

“Hey guys?” she asked. All the got where grunts in reply. “I need to borrow some money.”

“What for?” they both asked, not taking their eyes off the screen.

“You’re not stocking any good booze.” She said. They both automatically pulled out their wallets and tossed them over in her general direction. All this time they never took their eyes off the game. How sad was it when two fully grown, twenty-something men gave their wallets to a girl they just moved in with and knew nothing about because they thought they needed more booze? Very, very sad.

Sakura took a twenty from each of their wallets and tucked them in her own. “I’ll be back later.” She called, shutting the door behind her.

 

Sasuke was vaguely aware of Sakura leaving and he was vaguely aware of her coming back. He couldn’t really remember why she went out in the first place, and he honestly didn’t give a fuck. But after Naruto (that fucking Dobe) had accidentally blown them both up for the third time he chucked his controller down and stretched. Then he got up and decided to order some food. They hadn’t had Hank’s in a while so he went to get the menu and see what kind of burger he wanted this time. He walked into the kitchen and over to the table and…

What the fuck.

The take out menus were gone!

No fucking way. Seriously, who was shitting with him?

“If you’re looking for the take out menus, don’t bother.” Sakura waltzed into the kitchen. Before what she said registered in his brain Sasuke had time to note that with her hair pulled back like that she looked pretty. Then the dark thundercloud above his head started to rain. He didn’t even speak, he just stalked out of the kitchen.

“Oh, hey! Can we order dinner now? I’m feeling like Hank’s tonight. They have great burgers.” Naruto said.

“She fucking threw them out.” He hissed.

“What? Who threw what out?” Naruto blinked.

“That-that girl! She just threw out all the take out menus!” he didn’t even care that much, he was just pissed that she had invaded his territory. He was also pissed that he had let her invade so easily. Normally he put up more of a fight. It was probably just because he was caught by surprise.

“She did?” Naruto yelped, “Why?”

“How the fuck do I know?” Sasuke snapped. He flung himself down on the couch and glared at the TV, paused at the game start menu. Naruto jumped up and ran to the kitchen.

“Sakura-chan!” he skidded to a halt. “What are you doing?” Sakura looked up. She had the sleeves of her sweater pushed back and an apron tied around her waist. She was cutting up some green and red peppers on a cutting board Naruto never knew they had.

“I’m making dinner.” She said. “Can you pull the chicken out of the fridge?”

Naruto went to the fridge and opened it. The booze and juice had disappeared. He stood in befuddlement and Sakura reached a slim arm past him and pulled out the chicken.

“Don’t worry, it’s all in a safe place.” She reassured him, shutting the fridge. “Go tell Sasuke he has nothing to worry about. His precious take out menus and booze are unharmed.”

“You know, Sakura-chan, we usually just order in food. It’s cheaper.” Naruto said.

“Also, we can’t really cook.” He said sheepishly, sliding into a chair at the tiny table. The kitchen looked cleaner as well. Sakura was sure busy while they were zoned out on video games.

“Well, aren’t you two lucky to have me then? While I’m here no one will have to order take out unless I am too tired to cook. And even then, I always cook way too much so there will probably be leftovers.” She grinned, pulling out a pair of latex gloves. Naruto raised an eyebrow.

“Planning on preforming open heart surgery on the chicken?” he asked.

“Nope, just keeping the germs off my hands.” She said. “Then I don’t have to worry about touching stuff without exfoliating a layer of skin first.” She seized the knife and started cutting the chicken into thin strips. “Now shoo, unless you’re going to help.” She waved him away.

Naruto left and sat on the floor.

“Don’t worry man, she said she just moved them. She’s cooking dinner.” He said.

“She’s cooking?” Sasuke asked.

“Yup,” Naruto couldn’t hide his anticipation. He loved stir fry.

“If I wanted to be cooked for I’d go visit my mom.” Sasuke said. He got up and grabbed his jacket. He stuffed his feet into his shoes. “I’ll be back later.” And he slammed the door on his way out.

“Who was that?” Sakura called.

“Sasuke went out.” Naruto went back into the kitchen. “He’ll be back later.”

Sakura frowned. “I can keep a plate in the oven for him but it’ll dry out. Maybe I should just not bother and he can get his own dinner out of the left overs when he’s back.” She mused.

“Don’t worry about it. He’s always had trouble adjusting to stuff. He’ll warm up after a while.” Naruto assured her. “Actually, I don’t think I ever seen him be this nice to someone he’s just met. He’s still an asshole to me and he barely speaks to his brother and we’ve both known him for years.”

“Really?” Sakura went about tossing the peppers in with the chicken and scooping the black bean sauce on top.

“Yeah, but I guess he’s always been pretty quiet.” Naruto shrugged.

“Well, if he’s not back soon he’s going to miss a hot, fresh dinner.” Sakura said.

“That’s his problem,” Naruto got up and pulled out plates and cutlery. “Let’s eat.”


	3. The Difference Between Girls and Boys

Sasuke was annoyed. He never seemed to get angry and The Invader (as he called her in his head), only annoyed. He had no idea why he’d let her in. If he hadn’t let her through that damn door then he wouldn’t be out of his own house walking the streets instead of eating a delicious burger and relaxing on his couch. He veered off at Sherwood Lane and pushed the call button on a greying apartment building.

“ _Whozzit?_ ” a sleepy voice asked.

“Let me up. It’s raining.” Sasuke said into the speaker.

“ _Oh, dude. What happened to game night at your place? I was just about to head over._ ”

“Just let me in, asshole.” Sasuke growled.

“ _All right, all right. Jesus._ ” The buzzer when off and Sasuke pushed the door open.

Suigetsu was waiting with the door open, his jacket and shoes on a lopsided grin on his face. “Ready to go?” he asked.

“No, we’re not going to my place tonight. Not ever.”

Suigetsu shrugged and pulled out his phone. “Yo, KIba, dudeman. Sasuke says game night at his place is off.” He paused to listen. “No, you moron, of course not. Yeah, I’ll see you. Call that asshole and let him know. Why do you have to do it? Because I don’t fucking want to.” He hung up on Kiba and watched Sasuke sit on the couch. He casually pulled his key out of his pocket and side stepped out the door, grasping the knob.

“Okay, well, you make yourself comfortable. See ya!” he said. He took a moment ot note Sasuke’s confusion then slammed the door and locked his friend in. then he sprinted down the hall to the staircase and jumped down the two flights of stairs. He could have managed the jump from the window, but the people on the first floor had complained to the super about him. Kiba’s dark blue car pulled up and Suigetsu hopped in.

“We’re picking up Neji on the way.” Kiba said, “Did you lock him up there?”

“Yup,” Suigetsu grinned. “Gun it, bro. He’s probably on the stairs by now.”

So Kiba, feraing death by Sasuke, slammed his foot on the gas. And in a glory of burning rubber they sped off to Neji’s, leaving Sasuke crashing through the front doors of the building just seconds too late.

 

The door was knocked upon just as Sakura and Naruto finished cleaning the kitchen up. They looked at eachother and then at their steaming plates of stir fry, delicious smells wafting towards them, making their stomachs rumble.

“You expecting anyone?” Naruto asked.

“No. you?”

“No, unless Sasuke lost his key.” Naruto sighed and went to the door. He opened it without pausing to look through the little peep hole. Something he would come to regret.

“Hey man,” Suigetsu pushed past him.

“Hey,” Kiba shoved by and made a beeline for the couch.

Neji enterd and nodded at him, then he sat in an arm chair and looked around. “Something is different here.” He said. It was actually a bit creepy the way this guy noticed stuff. And Naruto was pretty sure that Sakura had done nothing to alter the appearance of the living room thus far. “I assume that you know there is a woman in your apartment cooking dinner?”

“Whoa. Dude. Man. What the fuck.” Kiba shot up off the couch. They all turned to the doorway between the kitchen and the living room.

“Naruto, is Sasuke going to eat or not because if he is then I’ll leave this plate out for him.” Sakura was busy balancing a plate in one hand and trying to untie her apron with the other and didn’t notice her audience at first. “Oh…uh…hi?”

“That is a chick.” Suigetsu said. “That’s a chick in your kitchen, man.”

“Astute observation, as per usual.” Neji commented dryly. “Thank you for stating the obvious.”

“Uh, yeah.” Naruto started to explain but before he could get much further than:

“This is our new-” the door busted open and Sasuke strode in.

He completely ignored everyone except Suigetsu, grabbing him by the shirt and shoving him across the room. “You fishy little bastard. I am going to fucking kill you.” He snarled. And Suigetsu quailed.

“Oi, Teme! Hold on a minute!” Naruto jumped forward and tried to grab his friend but Sasuke shoved him off. He was really touchy this week for some reason. Sasuke punched Suigetsu in the face and the latter finally got too angry to be scared. He threw himself at Sasuke and they went crashing to the floor, somehow dragging Naruto, Kiba and Neji down with them.

Sakura stepped back gingerly and slid back into the kitchen. She looked around, picked up a fork and sat down at the table to eat. There was absolutely no sense in getting dragged into a pointless fight that would sort itself out eventually. And besides, she was hungry and Hinata’s recipe for stir fry was always sublime.

 

Eventually (once she’d finished dinner and gotten sick of holing up in the kitchen) Sakura made her way across the hall to Kakashi’s to ask him for some assistance. And once her new neighbour arrived the fight ended rather quickly. And, of course since Kakashi was a police officer and Sakura was a doctor, the scolding began.

“You could have been seriously injured! Do you know that I once spent three hours in surgery with a guy from a bar fight? I spent three hours putting his vertebrae back together so he could walk again!” Sakura shouted. She had lived with her aunt for so long that along with her medical brilliance and her ability to drink alcohol like it was water she also had quite an explosive temper. “Is that where you want to end up?”

Kakashi took a slightly different line of discipline. And he was much calmer.

“I don’t think I need to tell you boys that I could arrest you all for assault, and fine you each a thousand a piece for disrupting the peaceful atmosphere of this apartment building and disturbing our neighbours. And I’m sure the superintendent could find some damage done here that I could add to that bill.”

And all six of them were sitting on the couch, looking at their shoes, shamefaced and sullen.

“Stop sulking. It’s pathetic.” Sakura spat. “And make a line by the kitchen for dinner. You lot are lucky I’m feeding you at all.” She glared and marched across to the kitchen. She had kept the dinner warm on the stove.

“Would you like to have some dinner, Kakashi-san?” she asked.

“I would, but I’m due in for the night shift at the station so I’ve got to go.” He said.

“I trust you six won’t give her anymore trouble, right?” he asked the guys who were shuffling to the kitchen now.

“No sir.” They mumbled.

“Good.”

“Good night, Kakashi-san!” Sakura called as he shut the door behind him. “Now, Naruto, you’re first.” She said, scooping the stir fry onto a plate.

Sakura had gone to bed not long after the fight because she had to get up at four to go to work. She groaned, stretching her back and body before she climbed into bed. A whole day of standing on her feet, lifting and more lifting. She did not want to go to work tomorrow, not that she had a choice. She would need to take a vacation soon. She set her alarm and tugged her clothes off. She slid her pj’s over her head and fell on the bed, snuggling under the blankets. Then she closed her  
eyes and fell asleep.

_Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep._

Not for long.

Sakura groaned and rolled over. She rubbed her eyes and stared at her alarm clock. The noise it was making was offensive but in her dream hazy state it was almost like it was speaking to her.

_Get. Up. Get. Up. Get. Up._

She rolled onto her side and fished her slippers out from under the bed. This was going to be a long day. She pulled her fingers through her knotted hair and padded out into the hall. The bathroom was just down the hall so she had to squint through the light from the living room to find the door.

“Get him! Kill him you little fuck! Kill him!”

“No! No no no no no! Ahhhh fuck you Teme!” Naruto threw his controller down.

“Eat dirt, Dog breath!” Suigetsu crowed. Kiba swore viciously and threw his controller at Suigetsu head.

Sakura rubbed her eyes and wandered into the living room where her roommates and their friends were crowded around the TV, hammering at the buttons on video game controllers.

“What the hell are you guys doing? Do you have any idea what time it is?” she asked. Her voice was raspy from sleep and she still felt a bit groggy.

“Sakura-chan!” Naruto had clearly forgotten about her if he was so surprised.

“Sorry, did we wake you?”

“No,” Sakura shook her head. “I have to go to work. I just wanted to know why you were playing video games at four in the morning. Don’t you have jobs or something?” she asked.

“Yeah, but we’re so badass at our jobs that we don’t need to show up every day.” Suigetsu said. Sakura rolled her eyes.

“Well, when you feel your necks, back and shoulders cramp up and you start to get dizzy from dehydration, remember, I’m at the hospital.”

“I don’t think dehydration is a problem,” Kiba held up a bottle of half empty beer. Sakura snorted in a completely unladylike way and stepped into the bathroom.

She silently blessed the gods of hot showers as she worked the kinks out of her back and neck. After her shower she dried off and tip toed to her room wrapped in her towel. She was extra quiet because she didn’t want to get caught half naked in the hall. She tip toed to her room and rummaged through her boxes for her underwear and scrubs. She would have to put all her clothes away soon. She hated living out of boxes. Sakura fluttered around, grabbing her scarf and her backpack. She stuffed her sneakers inside and her wallet and phone. She clipped her pager on her waistband and swept up her coat and gloves. She hated winter, but it was almost over. Going from chilly February with late snows to breezy March with lots of rain she always packed gloves. She checked her phone.

Four missed calls.

She unlocked the phone and scrolled through them.

_Ino._   
_Ino._   
_Ino._   
_Ino._

The phone screen lit up.

_Ino._

Sakura stared at the screen for a minute. Her pager beeped and she hit ignore. She had to get to work.

 

Ino stared at her phone screen.

_Call ended._

She had not ended the call. She had not ended the call.

That…girl…had ignored her! Again! She could not believe it.

“Karin!” she flung her bedroom door open and strode across the apartment, her purple silk robe flying out behind her. She knew her makeup was smudged and her hair was tangled. “She is ignoring me!” she came to a halt, her bare feet skimming the latte coloured carpet. “Oh, hi Tenten.”

Tenten was sitting cross legged on the couch, chocolate bar halfway to her mouth. She completed the journey and greeted Ino with her cheeks puffing out. “Who’s ignoring you?” she asked.

“Sakura,” Ino rolled her eyes. “She is such a drama queen.”

“You’re pretty lucky Ino,” Tenten said, licking chocolate off her fingers. Ino spun around, hair whipping out, totally outraged. “I mean, seriously, after like, eighteen years this is the first time she’s ever flipped out at you like this. Considering all of the bullshit she’s put up with from you, I’d say you’re pretty lucky to have a friend like Sakura.” Tenten tipped her head back and dropped a few crumbs into her mouth.

Ino gaped at her. Tenten was a total social retard. She got through high school by being tough and running with a screwed up crowd that no one wanted to piss off. And Ino had no idea how she’d gotten her teaching license. But she had somehow secured a temporary position as a gym teacher at the Suna highschool. But then again, Ino wasn’t really sure how she and Karin even managed to graduate high school in the first place.

But the point was that Tenten did not read people well. She didn’t know how to react to certain situation beyond the ‘ass kick’. So who the fuck was she to tell Ino that she was the one at fault here and that she had better go crawling back to Sakura and apologize? Ino shouted this at her and Tenten just sat on the couch and stared.

“I never said for you to go crawling back to her an apologize, but this is technically your fault. If it was me you kicked out, you’d probably have gotten all your clothes burned in a garbage can. But Sakura is not me.” Tenten stretched her legs out and reached for her toes.

“Sakura is your best friend. She has put up with your drama-queen-center-of-attention bullshit for eighteen years and you kicked her out for a guy you met two months ago. He’s not even here. All I’m saying is that you fucked up. So you had better figure out why she’s mad at you and figure out how to fix it, because friends like her are one in a lifetime.”

“You’re going to hate me for saying this,” Karin said, capping her nail polish, “but Tenten’s got a point.”

“What?”Ino hissed.

“You fucked up.” Karin said, simply. “And now you have to fix it.”

“Well,” Tenten stood and rolled her shoulders, “As much as I’d love to stick around for the drama, I’ve got to go help Hinata hunt down her idiotic cousin. Peace, brothas.” Tenten gave Ino a chessy grin and ducked out the door. The nearest high heel left a small dent in the door where Tenten’s head was seconds before. Ino was breathing heavily. Tenten poked her head in.

“You really want to becareful with those shoes, you could hurt someone with those things.” Tenten quipped.

“GET OUT!” Ino screeched. She looked behind her, glaring at the mutinous Karin who was calmly sitting on the couch, using a toothpick to swirl bright turquoise onto her bright red nails.

“You know you have to fix it.” She said.

“I don’t have to fix anything. It’s Sakura that needs to grow the fuck up.” She spat.

“Denial isn’t just a river in Egypt,” Karin sang the old line from high school. Ino gritted her teeth and slammed back to her room. Not even calling Kiba, her boyfriend, could make her feel better right now.

Because in the pit of her stomach, underneath all the anger and disbelief that her best friend wasn’t speaking to her she could feel a dull, heavy feeling that she knew was loneliness and guilt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm mostly just going through this fic and fixing all the typos from three years ago and tbh it's a really boring and long process. This is what I'm reduced to post-exam season. I'm not even sure I'm doing a good job.


	4. What Happens at Garden Parties...

Her work schedule was seriously messed up right now. Tsunade had booked her off for a couple days for some weird garden party/dinner thing she was going to at one of her rich friends’ houses. Sakura had no idea why she had to go but apparently she didn’t have a choice. And you don’t argue with Auntie Tsunade if you value your life.

So instead of being at work helping save people she was lying on the couch of her new apartment staring blankly at the TV. And it wasn’t even on. This was how pathetic her life was. She could feel her cell phone wedged against her stomach between her and the couch. It had already rung about six times but she was too lazy to answer it.

_SAK. SAK. SAK. SAK. SAK._

It was Karin…again. Karin had recorded a special ringtone just for her ( Karin shouting her name over and over again) and now it was starting to get on Sakura’s nerves.

“Would you just pick up the fucking phone already!” Sasuke shouted from his room. Apparently she wasn’t the only one who was on her last nerve.

“Don’t you have a job to go to?” she yelled back, digging her phone out. “What, Karin?”

“I’m coming over with a little housewarming prezzie,” Karin said. Sakura knew she was grinning. You could just tell with Karin. And when Karin grinned it was never good.

“I await your arrival with complete and utter dread.” Sakura intoned.

“As you should.”

“Aren’t you a little late though? I have been living here for almost a month.” Sakura reminded her, sitting up. Someone was knocking and it wasn’t Karin. Karin didn’t knock. She just busted right in.

“SO? There is never a bad time to give gifts. And besides, now you have to buy me an extra Christmas prezzie.”

“Of course you have an ulterior motive. Why am I not surprised?” Sakura sighed and rolled off the couch. “I gotta get the door because fatass Sasuke can’t be bothered.”

“I heard that.” He called.

“Good! Maybe you’ll get some exercise then!” she shouted back, “Gotta go.” She said to Karin and hung up. She stood on tip toe to peer through the peep hole and her eyebrows shot up her forehead. Why was Mr. Tall Dark and Gorgeous knocking on her door?

“Hello?” she said. Mr. TDG had longish black hair that he kept tied back and he was wearing a black suit, black shirt and black tie, paired with a black coat, black gloves, black shoes and a red scarf. He held his hand out to shake hers.

“Hello. My name is Itachi Uchiha. Is Sasuke at home?”

“Um,” Sakura shook his hand dumbly. Wow. Wowzeewow and whoa. That was all she could think.

“What the fuck do you want, bastard?” Sasuke growled at her shoulder. She squealed and jumped.

“Don’t you make noise when you walk?” she snapped.

“No. What the fuck do you want?” Sasuke asked Itachi. Sakura felt incredibly tiny standing in between these two very tall very manly men. It was kind of nice actually.

“Would you like to come in?” she asked, just because the silent tension was killing her and she thought she might pee herself if the dynamic didn’t change soon.

“Why, yes. Thank you. How very polite and well-mannered your new roommate is, Sasuke,” Itachi commented, stepping inside. Sakura closed the door. Sasuke snorted and walked off and Itachi followed him.

“You never answered my question.” Sasuke pointed out, ignoring his comment about Sakura.

“I am merely a messenger today. Moth-”

“SAK! I BROUGHT PREZZIES!!!” Karin burst in with her usual lack of decorum. She spotted Sasuke and Itachi and halted. “Oh, ew. If you had told me the Terrible Two were going to be here I would have met you in the park or something.”

“Karin,” Itachi and Sasuke both glared warningly. Sakura snorted.

“I’m sorry, the Terrible Two? I figured you and Itachi were related, same last name and all, but how do you know Sasuke?”

“Oh! I totally forgot to tell you because he moved to Oto for like years, but Sasuke is my older brother as well!” Karin said cheerily.

“Okay, well. You three have fun. I have to go somewhere else now.” Sakura said.

“Why?” the Terrible Two plus Karin asked.

“Hell no am I staying in the same room as this gene pool. I have a certain level of self-confidence to maintain.”

At this point Karin totally ignored Sakura and kept talking. “I was going to bring Tenten and Hinata by as well, but Tenten mentioned something about a tournament and Hinata had to take over a dance class for Kurenai so it’s just me since Ino’s spending the day with her boyfriend, Kib-” at this point Sasuke coughed loudly.

“So why the fuck are you two here anyway?” he asked.

“I came to deliver a message from Mother.” Itachi said.

“I came to see my friend. Do you have a problem with that, Sasu-face?” Karin stuck her hands on her hips and glared. Sakura snorted again. Sasu-face? Really? Niiiiiice.

“I’ll show you my room, Karin and we can get lunch or something. I have the weekend off,” Sakura said, taking her friend by the arm and leading her away. She had a feeling this would relieve the Terrible Two greatly. And as she closed her bedroom door she could have sworn she heard two sighs of relief. She couldn’t  
blame them; dealing with Karin took a lot of stamina or a lot of pig headedness.

 

“So why are you here?” Sasuke asked again, throwing himself onto the couch.

“I already told you,”Itachi said, “I’m delivering a message.”

“So deliver it and get out.”

“There’s no call for rudeness,” Itachi pursed his lips before continuing. "Mother requires your presence at her greenhouse garden party this weekend. Father has already give you the time off, so you’ll have plenty of time to show up.”

“And if I don’t show up?” Sasuke asked, even though he already knew the answer.

“I shudder to think what Mother would do to you,” Itachi said. Sasuke nodded. He shuddered to think that too.

“Your new roommate,” Itachi said after a pause. “She isn’t quite what I expected.”

“I knew you had another reason for coming over here.” Sasuke growled. Naruto really had to learn to keep his mouth shut. His father would be stopping by soon and that was unacceptable. “What were you expecting?”

“A messy apartment and a rude welcome,” Itachi said. He smirked. “She’s rather pretty.”

“Get out you fucker.” Sasuke threw a pillow at him. He would have punched him but dealing with Karin, even for a few minutes, exhausted him. Itachi smirked and threw the pillow back.

“See you Sunday, little brother.” He said.

 

Karin was perched on Sakura’s bed looking at her with narrowed eyes through her glasses. She was the only on in her family who wore them. Itachi and Uncle Madara needed them but refused to wear them. She had no idea why, because, seriously, glasses were sexy. But for whatever reason they refused to even go see an eye doctor. She rolled her eyes and raised an eyebrow at Sakura.

“So?” she asked. Sakura looked at her.

“No.” she said. “No, no and definitely not.”

“Why?” Karin asked her. She pushed a bit of a whiney tone into her voice. Sakura  
could never resist her for long.

“Because I don’t want to look like a slut.”

“Oh please.” Karin snorted she had seen Sakura at clubs. “No one is going to see it.” She added.

“I’ll know it’s there and it will drive me nuts!” Sakura kicked the box under her bed. Karin pulled it out and dropped it on top of the covers.

“I still don’t see what’s wrong with it.” She said staring at the gift she had given Sakura.

“That’s because it’s something you would wear.” Sakura said pointedly.

“No it isn’t. I would have gone with something with much less fabric.” Karin reached down and picked up the soft, satiny fabric and held it up. “What is so wrong with showing off a little?”

“Because it’s a garden party at your house and your entire family will be there? I refuse to meet your mother looking like a tramp. Even if I'd only look like a tramp with my clothes off.” Sakura said primly. Karin looked down at the lingerie in her hands. Okay, so maybe it wasn’t really garden party material, but come on! This girl was so frumpy sometimes!

“Fine. But if you do not wear this to your hospital gala thing I will personally burn all your underwear so that you have no choice.”

“Thank you. I’ll think about it. As long as I don’t have to impress any corperate people. And for the garden party thing I was thinking, maybe I should just not go. I mean, I’d only know you and aunty there.”

“Not true.” Karin refolded the lingerie and plopped it back in the box. “You’ll know Hinata, because her family is always invited and I managed to convince her to show. And you’d know Tenten as well.” She conveniently forgot to mention Ino would be there with her boyfriend.

“Tenten?” Sakura sked. “How did she manage to get an invitation?”

“I think she’s going with Hinata’s cousin, Niji or Negi or something.” Karin said, offhand.

“Since when did Tenten have dates to anything?” Sakura asked. “She made a vow to hate all men after the Shino debacle, remember?”

“Didn’t last long. Apparently she likes sex.” Karin smirked. “Who knew she was such a slut?”

“Well tomorrow we are going to have to find out how our mad gym teacher managed to get a boyfriend before you did. Or me.”

“We know why you don’t have a boyfriend, Sak.” Karin said. “It’s because you’re married to your job and no one wants to date a girl who can’t stay awake during sex.”

Ouch. Sakura flinched. Karin was not one to pull her punches but that was just downright bitchy. Not that she was surprised.

“Yeah, well at least I have a job.” She muttered. Karin snorted.

“I do have a job.”

“Yeah, at the strip club.” Sakura shoved the box with the lingerie under the bed again. “I still don’t get how you dad, head of a billion dollar private secutiry organization doesn’t know that.”

“A private investigator he is not. And I told Itachi and he vouched for me with daddy. If Sasuke eve found out however…” Karin shivered. Sakura raised an eyebrow and poked her head out of the room to check that he wasn’t listening. he was lying face down on the couch again.

“Yeah, let’s keep that to ourselves, shall we?”

“Mhm.” Karin said. She reached under the bed and dropped the dress on the bed again. “Here’s your other gift. It matches the slutty underwear.” She plonked another box on the bed. Her purse was a bottomless pit. “I gotta book. I have to get a few hours of sleep before I pull the night shift. See you Sunday, my little flower!” she sang and waltzed out. Sakura flopped back on the bed and stared at the boxes. All she really wanted to do was sleep now. Karin literally sucked the energy out of her.

All he was doing was sitting and trying to avoid being noticed. Sure it was his house and his garden party (in a greenhouse) but that didn’t mean he had to socialize. When she saw his mother coming he leapt up and ducked around the corner. If she found him she would make him mingle and that was not happening. He was tired, his whole body was aching and he really wished they were serving alcohol at this thing.

“Tsunade, I swear, she is a spitting image of Kyoko! I would have thought she was the same person if it wasn’t for her eyes!” his mother, Mikoto said.

“Yes, she does have a striking similarity to her mother. But she’s got her father’s brains, that’s for sure.” Tsunade was a tall blonde woman. He recognized her from the hospital. He shook his head and ducked out of sight again when Karin went barrelling around the corner with her loud, obnoxious blonde friend. He couldn’t understand why Kiba was dating her. Or living with her. Because she annoyed the fuck out of him.

“Teme!”

“Oh god.”

“Teme, why are you hiding?” Naruto asked.

“Would you shut up? I’m avoiding my mom.” Sasuke hissed.

“Why?” Naruto asked. He couldn’t be bothered to whisper. It was stupid.

“Because if she sees me she’s going to make me listen to people talk.”

“Oh, right. And you can’t do that because you’re too important to hear about the daily lives of normal people.” Naruto snorted.

“Shut up, asshole.” Sasuke glared. Naruto always teased him about his inability to adapt to social situations. It had earned him a sort of bad boy mystique in high school but that didn’t stop his father from losing his cool and yelling at him or his mother from gently pushing him into situations like this in hopes that he’s magically fix himself. It wasn’t like he didn’t have social skills, he just didn’t know how to use them. He was a bit jealous of Naruto, who never had a problem with interacting with people.

“Naruto?” a familiar voice spoke. “Why are you teasing a potted plant?”

“Sakura-chan!” Nartuo spun around and hugged her. “I didn’t know you were going to be here!”

“Yeah, I came with my aunt. My mom and my aunt and Mrs. Uchiha were high  
school friends.” Sakura said. “But that still doesn’t explain the potted plant.”

“Sasuke-teme is hiding because he doesn’t like people.” Naruto said. Sasuke groaned.

“Well clearly he does like people or he wouldn’t be living with us.” Sakura pointed out. Sasuke was actually grateful she was there. Which surprised him, because he could barely stand living with Naruto as it was and they were best friends. “Well, I only know, like three other people here, so you two officially have the task of making me feel less awkward.” She cocked her head to the side and smiled at Sasuke, who was leaning in an alcove just behind a potted plant. “That should keep you mom off your back.”

Sasuke didn’t even have time to respond before she grabbed his arm and looped it with hers. He wondered briefly how much she had overheard and then got distracted by the approach of Neji’s uncle. Oh balls.

 

Sakura took a moment to check Sasuke out. Because seriously, this boy was one sexy mofo. He was just standing there in his shirt with the sleeves rolled up and his nice, sexy dark wash jeans (ohmygod) and she could feel the muscle on his forearm because she was currently digging her fingers into his flesh. Hinata’s dad always freaked her out, but he was in top form today. God, she so didn’t want to die under his x-ray stare!

“So, Sakura-san,” Hiashi said. Balls. “How are things at the hospital?”

“Things…at the hospital,” Sakura said slowly. She couldn’t remember if there was something special to say here or not…Tsunade had mentioned something…it was on the tip of her tongue. She improvised, “Are good. I could do with a few less hours, but someone’s got to do the paperwork!”

Hiashi smiled dryly at her lame joke. Hinata come and save me! But she knew it wouldn’t happen, because Hinata avoided her father at all costs. And there was no way she was going to resort to silently begging for prima donna Hanabi to come to her rescue. She had her pride, thanks.

“So how have you been, Hyuuga-san?” she asked weakly. Did the guy know he terrified everyone in a twenty foot radius?

“I have been well. Please inform your Aunt that I will be at the hospital for my regular appointment and that I apologize for last weeks’ mishap.” He said stiffly. Sakura barely had time to agree before he turned and walked away.

“What am I, you’re messenger? I don’t think so.” She muttered.

“Hiashi is a regular at the hospital?” Sasuke asked. He and Naruto were staring at her intently. Sakura narrowed her eyes. She knew that look; it was the look Karin and Ino wore every time she got back from a date in high school and college. It was the Shameless Gossip look. Sakura rolled her eyes.

“Yeah,” she said. She had learned it was wiser not to resist. “He’s getting prepped for surgery and he missed his appointment last week because of an emergency. And before you ask, he’s having surgery on his knee. Apparently he threw it out sparring with Hinata’s cousin.” She snorted. It was his own fault, but she heard from Tenten that he tortured his nephew for the whole week he was house bound. That man needed an attitude adjustment.

“That old man threw out his knee sparring with Neji?” Naruto asked. He sounded rather impressed.

“Wait, Neji?” Sakura asked. She had endured another weekend of videogames and swearing until four am and she didn’t like it. The stoic Hyuuga was always present and she didn’t have a very good opinion of him. “Neji is Hiashi’s nephew?”

Sasuke nodded and un-looped their arms.

“No fucking way!” Sakura giggled. She looked across the greenhouse room at Neji and spotted Tenten lurking with Karin a few feet away whispering. “No. Way. I can’t believe she didn’t tell me. Bitch.”

“What?” Sasuke asked, handing her a drink. He was looking behind them and rolling his eyes.

“Sup, bitches!” Karin crowed. She had abandon Tenten to Hiashi’s glare and Hanabi’s attitude.

“Shh, Karin. Sakura was about to tell us about something very secret and important.” Naruto said.

“OOOOH! We’re gossiping? All right, spill it, Pinky.”

“Thanks.” She said to Sasuke. “And shut up.” She said to Karin. “The brunette over there? Yeah, she’s one of my best friends and a totally insane Phys Ed teacher at Suna high. She’s been dating-”

“Would you call it dating?” Karin interjected.

“What would you call it?” she asked.

“Fucking.” Karin helped herself to Sakura’s drink. She jerked it away and kept going.

“She’s been, uh, hooking up with Hiashi’s nephew for, what is it?” she asked Karin, “A year?” Karin nodded and munched on an olive. “Do you know that your brohter’s friend, Neji, the stiffest man alive (TWSS!!!!), and I don’t mean it like that Karin, is that nephew?”

“Oh. My. Fucking. God.” Karin dropped her olive on the ground. “You are screwing with me, Haruno. You are screwing with me because there is no way that Tenten, our Tenten, the fucking scariest bat-shit crazy girl alive is banging that. No way.”

“Way.” Sakura said simply. She sipped her drink. How did Sasuke know she loved cranberry juice with crushed ice? Or maybe it was just a random drink he grabbed…she was getting paranoid.

 

Sasuke un-looped his arm from his weird female roommates’ but didn’t leave, because, honestly, he liked talking to her. Even if he didn’t do much of the talking. He saw his mother glare at him so to compensate for ‘being rude’ he grabbed her a drink. Cranberry juice with crushed ice. It was the only thing she ever drank. And she would drink it all day if she could. He handed it to her and stepped neatly out of the way as his sister barrelled in. It was a sixth sense he and Itachi developed as soon as Karin could walk. Because his sister was a natural disaster. Then the dirt on Neji started to spill. He smirked at Naruto. No way was Hyuuga living this down. Not ever. A gym teacher? Really? Wow. Although, he had to admit, the gym teacher was very good looking and very fit. He also took note that Hyuuga and the gym teacher disappeared for a very long time. When they finally reappeared, near the end of the event, the both looked rather ruffled.

 

Sakura spotted Tenten and her sort-of-kind-of-boyfriend reemerging from the house looking ruffled but please with themselves. She snorted and looked at Karin who licked her lips and smirked. There was a terrifyingly evil look in her eye. Sakura raised an eyebrow at her and pondered for a moment. Was it worth risking Karin’s wrath to warn Tenten of the Karin Assult that was coming her way? Nope, not at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually have two friends in uni who are essentially Tenten and Neji in this story (and are also dating).


	5. Ambushed

Sakura wasn’t really expecting anyone to knock on the door today. She had just gotten in from the hospital (having begged off the graveyard shift) and was ready to completely relax in front of the TV. She should have realized when she saw Sasuke lounging on the couch that her dreams were destined to be shattered. But she ignored the signs and flopped on the couch. At this point she didn’t really care it she had to share the couch with him. She just really wanted to get off her feet.

Sasuke had gotten very good at ignoring Sakura of late. It annoyed him that she managed to invade his brain as well as his home. Even when he was at work, coaching new recruits for the security teams she would appear in his head. But he found it was much easier to ignore her when she was further away from him. So her deciding to sit on the couch right next to him completely ruined his plans.

But he still made an effort. He didn’t move when she sat down. He kept his eyes straight forward, even though he hated watching the commercials. Then he stole a quick look at her sideways.

Sasuke was planning to look away but it was becoming increasingly difficult. Sakura, from her position on the couch, arched her back. Sasuke’s eyes almost popped out of his head. He had never noticed the figure she possessed until now. He watched her as she reached around and started to massage her shoulders. Each time her fingers pressed a muscle that was tight from overwork she let out a tiny moan. Sasuke sucked the air into his throat. He glanced sideways again and bolted from his seat. He slammed the bathroom door and leaned against it.

“Can you hurry up in there? I want to have a shower.” Sakura called.  
Sasuke thumped his head against the thin wood of the door, taking deep breaths.

“Helloooo,” Sakura tapped on the door.

“Alright!” Sasuke shouted. “God.” He heard Sakura walk away. He sighed and looked down. Swearing violently he unbuckled his belt. Goddamn girl was becoming much more than an annoyance.

 

Since Sasuke was taking his sweet time in the bathroom Sakura grabbed the remote and flicked through the channels. Sasuke had been watching sports and she wasn’t much of a fan. She stretched herself out one last time and flipped the TV off. Maybe a quick nap.

_Knock. Knock._

“Oh God,” Sakura groaned. She pushed herself up off the couch and shuffled to the door. She pulled the door open. The sight that met her eyes pulled her up short.

“Um,” she said, “hello.”

The whole Uchiha family was standing in the hall outside the apartment door. Sakura shot a look at Karin who shrugged and nodded at her mother.

“Would you like to come in?” Sakura asked slowly. She stepped aside and the four  
people entered very stiffly. Karin raised her eyebrows at her and mouthed ‘where’s Sasuke?’ Sakura shrugged and jabbed her thumb at the bathroom. She watched nervously as three of the unknown Uchiha’s surveyed the apartment. She mentally cursed Sasuke and Naruto for not cleaning up.

“I’m sorry the place is such a mess,” she said, “I wasn’t really expecting anyone.” The man she assumed was Sasuke’s father narrowed his eyes at her. She swallowed and looked at Karin. Who was completely unhelpful as usual. “I’ll just go get Sasuke, shall I?” she said and bolted for the bathroom. She hid around the corner and tapped gently on the door.

“Sasuke?” she whispered.

“What?” he bit out. He sounded impatient.

“There’s been a little bit of an unexpected twist to the evening.” She said.

“Spit it out already!” Sasuke said.

“Your family is here.”

There was a very long pause. Then through the bathroom door she heard:

“Fuck.”

 

Sasuke was trying his best to be quite. He usually didn’t do this kind of thing with other people in the apartment. And then, the next thing he knew, the very cause of his current problem was tapping on the goddamn door again.

“Sasuke?” she whispered. Why the hell was she whispering?

“What?” he hissed back.

“There’s been a little bit of an unexpected twist to the evening.” God, didn’t she  
ever get right to the point?

“Spit it out already!” he snapped.

“Your family is here,” she said. He froze and for a long moment he processed that information. His blood ran cold.

“Fuck,” he said.

 

Sakura was standing in the living room. There were three pairs of eyes on her. Karin was rummaging in the kitchen, probably for alcohol.

“So what do you do, Sakura?” Itachi broke the silence. Sakura breathed a sigh of relief and launched into the details of her job. After that the conversation seemed to flow more rapidly and, she may have missed something, but all of a sudden Sasuke’s father had turned to her with a completely serious face.

“What is your sexual orientation?” he asked, in a clipped tone.

…

…

…

“I beg your pardon?” she asked quietly.

“Um, Sakura-chan?” Naruto was standing at the door to the living room. His sneakers were hanging from one hand and his hair was dishevelled. “What’s going on?” he had clearly just come back from practice.

“Oh!” Sakura paused for a moment. She wasn’t really sure what was going on. No one had said why they were here.

“Why are you here, Mom?” Sasuke was in his usual position, holding up the wall with his shoulder. “You usually call beforehand.”

And to Sakura’s surprise, Sasuke’s mother blushed and looked away. She glared at her husband and sat on the couch.

“Yo, Sak, where do you keep the wine?” Karin asked. Sakura sighed and went to the kitchen to help her.

“Why was your dad asking if I was straight or not?” she whispered.

“I dunno.” Karin shrugged. “He stopped talking to me when Itachi told him I was a wedding planner. You know, as a cover up for my stripper job. And he still hasn’t accepted the irony of me being a wedding planner either. He’s convinced that I’m going to fall in deep, passionate, respectful love with a dashing groomsman or something.”

“We all know that’s never going to happen.” Sakura snorted. “By the way, I saw that kind of sharky looking friend of Sasuke’s checking you out. More than once.” Sakura opened the fridge and took out some beer as well. “And also, what’s with the random drop in? Why did your whole family decide to drop by?”

“Really? That guy?” Karin leaned on the counter. She shimmied her skirt up her waist a bit and folded the top over. “Hmm, never really thought about that one before. He’d definitely give Dad a heart attack. He’s got a tattoo, you know. And don’t ask me why the whole family joined me. I was just planning to drag you out to an evening of massages and shopping.”

“God, that sounds heavenly.” Sakura said. She was just about to ask if they could sneak out when she was rudely interrupted.

“Well you can’t ask people things like that!”

“I won’t stand for you telling me what to do!”

“This is my house! I’ll tell you what to do if I want to!”

Sakura and Karin wheeled toward the living room and poked their heads out. On one side of the room Sasuke was standing with Naruto in front of him, pushing him backwards, to the front door. On the other, Sasuke’s father was being forced down into a chair by Itachi. Both of them were red in the face and shouting at each other.

“Quick!” Karin hissed “Invite us to stay for dinner!”

“What?”

“Just do it!” Karin shoved her out into the room. Sakura stumbled, almost fell and caught herself.

The whole room froze. Sasuke’s mother looked up mildly from her seat on the couch.

“Um,” Sakura stared for a moment. Karin poked her in the ribs. “Would you all like to stay for dinner?”

The second the words left her mouth Sasuke’s mother’s face broke into a grin.

“Good, good. She likes you now. Now tell them you need Sasuke to drive you to the  
store for ingredients.” Karin whispered. Sakura blinked but she followed her instructions. Things seemed to be going better.

“Uh, Sasuke,” she said carefully. Depending on how she worded it, he might refuse. “Would you mind driving me to the store? I need to pick up some ingredients for dinner.”

“Drive yourself.” He said. He was still glaring at his father. It suddenly struck Sakura as funny, how two grown men were glaring at each other like school boys.

“She can’t,” Karin broke in. “Her license expired and she hasn’t renewed it yet.”

Sakura tried to look like this wasn’t a complete lie and nodded like mad. She stopped when Karin jabbed her in the ribs again.

“Stop that.” She hissed. “You look like a fool.”

“Sasuke,” his mother said, “drive her to the store.”

And that was that.

 

In the car it was pretty quiet. Sasuke drove slowly, casting sidelong looks at his passenger every so often. She was sitting, curled up in the front seat, with her gloved hands over her ears. Every so often she shivered. Sasuke sighed and stopped at the light. He ignored the honking from other cars and yanked his hat off his head. He flinched when the cold air assaulted his, until recently, warm head and leaned over. He tugged the hat down over Sakura’s head and then started driving again.

“Ahh!” Sakura yelped when he shoved his hat on her head. Obviously she was somewhere else in her brain. “Wha-?” she asked.

“If you’re cold just say so.” Sasuke said, turning the heat on. “And next time bring your own damn hat.”

Sakura tugged the warm knit cap over her ears and mumbled “Thanks,” under her breath.

It was very quiet after that. Sasuke occasionally looked at her, pretending not to notice how nice she looked wearing his hat.

“Can I ask you something?” she asked.

“Hn.”

Sakura raised an eyebrow but continued. She had given up trying to make him speak in actual words. “What is your dad’s problem?”

“What?”

“Does he not like me or something? Is there some way I offended him in the two minutes I was in his presence? Because he was pretty rude.”

“He thinks you’re a gold digger.” Sasuke said flatly. Sakura made a noise somewhere between a laugh and a snort.

“He thinks I’m a gold digger?” she snorted again. Clamping her hands over her mouth she shook with laughter.

“It’s not that funny.” Sasuke said.

“Yeah,” Sakura chocked out. “It is.” She eventually stopped laughing and settled back into silence. Sasuke cleared his throat and mentally reminded himself that this girl was NOT cute because she annoyed the fuck out of him.

“So,” she said. Sasuke just managed not to groan. He didn’t like talking much. “I was thinking, for dinner, what should I make?”  
Sasuke stopped driving and turned to look at her slowly. “You’re making me drive you to the store and you don’t even know what to make for dinner yet?”

“Oh, like you ever cook. This is how I do it. I see something in the store I like and I plan the meal around it. Keep driving.”

Sasuke hung a left into the parking lot of the supermarket and they got out of the car. Sakura stamped her feet against the cold and hurried inside. Sasuke wondered, briefly, why his mother liked her, and followed her inside.

 

“Yeah?” Sakura asked. She was holding her phone in one hand and pushing the cart  
with the other. Sasuke was trailing behind her looking at the prices, shaking his head.

“ _Yeah, and we know Itachi likes you, because you’re young, pretty and successful._ ” Karin said. Sakura switched hands, shaking the blood back into her right hand.

“Why does your mom like me again?” she asked.

“ _She likes you because you’re a girl who is pretty, smart, not insane (as far as she knows, so we should keep some of our uni adventures under out hats), and not a whore. And you can cook._ ”

“So your mom likes me because I can keep it in my pants and cook?”

“ _Yup._ ”

“And you dad doesn’t like me why?”

“ _He thinks you are a lying, cheating gold digger with no moral backbone._ ”

“Tell your dad to stop confusing me with you. We don’t even look that much alike.” Sakura said. She picked up a bundle of spinach and chucked it into the cart.

“ _Bitch,_ ” Karin said cheerfully.

“Damn,” Sakura looked around “I lost your damn brother. I’ll call you back.”

“ _Pick up some wine! My mom loves a good wine. And if she likes you then what dad thinks of you doesn’t even matter._ ”

“Yeah, whatever.” Sakura said. She hung up and started searching the aisles for her wayward driver.

Not surprisingly, Sakura found Sasuke perusing the wine. She pushed the cart up to him and ‘ _hem hem_ ’ –ed.

“It’s like babysitting. Every time I go to the store with Naruto or you I have to keep you on a leash.” She muttered.

“I didn’t have to come with you,” he said.

“Shut it and help me find a wine to go with dinner, you little drunkard.” Sakura said rudely.

“Don’t call me that.” He said, looking in her cart and picking up a few bottles.

“The truth hurts, hun.”

“It’s not that,” he said, putting the bottles back and picking up some different ones,  
“I’d just prefer not to be called that because that’s what I call Karin.” After a second he held up a bottle. “This is the one you want.” And walked away.

Sakura looked in her cart at the random array of food items and then at the bottle. It made no sense. “If you say so?” she asked herself.

 

His wallet was a little lighter now, but he was back inside his apartment in the warm and dry. Instead of outside in the freezing, icy cold. He was letting Naruto and Itachi distract his dad while he sat with a beer and watched Sakura and his mom in the kitchen. Mikoto had insisted on helping with dinner and Sakura (who looked dead on her feet) had accepted after only a little resistance.

“Admit it,” Karin slid down next to him. “You think she’s got a nice ass.”

“Fuck off,” Sasuke said.

“You know how she got that ass?” Karin asked. She had this horrible way of making people uncomfortable. “I do.” And she also had this horrible habit of making Sasuke insane.

“What part of ‘fuck off’ did you not get?”

“The ‘off’ part. Guys usually follow ‘fuck’ with ‘go harder’.” Karin shrugged and sipped her wine. It was remarkable how she managed to look classy when she was talking about sex.

“K, want to give us a hand?” Sakura called.

“I can’t cook.” Karin pointed out.

“Yeah, it’s not with the cooking,” Sakura held out two wine glasses. “We just want you to pour us more alcohol.”

“Well I can’t do it. I might get them confused with my glass.” Karin said. “Make Sasu-face do it.”

“Sasuke,” Mikoto called. “Would you please pour us some wine?”

Sasuke groaned and stood up. “Yeah, fine.” He took the glasses from her, trying to ignore the tingle where their fingers touched and went to pour the wine.

Karin whipped out her cell phone and speed dialled Ino.

“You want to get back in Sak’s good books?” She asked.

“ _I already told you, four eyes, I am not apologizing._ ”

“Yeah, whatever. That’s not what I was going to say pig face.”

“ _Fine, spill it. What’s your plan?_ ”

“Help me get Sasuke and Sakura together.”

“ _What?_ ”

“My idiotic brother Sasuke? You met him. He’s got a thing for Sakura. I can totally tell. We’ve got to set them up!”

“ _I don’t know, K. What if she doesn’t like him like that? She’ll hate me even more for meddling._ ” Karin could practically see Ino twisting her silky blonde hair around her finger, biting her lip.

“Look, do you want to play matchmaker or not? I need an answer quick, my window of opportunity is running out.”

“ _Ummm..._ ”

“Ino!”

“ _Ummm..._ ”

“Ino!” Sasuke was walking back in her direction.

“ _Oh okay! Fine!_ ” Ino shouted. Karin smirked.

“Excellent.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm thinking of being obnoxious and adding the FF stats to the summary of this so that people know it was sorta popular LOL


	6. Famous Last Words

Sakura was sitting on the couch. Lately she had found herself there instead of at work. It seemed like Tsunade was trying to drive her crazy by not letting her come into work. So maybe she had worked forty eight hours straight, but it was flu season! People were taking sick days left right and center. And Sakura never got sick. So she had taken on a few more hours than she normally did. And Tsunade, who was being completely unreasonable, had found out and forbidden her to come into work for a week. Sakura was so bored she thought she might explode. She was actually watching the morning news.

“Sasuke!” she shouted.

“What?” he asked. He wasn’t even far enough away to yell (other side of the couch eating cereal before he left for work).

“I’m bored.” Naruto was never around to entertain her because he was off in Suna for a soccer tournament. That was his job. He played soccer. All day. And could take time  
off whenever he wanted.

“I know,” Sasuke said. He always seemed to be annoyed with her.

“Why do you sound annoyed with me? I got kicked out of my job for doing my job and my stupid roommates aren’t even sympathetic. If they were just little nicer to me I’d be less annoying.”

“You really should stop talking to yourself,” Sasuke got up to put his bowl in the kitchen sink, “People are going to start thinking you’re crazy.”

“Fuck you,” Sakura muttered. Sasuke had this horrible habit of being rude to her. Sasuke smirked and went to grab his keys. He was just doing up his coat when Sakura’s giant brain had an idea.

“Hey, Sasuke?” she asked, slinking up to him.

Sasuke frowned. Why was she looking at him like that?

“What?” he asked hesitantly.

“You’ve seen where I work, right?” she asked.

“Yeah, when I fractured my ribs last month.”

“So, I have a teensy-tiny-itty-bitty little favour to ask.”

“Oh God.”

“Can I come with you to work?” Oh fuck.

“Not a chance.”

“Whhhyyyy?” Sakura looped her arms around his, keeping him from leaving the apartment (unless he wanted to drag her along with him).

“Because when I went to the hospital it was because I needed to see a doctor.”

“So? I still showed you and Naruto around. You were the one who wanted to see the MRI machine.” Sakura poked him in the side for emphasis. “Pleasepleaseplease?”

“No.”

“Why not!” Sakura stamped her foot. Sasuke reallyreallyreally wanted to strangle her right now.

“Because I-” he stopped. He couldn’t think of a reason to not take her. But he didn’t really want to bring her either. But if he left her here then he would never hear the end of it. But if he brought her with him then he would also never hear the end of it.

“Well,” he stalled, thinking. How was he going to get out of this fuck up?

“Well, what?” Sakura asked. His sister would be best friends with a bossy, pushy, psycho doctor. It was just so typical.

“If you want to come to work with me you have to stay in the office I put you in and do what I tell you.” He said finally. He’d think of something more permanent on the way there.

“REALLY?!” Sakura grabbed him and started dancing around. “YES!” she celebrated. “I was actually going to die of boredom. I mean I can’t call Tenten because she’s in Suna and I’m not speaking to Ino-bitch and Karin is rehearsing for…something. Oh! And Hina’s still in Paris, lucky girl.”

Sasuke tuned out her senseless rambling and threw her coat at her. She pulled it on happily and he wondered how he was going to explain this to his boss, who also happened to be his father. God forbid he’d have to stoop to asking Itachi for help.

 

Sakura was enjoying herself immensely. She had, for starters, convinced Sasuke to take her with him to work and now she was sitting in the nurses’ office of the prestigious Uchiha Security Inc. washing her hands after bandaging up a trainee. She had already patched up four people today and it was only eleven. Overall, she was feeling good.

_Tap tap tap._

“Come in!” she called. She turned around, reaching for a pair of latex gloves, just in case. Sasuke opened the door.

“What happened to you?”

“Nothing,” he said. “You need to take a look at Konohamaru.” He pushed a trainee inside and started to leave.

“Hold up.” Sakura snagged the back of his shirt and dragged him back inside. Yes he was a full grown man of six foot four weighing in at almost 180 pounds of solid muscle and yes she was only 120 pounds and five foot two but she was on the field hockey team in high school and she was forced to take judo with Tenten. She could drag people twice her size around if she wanted to thank you very much. “Sit,” she shoved Sasuke to a chair. She narrowed her eyes at him. “Stay.”

“I’m not a dog.” He muttered. Sakura chose to ignore this and smiled at Konohamaru.

“All right, let’s see what we’ve got here.”

 

Hinata go off the red eye from Paris feeling like shit. This came as no surprise. Even flying first class red eyes were a bitch. And to top things off she had to catch a taxi from Suna to Konoha because the Konoha airport was shut down. There was some bullshit story about flooding in the runways or something. She wanted to scoff but she was too tired and her neck hurt.

Why oh why did Kurenai have to go into labour an hour before the Paris dance competition? How could her mentor and friend possibly think Hinata could handle twelve catty dancers by herself?

Exhausted and feeling ill, Hinata walked, with her suit case and duffle bag, to the nearest café.

“One large coffee, black.” She said. The whirring of the bean grinder made her wince.  
She sat close to the window and meditated on the pavement outside while she sipped her coffee slowly. She would feel better in a few minutes. A hand descended on her shoulder and she jumped.

“Hey,” Tenten slid into the seat across from her. “I called your name like four times but you didn’t answer.”

“Oh, sorry,” Hinata said. She shook her head, “I just got in a few minutes ago.”

“And already, you’re hitting the coffee hard.”

“Red eye from Paris.” Hinata gulped some coffee.

“Ouch,” Tenten winced for her. “That’s a bitch. I don’t have work later, I can give you a ride home.”

“No, it’s okay. I can just catch a cab.”

“You’d have to wait around for about an hour because I’ve got one more class of freshmen to terrorize but after that I’m free.” Tenten said. She turned to look out the window as well.

“WAIT! Coach, I need to grab a snack for the road!” a tall blond walked in. he went right past their table and up to the counter. He rattled off an order of about five things. Tenten raised her eyebrows at Hinata.

“That’s impressive.” She said. Then, “Oh my God.”

“What?” Hinata asked. She wrapped her cold hands around the coffee mug. Tenten totally ignored her.

“YOU!” she shouted. Half the coffee shop looked around. Hinata dropped her head onto her arms. If only she could just vanish.

“What?” the blond mans asked. Hinata sneaked a peek at him. He was quite good looking. His eyes were very, very blue.

“You’re the forward on the Konoha soccer team.” Tenten said. Hinata sighed, sat up and drank some more coffee. Tenten could be very intense sometimes.

“Yeah,” he said. He looked a little bit wary of her. Of course, anyone sensible was wary of Tenten. Hinata sat and watched her pelt him with questions for a few more seconds then took pity on him.

“Tenten,” she called.

“What!” her friend whipped around, glaring.

“I can just call Neji for a ride.” She took a slightly sadistic pleasure in watching Tenten blanch.

“NO! No, no, no. I’ll drive you.” She stammered. Hinata supposed she got her mean streak from Ino and Karin.

“Oh, where you headed?” the man asked. He seemed relieved to be talking to someone normal.

“To Konoha,” Hinata said. She hid her stutter in her coffee.

“Oh hey! Me too! We just finished our tournament. Got smoked by Ame in overtime.” The blond shook his head, but he was grinning.

“Can you believe that?” Tenten said. “Ame? How could our team lose to Ame?”

“I don’t- oh, hold on.” He pulled out his phone and scanned the screen. “Bastards left without me?” he stuffed his phone back in his pocket and picked up his bag. “I should get going. I might be able to catch the last bus out of here.”

“You know,” Tenten said, “You could always get a cab back with Hinata.” Hinata coughed and put her coffee down. It wasn’t good to drink when Tenten was planning on surprising her.

 

“So how exactly did you end up with this?” Sakura poked Sasuke’s back. He winced and jumped away from her.

“Stop it.” He growled. He grit his teeth when she grinned at him.

“Get back here, you baby. I’m just going to make sure nothing’s broken.” She said. He glowered at her but sat back down on the examination table.

“Ouch!” he jumped up again.

“I barely touched you!” Sakura said. She crossed her arms and glared at him “Sit.”

“I’m not a dog.” He muttered. She had a way of making him do what she wanted. Stupid, bossy, psycho doctor.

“So how did this massive bruise the size of China happen?” she asked. Her fingers gently brushed over his skin. He flinched but didn’t move from the table.

“Suigetsu. Little fuck.” Sasuke growled. He remembered how that fishy asshole had swung a baton into his back when he wasn’t looking. ‘Demonstrating’ the proper use, he said. Fucker.

Sakura snorted and smoothed something cold on his back.

“Jesus! What is that?” The strong smell of peppermint wafted to his nose.

“Peppermint. It’s soothing and all natural.” Sakura said. “One more second.”

He felt a stinging on his back as well. “Whatever he hit you with broke the skin. I just have to bandage you up.”

Sakura slapped a bandage on him and tossed him his shirt.

_SAK. SAK. SAK. SAK._

“Oh damn.” Sakura dove for her phone. “What Karin?” she waved Sasuke away. “Go away now.” She mouthed at him. He rolled his eyes and got up. He paused outside the door, leaving it open slightly.

“Hold on, I’m putting you on speaker.” Sakura said. “Okay, go.”

“ _Where are you?_ ”

“I’m at Sasuke’s work, filling in as nurse. Tsunade kicked me out of the hospital for the week. Can you believe that?”

“ _Yeah, whatever,_ ” Karin said. “ _So have you made a choice about the job offer my dad gave you?_ ”

Job offer? What? Sasuke leaned closer to the door.

“No, I think I’m going to stay at the hospital. I don’t think I want to privatize. And besides, I like the hospital. The only thing I’d have to do here is hand out band aids. I don’t think I could handle that. Besides, I thought your dad didn’t like me.”

“ _Yeah, I guess._ ” Karin was bored with this topic already. Sasuke couldn’t figure out why Sakura hadn’t mentioned it. The dinner ambush had happened almost two weeks ago.

“ _So are you coming shopping with me and my mom tomorrow?_ ” she was shopping with his mother?

“Yeah, I’ll be there.” Sakura said.

“ _How is Sasuke by the way?_ ” Karin asked. He did not like the tone of voice his little sister was using.

“Don’t start.” Apparently Sakura didn’t like it either. “I do not have any feelings for Sasuke. Not like that.”

“ _Sure you don’t._ ”

“I don’t!” Sakura insisted.

“ _Uh huh._ ” Karin obviously didn’t believe her. Sasuke leaned closer. He wasn’t sure what he was hoping to hear. Was he hoping she’d recant her ‘non-feelings’ for him or was he dreading she’d deny it again?

“For the last time, Karin, as attractive as he is, I don’t have a schoolgirl crush on your brother.” Sakura said. Sasuke smirked. She thought he was attractive.

“ _Famous last words,_ ” Karin drawled. Sasuke felt his blood run cold. Wasn’t that exactly what Naruto had said to him before he left for Suna? Wasn’t this almost the exact same conversation they had?

 

Tenten was rather pleased with herself. Karin would be proud of her. She had set up  
timid but gorgeous Hinata with Sakura’s crazy blond roommate. She had only met him briefly but he seemed nice. And she was certain that they were perfect for each other. After all, who else would counter all that craziness but calm, cool, collected Hinata? And she even had a sense of humour. She should probably keep Ino up to date with her little plot. It might cheer her up.

“ _You’re calling Ino Yamanaka. I’m not available right now so leave a message!_ ” Tenten rolled her eyes. Ino’s voicemail was deceptively professional. But she wasn’t professional at all. Still, she was a pretty good impromptu therapist, especially about boys, so Tenten tried to stay on her good side.

“Yo skank, it’s me. I am only putting up with your ridiculous voicemail because I require your devious mind to assist me in my latest diabolical plot. Call me, bitch.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All the chapters are a little time skippy, but I wrote this on the fly. Like I do with everything I write. I made no plans.


	7. CrushCrushCrush

“Okay, listen up,” Karin said. All her girls were gathered around their usual cafe table (minus Sakura). “We have a mission to complete. We are going to get Sakura into my brother’s pants.”

“You couldn’t have found a more delicate way to put that?” Hinata wrinkled her nose. Tenten snorted.

“That was Karin being delicate.” She drawled.

“Hmm,” Ino tapped her manicured nails on the table. “If Sakura were speaking to me this would be so much easier.” She scrunched up her face. “There’s only one solution. We have to get them out of the city.”

“B-by themselves?” Hinata asked. “I d-don’t think Sakura would be too happy about t-that.”

“She’s right.” Tenten put in. “She’s cagey like that. Freak.”

“So what are you suggesting?” Karin asked.

“Hinata’s family has got that cabin by the lake, yes?” Tenten asked. “Let’s all go.”

“All as in?”

“Us. And that moron and all his useless friends.”

There was a long pause as Karin pondered the untapped diabolical resource that was Tenten. “I like it.”

“I call not telling psycho doc.” Tenten said. She flung one hand up in the air. A waiter appeared at her side. “Cinnamon Chocolate latte to go. And a slice of banana bread.” She said. She dug her wallet out of her purse/sports bag thing. “My lunch break is almost over. Think it over. Call me.” She said. She went to wait at the counter for her order.

“I should probably get going too. The shop is going to fall to pieces is Mari’s hands.” Ino said. She slung her purse over her shoulder and got up. “You two should talk to Sakura. She’ll like the idea more if Hinata suggests it to her. Hey, Tenten! Wait up!”  
Karin sighed and looked at Hinata. Hinata shrugged. “Should we go tell her?”

“T-tomorrow. We want to do t-this c-carefully.” Hinata sipped her tea. “If we d-don’t present it in the r-right way she might r-refuse.”

“Point.” Karin nodded. She tapped her nails against her chin, thinking. “We should get everyone else to agree to it. Ino can take care of her boyfriend and you can take care of your idiot cousin. I’ll handle my brother and his roommate.”

“W-what about the other one?” Hinata asked.

“What, the sharky guy? Kisame’s cousin?” Karin looked surprised. She hadn’t really thought about it. But now that she did…he might be fun to have along. He had a certain mischievous streak to him that she admired. “Okay, I’ll deal with him too.” She grinned at Hinata who smiled back cautiously.

“Now, to work!” she said and drained her espresso shot.

 

Ino and Tenten walked down the street together. Ino thought it was a bit weird. She didn’t really talk to Tenten about anything other than when they were drunk and that stopped after high school. None of them got drunk anymore. Not even when they went out to clubs. They all had jobs they needed to be sober for. Ino sighed.

“What?” Tenten groaned. Ino knew very well that she hated dealing with all the girly stuff. But she told her anyway.

“I feel like our friendships aren’t as solid anymore.”

“Well if you’d apologize to Sakura then I wouldn’t have to keep pretending to take sides.” Tenten said. She hopped over a fire hydrant, careful not to spill her latte.

“What?” Ino stopped walking. “Are you saying that you’re only pretending to be friends with me right now?”

“No, you blithering idiot. I’m saying that I’m sick and tired of pretending that I agree with Sakura whenever I see her and I’m sick and fucking tired of listening to you whine about this bullshit.” Tenten turned and glared at her. “This isn’t even my problem and it occupies my brain for the better part of the day.”

Ino stared at her in silence, hating how what she said stuck under her skin. She knew she was right. She knew she could end this whole mess by apologizing but she was too stubborn to do it. And Sakura was too proud to come and make her apologize.

“I have half a mind to just kill both of you and put you out of my misery.” Tenten growled. She started walking again. “I am willing to put up with your stupidity if it means that Sakura and Hinata will finally have boyfriends, however. So hurry the hell up, we have some plotting to do.”

Ino picked up her pace. She shoved her doubt, anger and guilt away for a private moment later on. She had to help give her friends a life.

 

Karin waited until someone was exited the building before she went in. She didn’t want to have to ring the buzzer so she just caught the door with her foot before it closed all the way. She straightened her jacket and her hair and stuck her gloves into her purse. She was glad Christmas was over. It was always tricky with her parents around that time of year. There was no real reason she could give to get to her job on time. There were a surprisingly large number of single men at Christmas. And for some reason, instead of going to a bar where all the single women went with their friends, they went to feel lonely and pathetic at a strip club.

She walked up to the second floor and counted her way down the doors until she found 208. Checking her face in her compact one last time she knocked on the door.  
As the door swung open she found herself getting nervous.

You’re being stupid, she told herself. This guy is Sasuke’s friend and vital to the plan. Buck up!

“C’n I help you?” he asked. Hmm, answering the door with a beer. Classy.

“Yeah,” Karin said, breezing past him. She found herself making a bit more effort to be graceful. She shook it off and spun around, hands on her hips, eyes narrowed behind her glasses.

“What,” he glared, “do you want?”

“Listen well, O Annoying One.” She said primly. “I am enlisting your services for New Years. I have a plan that you are vital to.”

“What?”

“Oh God. I’m actually going to have to explain myself, aren’t I?” she muttered.

“Please do.” He said. He dragged his free hand through his shaggy white hair and kicked the door closed. “Have a seat.”

“Thanks,” Karin said. She plopped on his couch and stretched her legs out in front of her. She stretched her arms over her head and cracked her back. “Ahhhh,” she sighed.

“Jesus,” he said. “You’re like a cat.”

“Hmm,” Karin hummed and kicked her short boots off. She tucked her legs up under her and twisted on the couch to face him. “All right, Sharkbait, here’s the deal,” she said.

 

Suigetsu wasn’t really in the mood for visitors. That didn’t change when Sasuke’s crazy ass sister showed up and forced her way into his home. He didn’t appreciate it but Karin (or that Crazy Bitch as he privately called her) didn’t make exceptions for the way she treated people.

“So,” he leaned back in his chair, trying very hard not to look down Karin’s shirt. “You want me to kidnap Sasuke and drag him up to the Hyuuga’s cabin for New Years?”

“Yup.” She nodded.

“Are you out of your fucking mind?” he shouted. “Do you even-” he stopped and took a deep breath. “I’m not fucking suicidal.” He said eventually. This girl was obviously delusional.

“Well it wouldn’t really be kidnapping, per se.” she said, shuffling across the sofa. She leaned on the arm rest and pouted at him. “You’d only need to lure him out of the city. Once he’s on the highway then I’ll take over.”

“Here’s a crazy idea,” Suigetsu said, “Why don’t you just tell him that you want to go to the cabin with all your friends?”

“Are you kidding me? He’d never agree to that. In case you hadn’t noticed, he doesn’t exactly like people.”

“No kidding,” Suigetsu said into his beer. Karin was staring off into space. He assumed she was trying to come up with a way to convince him to help. There was no way he was agreeing to this bullshit.

“I GOT IT!” she screeched, leaping up off the couch. Suigetsu choked on his beer.

“What?” he gasped, trying to breathe.

“All we have to do is to get Sakura off work and get her to agree. If you act like you want Sakura to come in front of Sasuke then the moron can’t refuse!” Karin spun around. “I’m a genius!”

Suigetsu stared at the crazy dancing girl in his apartment. He didn’t get it.

“I don’t get it.”

Karin stopped dancing. She looked at him. She sighed and shook her head. He knew what was coming.

“Oh, my poor dim little boy.” She said. She sat down on the arm of his chair and flung her arm over his shoulders. “Let me explain this to you.”

“Here we go.”

“Sasuke, the Stupid One, has a thing for my dear little pal, Sakura, the Adorable One. The Stupid One does not wish to admit this fact to himself as he is a sworn ‘self-sexual’. The Adorable One likes the Stupid One for reasons unknown, but is heavily in denial. In order to bring the Adorable One and the Stupid One together you must flirt with the Adorable One in front of the Stupid One. And mention to the Stupid One in private that you think the Adorable One is funny/pretty/sexy or whatever to make him jelly. And when the Stupid One is jelly then he will come on this trip to make sure you don’t try to steal the Adorable One away from him.”

Suigetsu wondered if Karin knew this was all going in one ear and out the other. But he nodded anyway.

“And thus, we will win because the Stupid One is a possessive bastard.”

“So all I have to do is be a douche?” he asked.

“Yeah.” Karin patted him on the chest. She skipped to her shoes, seized her purse and  
dashed for the front door. “Don’t worry, honey. It’ll be easy. Just be yourself!” she grinned and slammed the door. Suigetsu threw his beer at it a second later. He could hear her laughing. Crazy Bitch.

 

Hinata loved the moment when she could step out of the hot dance studio on to the cold street and feel the cold air on her face. Her hair was tied back in a messy bun and strands were sticking to her neck and forehead. She rubbed the sleeves of her too-big grey sweater over her face, loosening the strands. She stretched her arms over her head and tugged her sweater down, keeping the cold air off her body. She listened to the pensive shuffle of her worn in leather boots against the salted pavement and shifted her dance bag on her shoulder. Her legs, in her dance tights, were cold, but she wasn’t far from the bus stop. She could tough it out until then. She dug around in her bag for her gloves. Her hands might not be able to make it there though.

“Damn!” she couldn’t find her gloves. In fact, she remembered throwing her grey gloves on her bed in her frantic search for her ballet pointe shoes. She swore again and stamped her foot. It was completely childish, but it helped her voice her frustration.

“Need a hand?” a man’s voice called. Hinata felt a chill up her spine. She recognized that voice. She turned around, heat rushing to her face.

“N-naruto-san!” she stammered. More blood rushed to her face. He grinned at her out the rolled down passenger window of his car.

“Where you headed? I’ll give you a ride.” He called.

“N-no, it’s f-fine.” She said.

“Don’t be silly! You’re freezing! Come on!” he called. He leaned over and pushed the door open. A wave of warm air rushed over Hinata’s cold knees. She shivered again and nodded. She climbed in.

“Here. Toss your bag in the back.” He took it from her and hefted it over his shoulder. “Whoa! What have you got in there? A few bricks?”

“J-just my gear,” she said. Her hands were almost frozen. She rubbed them together and blew on them.

“Here, just turn the heat up,” Naruto flipped the heat to high and grinned at her. “It’s wicked cold outside.”

Hinata nodded. She tried to speak as little as possible. Especially around him. She was afraid that he would notice her stutter. None of her friends stuttered when they were nervous. When Tenten was nervous she just muscled through it and when Sakura and Ino were nervous they giggled uncontrollably. Karin didn’t get nervous. But ever since she had been a child she had stuttered until her speech was almost unintelligible.

“So, where you headed?” Naruto grinned at her. She liked the way his eyes crinkled at the corners when he smiled.

“Um, N-north First and B-boundary.” She said quietly.

“Your wish is my command!” he said. He had the biggest smile she had ever seen. She smiled a little bit back.

 

Tenten wasn’t really afraid of commitment per se. She just liked to avoid it as much as possible whenever possible. So when her phone buzzed in the middle of a class she inwardly flinched when Neji’s name and number showed up on her screen. He was great to just be around and order around but he was a little too intense for daily contact. Especially since this was THE DAY AFTER (if you know what I mean). She ignored his call eight times in a row until, finally, she gave her class free time and went to the staff bathroom to answer the call.

“What!” she hissed.

“ _About time._ ” Neji sounded irritated. It made her slightly happier to hear that in his voice.

“Why are you calling me while I am working?”

“ _Did you have a hand in this little New Year’s getaway that Hinata is spinning off?_ ”

“If I say yes are you going to kill me?” Tenten decided not to wait for an answer. “Yes, because Sakura and that weird anti-social friend of yours she lives with need to get off. So we are planning this strategic group vacation to help give them a little nudge in the right direction.”

“ _So why do I have to be there?_ ”

“Because you are part of his group of friends. And we might need you to make things awkward so that he can rescue her or something. And plus, you’re a pussy so I know you’re going to do this anyway.”

“ _I’ll pick you up in my car._ ” He said. “ _Oh, and about last night-_ ”

Tenten casually hit the end call button. She didn’t really want to think about that right now. She hummed a little song in her head until it went away.

 

Ino was lying over the desk of the flower shop her parents bequeathed to her. She had one arm hanging down by her side, blood rushing to her fingers making them tingle. Playing softly through the radio was Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch. She turned her head over and stared at the speakers blankly. Ino could practically feel her brain turning to mush as the ‘good vibrations’ washed over her. She closed her eyes and dozed off for a bit.

_Ding. Ding._

Ino’s head shot up. She brushed herself off and wiped her eyes.

“Neji?” she said. This was surprising. He definitely wasn’t the kind of guy who went within twenty feet of a flower shop if he could help it. Yet here he was, walking right in.

“How can I help you?” she asked, confused.

“I need your advice.” He said. He looked a bit uncomfortable. Ino sighed. She hoped this wasn’t going to involve her hearing something she didn’t want to imagine.

“All right,” she said. She went to the door and out up the ‘back in an hour’ sign.

“What’s up?”

“What exactly is Tenten’s problem?”

"I’m sorry?” Ino turned around. She almost knocked over a vase. “What do you mean?”

Neji sighed, paced, and cleared his throat several times. Ino was starting to dread that this conversation was going in a veryveryvery personal direction. This was a place she wanted to avoid right now.

“Is there some particular reason she won’t make the standing of our relationship clear to me?” he sounded completely exasperated.

“Oh!” Ino said. She remembered that Karin had said something about Tenten having a boyfriend. She didn’t really believe her. “Wait, you mean Tenten hasn’t DTR’d?”

“DT- what?” Neji frowned.

“Defined the relationship.” Ino said. “So you guys aren’t dating?”

“That’s what I was hoping you could tell me.” Neji said. “She never wants to talk about anything. And every time I try to ask her to ‘define the relationship’ she changes the subject. And, on top of that, she doesn’t seem to want to be seen with me in public.”

“That’s what we call ‘terrified of commitment.” Ino said sagely. She plucked a few flowers from an arrangement and braided the thin stems together. “Also known as ‘Tenten Syndrome’. It basically means that because she had to grow up with a single parent who never seemed to be able to pull herself together, Tenten hasn’t ever made a commitment to anything. She doesn’t even have a credit card.”

Ino could see Neji gritting his teeth at her long winded explanation. “Is there any way to get around that particular barrier?”

“Oh, of course there is.” Ino said. She smiled in an infuriating way.

“And that would be?” Neji ground out. Ino was thoroughy enjoying herself. But it was time to get serious. Tenten could possibly be sane if she was having seconds thoughts about a hottie like Neji. Who just so happened to be rich, powerful, and a big success.

“Prove to her that you’re not going to ever leave her.” Ino said. She slipped the braided flowers into the pencil pot by the cash. “But only if you know you’re going to want to stay.”

The only sound after that was the sound of the bell ringing and the door swinging shut. Ino smiled to herself. Who knew that Tenten would have picked the setting for her very own romantic getaway? She couldn’t wait to tell Kiba.

 

Kiba rolled his shoulder back and hung up his white coat. “Hana, I’m heading home now!” he called to his sister. “You okay to close up?”

“Yeah,” she called back. “Go tell your girlfriend to apologize to her friend and tell Sasuke to make Naruto stop calling to give me a play by play. I don’t give a fuck about any of this.”

Kiba rolled his eyes. Naruto was such a random person. “Yeah, I’ll let them know.” He kissed his sister on the cheek. “Say hi to Mom for me and tell her I’ll be around for dinner tomorrow.”

“You’d better be around for dinner or she’s going to kill you.” Hana said. She waved him off and locked the door of the Inuzuka Veterinary Clinic behind him. Kiba shivered and tugged the sleeves of his jacket down over his hands. Damn global warming was fucking up the weather. It was probably going to snow and his car was still in the shop getting new breaks and winter tires. He stamped his feet, pulled his sleeves down again and started walking four blocks to his new apartment.

While he was walking he passed the hospital and he remembered that Sakura used to live in that apartment. He felt bad about her being kicked out, but not as bad as he felt for her getting stuck with Sasuke and Naruto. And when Ino dropped the bomb on him that they were planning a trip to get Sakura, sweet, caring, slightly crazy Sakura together with cold, cruel, stoic Sasuke he actually laughed. Until he realized that she was serious. Then he had to explain why this was the most hilarious, disastrous idea ever. Because Karin was wrong. Sasuke didn’t love anything, let alone that little pink haired doctor, no matter how much spunk she had. But he’d agreed to go on this trip because there was a small chance that Ino was right, and honestly, he’d like to be proven wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this during my Paramore phase, as evidenced by the title of this chapter haha. That's a pretty good song tho.


	8. Night Drive

Sasuke was exhausted. That asshole, Suigetsu had called in ‘sick’ today and saddled him with all the upstart trainees. It wasn’t enough that he hated his job, but he had to suffer through it alone. At least when that bastard came to work as well he had someone to intimidate the shrimps with. He sorted through his keys until he found the small silver one that opened his apartment door. He could hear Sakura’s laugh as he pushed the door open.

“I’m back,” he mumbled. Sakura looked up and grinned at him.

“Hey! How was work?” she asked. She was awfully chipper.

“Fine,” he said. Karin danced out of the kitchen with two beers in her hands. She was dancing to music only she could hear, which was pretty much the way she lived her life. She flung herself down on the couch and dropped the bottle opener from her teeth into her lap.

“Sharkbait,” she shouted. “I found the beer!”

“All right!” The toilet flushed and a few seconds later Suigtesu dashed out. He was definitely not sick. Fucker.

“So, Sakura,” Suigetsu sat next to her and tossed one arm over the back of the sofa. He looked at her and grinned. “What would you say to a few days off work?”

“I wouldn’t say no,” Sakura said. She looked interested. Sasuke managed to bury his growl deep in his chest and walked to the kitchen, doing his best to contain his urge to strangle his asshole friend. “Why?”

“Well,” Sasuke wanted to murder that bastards smug, smooth talking ass. He wanted to cut his stomach open and strangle him with his own guts. “Some of us were thinking it would be, you know, fun to get out of the city for New Years. What do you say?”

“Who is ‘us’?” Sakura asked. Sasuke leaned his forehead against the kitchen wall, listening intently.

“Well, us girls and the boys. I guess you can come if you want to Sasu-face.” Karin said loudly.

“I don’t!” Sasuke said back. He didn’t move from his spot. He wasn’t into going places with groups of people, but he did hate the city and his job…hmmm.

“Think it over, Sakura,” Suigetsu said smoothly. Sasuke could just imagine the slick smirk that bastard had on his face right now. Sakura was probably dying for New Years now. He sighed quietly. Charming bastard.

“We’re gonna head. Sharkbait’s giving me a ride to work,” Karin said.

“Aw, already? But you guys just got here!” Sakura said. Sasuke watched her follow them to the door from his spot in the kitchen. She waved good bye to the two home wreckers and shut the door. Sasuke left his place by the wall for the fridge. Sakura came in and sat on the counter. She swung her feet up to rest on the kitchen table so he would either have to duck under her or jump over her to leave the kitchen.

“What?” he asked. He uncapped his water and took a drink, polishing his apple on his t-shirt.

“Do you really not want to go?” she asked.

“Nope.”

“Well, why not?” she asked. Sasuke couldn’t decide it her tone was coaxing or condescending.

“I like the city,” he said. Deciding that he didn’t really want to lift her off the counter just so he could get to the couch, he lowered his mildly battered body into a chair at the table. Sakura let her legs drop.

“No you don’t. You were just complaining about it yesterday when you took me for groceries.” She said. “Besides, don’t you think it would be fun?”

Sasuke stared at her. She stared at him. Then she snorted.

“Oh, sorry. I forgot who I was talking to for a minute.” She gave him a sardonic look. “You don’t do fun.”

“I can do fun.” He bristled. “I just prefer not to.”

“Your life must be fascinating.” She drawled, swinging her legs. “Give me a good reason why you don’t want to go,” she insisted.

“Why? Do you want to go?”

“Yeah, I do. I worked Christmas. I want New Year’s off. Besides, I almost never see Hinata and Tenten anymore. And you’re friends are fun. Not that you would know it.”

Sasuke knew what she was doing. She was needling him, making him angry enough to agree to this just to shut her up. She was pushing his buttons. He really wished she wasn’t so damn good at it.

“And,” Sakura tucked her hair behind on ear. She glanced at him before hopping off the counter. “I think it would be fun if you came along too.”

Sasuke sat there for a long time after she walked out of the kitchen. He was still there when Naruto came back home. And he was still there when his two roommates celebrated the trip to Neji’s family cabin. He hadn’t actually made a decision until Naruto was in the shower and Sakura was in her room, sorting through her laundry before dinner.

“Fine,” he said, standing in her doorway.

“What?”

“I’ll go on the stupid trip.”

“Really?” Sakura jumped up off her bed. “Why did you change your mind?”

“Like hell I’m letting you or the Dobe drive. You’d kill everyone.”

“Hey! I’m not that bad of a driver!” Sakura whacked his arm. Okay.

…

…

…

WHAT THE FUCK! THAT HURT!!!!!! Clearly the girl didn’t know her own strength. Sasuke swore inside his head but maintained an outward cool.

“I let you drive yesterday and you nearly ran three people over. We hadn’t even left the apartment parking lot.” He pointed out. Sakura glared.

“I can drive.” She said haughtily.

“Sure you can.” Sasuke ducked out of the way when she swung her fist at him again.

“Fuck you.”

“Oh, wow.” He raised an eyebrow. She almost never swore. “I’m definitely not letting you drive now.”

“I can drive!” Sakura stomped her foot. Sasuke smirked.

“Not with that road rage.” He slammed his bedroom door before the plastic laundry basket hit him in the face.

 

Three days before New Year’s Sakura was packed and ready to go. Karin smirked smugly as Tenten ‘arranged’ for Neji to drive them, forcing Sakura to transfer herself to the other car with Sasuke. For the whole ten hour drive. Karin had to admit, for someone who was afraid of commitment, Tenten was pretty committed to making Neji her bitch. She also didn’t think it was a good idea for Ino and Sakura to be in the same car together for extended periods of time. Between Ino’s bitchiness and Sakura’s temper it was pretty much like asking to die. So Sakura was stuck in what they dubbed ‘the Man-mobile’. And Karin felt bad for ditching her there…but not bad enough to offer to switch. As much as she liked the boys, she wanted to observe Tenten and Neji’s relationship. After Ino told her about the flower shop therapy session, she had to make sure that this worked out. After all, Neji was completely respectable, which is exactly what Tenten was not. So clearly, they were perfect for  
each other.

 

Sakura was leaning up against the window in the back seat of Kiba’s van. The dog,  
Akamaru, was taking up about half the trunk, wagging his tail into her ear. She flinched as she shaggy tail whacked her in the side of the head again then twisted to look at the big dog.

“Akamaru,” she said firmly. He turned his big brown eyes on her. “Sit.” He licked her nose and lay down.

“Ha ha! Good job.” Kiba said. “He’s never going to leave you alone now.”

“He can bother me as much as he wants when we get there, as long as he stops hitting me in the head with his tail while we’re driving.” She said. She was wedged in the back seat with Suigetsu, and Kiba. Naruto had called shotgun and Sasuke was driving. She pulled her legs up into tailor position and looked back out the window. They were still on the boring old freeway, with miles of cars and industrial buildings whipping past. There wasn’t anything to look at. So she turned her attention to the  
occupants of the car.

Kiba was definitely nice. And she knew he felt horrible about her getting kicked out because of him. But she didn’t really blame him. Or Ino for that matter. She would kick her girls out if it meant she could come home to someone like that.

Her eyes drifted to Sasuke for a second.

STOP IT! She mentally slapped herself. No, I do NOT think of him like that. Stop it now!

And then there was Naruto. He was such a sweetie. Not to mention a perfect gentleman. And she could tell that he had a little bit of a crush on Hinata. Karin had confided her/Tenten/Ino’s plan to set the two of them up. She grinned; Neji was not going to like that.

And then there was Suigetsu. He was slick, charming and completely not her type. But she could see how he would be good for Karin. He had just enough ego to keep Karin entertained for days. And even though she had seen them get into fights over the stupidest things (who stole whose seat on the couch, which ended in them throwing things at each other) she just knew that they were a match. Maybe not the best match, but someone had to fall in love with Karin.

And then there was Neji. Oh Neji. that poor guy was completely hung up on Tenten, who probably didn’t even notice. She sighed. She felt pretty bad for him, falling for Tenten, but then again, Tenten wasn’t the kind of girl you fell for. He had to be serious about her; otherwise he wouldn’t be sticking out all her weird mood swings.

Sakura yawned and unfolded her legs. She leaned up against the window again and dozed off. They had left at six thirty in the morning and even though it was almost noon she was still tired.

_SAK. SAK. SAK. SAK. SAK. SAK. SAK. SAK._

“Ugh,” Sakura jerked awake and fumbled around in her bag for her phone. “What Karin?”

“ _Oh, it’s Tenten._ ”

“What?” Sakura asked. “Why are you calling me from Karin’s phone? What’s wrong with yours?”

“ _Oh, I know that the ring tone pisses you off. And Karin is using my phone to play solitaire._ ”

“Oh god. Okay, why are you calling?”

“ _We’re pulling over to get food. Join us, O Small One,_ ” Tenten said.

“I’m not small-” Sakura stopped talking. Tenten had hung up. “Bitch.” She muttered.

“Sasuke, pull over, they’re getting food up ahead.”

“Hn,” Sasuke grunted. Sakura rolled her eyes. She had no idea what his problem was, but apparently he had entirely given up on speaking altogether.

 

“Foof,” Ino said. She sat down on a greasy MacDonald’s bench and looked around her. She normally never ate fast food, but since they had salads here she was giving in just this once. She noticed that only Hinata had ordered salad other than her. Sakura was tapping her toe at the counter, waiting for her grilled chicken sandwich and Karin was, typically, mooching off her brother and his friend with the white hair…whatshisface.  
Tenten was digging into her burger with reckless abandon, clearly relishing every bite. There were times when she was extremely feminine, like when she was wearing her tight sports gear for teaching. And then there were times like this. Ino really didn’t know how Neji managed to put up with her weirdness. But then again, he did put up with Hinata’s dad, which pretty much made him the most tolerant guy on the planet. Because, no offense to Hinata, but her dad was kind of an asshole.

Ino rolled her head back and looked at the people rest of the group. Naruto was sitting next to Hinata, chatting idly; Kiba was next to her, glancing out at the car every few seconds to check on his dog. He had fries on his plate.

“Oh, great! You know I can’t eat fries!” she said, swiping some off his tray.

Sakura slid into her seat next to Sasuke with her sandwich and drink.

“Oh great! You know I can’t eat fries!” she said. Sasuke just stared at her as she helped herself to his fries. Then he calmly lifted them and moved them to the other side of his tray.

“Stop that.” he said. Sakura stared at him, eyes widening. Slowly, with practiced precision, her lip jutted forward just enough to make her irresistibly adorable and she lowered her eyes, and turned to face front. It was the classic Sakura Sulk; a weapon no one could survive.

Ino popped another fry in her mouth as she watched Sasuke look up and the ceiling and sigh. It was a Heaven Help Me sigh. Then he picked up his fries and moved them back. Sakura grinned.

 

Was it wrong that her pout turned him on? It wasn’t necessarily the action (annoying) but more the way she executed it. it didn’t help that he already thought her lips looked delicious. He looked up at the ceiling, more than anything, to avoid looking at her. And just because her big green eyes were so sad, and her full lips were driving him mad, he relented and gave her his fries. He just had to trust that everyone else was too busy slaking their hunger to notice what was going on with him under the table.

“So, uh, Sasuke,” Sakura said. She was actually eating her own food now.

“Hn.” He found that not talking to her made her less…enticing.

“I can drive later if you don’t want to.”

“Naruto’s driving.” He said, stiffly (hahahaha!)

“I thought you said Naruto was a bad driver.” She said, glaring.

“Only in my car.”

“Fuck you man! I don’t want that idiot crashing this truck.” Kiba said. “I need to give to back to Shikamaru.”

Sasuke snorted. Who gave a fuck about Shikamaru. The pussy got married and moved to Suna anyway.

“You’re an asshole.” Sakura said. She accidentally on purpose knocked his fries into his lap and turned to talk to Tenten and Neji.

Sasuke glared at her and brushed the fries off his lap (bad idea, bad idea). He shoved his chair back and went to the bathroom to cool off. This was going to be an  
incredibly long trip.

Naruto had only been driving for a couple hours when his caffeine buzz wore off. So he pulled over and turned around to Sakura. She was busy checking the time on her cell phone. It was almost five and they were only about half way there.

“Hey, Sakura-chan!” Naruto whispered. The whole car, other than the two of them, was asleep.

“Hmm?” she asked. It was getting dark outside her window. And the highway traffic was starting to thin out. No one wanted to drive at night in winter. It was pretty risky.

“You said you wanted to drive, right?” he asked. Sakura perked up. She didn’t really care if it was risky to drive. She just wanted to get out of the backseat for a while.

“Are you tired?” she asked him. He nodded. “Okay, but just for a while.” She decided. She slipped out of the backseat and into the drivers, then pulled off the shoulder into the fast lane. In the rear view mirror Naruto rested his head against the window and went to sleep.

It was almost eight at night and pitch black on the highway. Ever since she had followed Neji’s car off exit 56 the lights on the highway became more and more scarce. Sakura lifted one hand off the wheel to rub her eyes. It was peacefully quiet in the car, only the steady sound of breathing to keep her company as she drove. It had started to snow about an hour ago, sending fluffy white flakes into the windshield. Every so often she flinched and blinked. This snow was making her jumpy. Maybe she should wake someone up and let them drive for a while. Just as she thought that a deer appeared on the road in front of her. Sakura yelped and slammed the brakes down. The deer leapt away seconds before the car screeched to a halt barely inches from where it had been standing.

“Holy, shit.” Sakura muttered. She leaned back against the headrest and caught her breath. Her heart was racing, pounding against she ribs in a painful way. She took a few deep breaths and stared out at the empty highway around her. They were in mountain territory now.

“Get out. I’ll drive.” Sasuke said in his usual monotonous voice.

“Hhh!” Sakura gasped, hand flying to her heart. “Jesus Christ! Sasuke, you can’t do that to me!”

“Do what?” he asked.

“Startle me like that. I wasn’t expecting it.”

“Kind of like you weren’t expecting that deer?” he said. “You’re tired, let me drive.”

Sakura looked over her shoulder. The other three were still asleep. Apparently not even almost making a deer road kill could phase them.

“Let me drive,” Sasuke said again. Sakura sighed and got out of the car. She switched places with Sasuke and settled back. If driving in the snow freaked him out he sure didn’t show it. It was relaxing actually. Nice and calm.

“Sakura,” he said.

“Yeah?”

“Talk.”

“What?”

“Talk. I need you to talk so that I don’t fall asleep.” He said like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“If you’re tired then why are you driving?” she asked.

“Because I’m not the one who almost ran over a deer.”

“Key word there: almost.” Sakura pointed out.

“Yeah, whatever,” Sasuke tightened his grip on the steering wheel. “Now talk.”

“Ugh, fine. What should I talk about?”

Sakura waited for a second while Sasuke thought about that.

“Why won’t you forgive Ino?” he asked.

Oh.

Oh. No.

Oh. No. He. Didn’t.

“What?” Sakura hissed.

“You don’t seem to have a problem living with us, and you don’t hate her otherwise you wouldn’t have come on this trip, so why don’t you just forgive her?”

Geezus. Sasuke could sure talk A LOT when he wanted to. About things she didn’t want to talk about. Asshole.

“I don’t want to talk about this.” Sakura snapped.

“Fine, then talk about something you do want to talk about. Just keep me awake.” Sasuke shot back. Sakura could feel irritation fizzling under her skin. But she talked anyway, because she liked it when deer were alive as opposed to being stuck to the front of her car.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, the New Years chapters I started writing at Christmas but didn't post until after the New Year started bc I am lazy


	9. Moose X-ing

Sakura got out of the car. The Hyuuga family cabin was more like a lakeside mansion made out of logs. The only thing that didn’t fit was the plaque bearing the cabin’s name. Sakura raised an eyebrow and whack Neji on the arm. She pointed at the sign.

Moose Xing.

“Seriously? Moose Crossing?” she asked, “Really? That is what your uncle decided to name your mountain lake mansion?”

“Yes,” Neji nodded. He looked at the sign ruefully. “He’s oddly fond of moose. There are quite a few in this area I believe.”

“Hmm,” Sakura hummed and lugged her bag up onto her shoulder. “Well, at least it’s not bears.”

“H-hurry up!” Hinata called. “The h-heat is g-going to escape!”

Sakura trudged inside. Her boots crunched against the gravel. The lake behind her was a frigid black. She shivered and stepped into the golden glow of the warm foyer.

“S-so, Ino and K-karin, you two h-have rooms at the end of t-the hall.” Hinata said. Sakura noticed that she was blushing a bit. She frowned, but decided to ask about it later when there were less people around. Hinata was easily embarrassed. “And S-sakura and Tenten are upstairs over-looking t-the lake.”  
Sakura grinned at Tenten.

“We get the lake.”

“Oh goody.” Tenten said icily. Sakura looked at Hinata, bewildered. Hinata shrugged. ‘I’ll tell you later’ she mouthed. Sakura nodded. There was probably some mishap in the car. Not that she was surprised.

 

Sasuke pushed the door to his room open. The room was a perfect square, with a door in the wall across from the bed and one adjacent to it. Sasuke opened the one adjacent and dropped his bag on the floor of the closet. He opened his curtains and leaned on the window frame, looking out at the cold outdoors. Kiba was outside pulling Akamaru away from the lake and toward the back of the cabin. He sighed. Why was he here again?

“Teme,” Naruto walked right in without knocking, as usual. “We’re going into town to pick up some stuff. Want to come?”

“Hn,” Sasuke turned around. “No. But make sure to pick up some of the good shit.”

“Ah, the good shit. Good call.” Naruto saluted him and left, leaving the door hanging open. Sakura rolled his eyes and went to close it. Sakura walked around the corner and pulled up short at the sight of him.

“This is not the room with the giant TV.” She said.

“No.” Sasuke agreed.

“Well now I’m just lost.” Sakura said. She turned around. “Hang on, you’re not going to town to supervise the buying of the liquor?”

“The Dobe knows what to buy.” He said. Sakura nodded like she didn’t believe him.

“Right,” she said. “Well, I’m going to find the TV and then find the hot chocoloate.”  
Sasuke watched her walk down the hall. Her tights were tucked into her socks and her shirt clung to her body. He shook his head and slammed his door on the image of her hips swaying down the hall. Too bad he couldn’t shut certain images of her out of his brain just as easily.

 

Karin was lying on her stomach on her bed staring at the wall. She was rarely bored, but right now she felt like crying in boredom. Not only did she hate Nature but she hated cabins. And now she was in a cabin surrounded by Nature and she was miserable. Yes, this was a mission to get her best friends to stop being mopey, single losers, but that didn’t mean she had to love the venue. And she didn’t. She hated with every fibre of her being. And on top of being surrounded by Nature she was completely horny. Getting her friends hooked up completely absorbed all her time for herself. She rolled over and glared at the ceiling. Tugging off her glasses and tossing them onto her bedside table she stretched her arms above her head and arched her back. She kind of missed the pounding beat of the speakers and the dark interior of the club. But mostly she missed the bright spotlight and admiring eyes of the stage.

She sat up suddenly. She had a wicked grin painted on her face. Ino had gone into town to get supplies with the boys and Hinata. Tenten was somewhere in the depths of the house and her anti-Neji despair and Sakura was probably sleeping. She grabbed the landline handset next to her bed and dialled Ino.

“Hey, while you’re in town do you want to check the local listings for any places with good music?” she asked. “I feel like going out tonight.”

Karin hung up a minute later when Ino had found a good spot. Then she went to her bags and began to sort through her clothes. Let’s see, what outfit will get me the most attention tonight? She wondered.

 

“WHAT?” Tenten shouted. Her voice echoed around the house. In fact, a few roosting birds outside the window were startled into flight. Sakura winced. And people said she had a short temper.

“Karin and Ino want to go dancing.” She said again, weakly.

“And it follows, of course, that the rest of us get dragged along as well.” Tenten had a dangerous look on her face. Sakura swore and cursed Karin to the deepest circle of hell of making her tell Tenten they were going out.

“But it should be fun, right? I mean we never do go out much anymore and we’re on vacation.” She said. Talking to Tenten when she was in a mood was taking your life into your own hands. “Besides, you hate being cooped up. Isn’t that why you live in a loft?” Sakura could sense Tenten caving. She pressed her a little harder. “And it would give you a chance to get away from Neji.”

Bam. That was it.

“Fine,” Tenten said. “But I’m only doing this so that I can keep an eye on you and Mr. Crabby over there.” She nodded at Sasuke. Sakura frowned.

“Why would you need to keep an eye on us?”

Tenten blinked. “What?” she asked. “What are we going to wear? I’ve never been to a mountain club before.”

“Something warm,” Sakura said, ignoring her feeling that Tenten was deflecting from something. “It’s not actually a club. It’s a gathering of people around a campfire in the woods with lots of alcohol.”

“I feel like I should be bringing some weed to this.” Tenten muttered.

“I’m sure someone will,” Sasuke said. He was sprawled on the couch. His book was resting on his chest. Sakura snorted. She was sitting on the arm of the couch near his head. Tenten propped her fists on her hips and glared at them both. Sakura raised her eyebrows.

“Fine, so what are we going to wear?” she finally asked. Sakura hopped up.

“I think Karin is taking care of that. We should probably go see her.” Sakura clasped her hands behind her back. Sasuke turned his head to look at her.

“You’re trusting Karin to dress you?” he asked. Sakura shrugged.

“She has excellent winter clothes. And besides, only Karin can get Tenten into the mood for this.” She added in a low voice. Tenten turned around at the door.

“I thought we were going to go see the Mistress of Clothes?”

“Yeah,” Sakura said. She followed Tenten out the door to the hall. “Sasuke, you’re not excused from this.” She called back.

“Fuck.” Sasuke muttered. Sakura smirked.

 

Karin was wildly enjoying herself. She was almost dancing around her room. Tenten was sifting through her wardrobe and Sakura was changing in the bathroom. Karin didn’t bother with the bathroom. She just pulled her layers off and put different ones on in the middle of her room. Tenten had made her close the curtains.

“Oh, here, put this on.” She tossed Tenten a rust orange button up tank top. Tenten caught it and pulled it on overtop of her two shirts. Karin fluffed her hair in congratulations to herself. The outfit she had cobble together for Tenten out of all her girls combined wardrobes was perfect. The dark jeans and light tan boots were excellent but her favourite part was the top half. Karin had expertly (if she did say so herself) paired and layered a dark green top, an off white top and the rust tank top. Tenten had refused to go without a jacket, but Karin didn’t really care. Tenten only  
owned one jacket and Hinata had picked it out for her so obviously it was nice.

“Sakura, get out here! I refuse to be tortured alone!” Tenten shouted.

“You are being tortured alone! I actually enjoy this stuff.” Sakura shouted back. She opened the bathroom door and struck a dramatic pose against the doorframe. “Hey, babe.” She said in her sexiest voice.

“Ew, never say that to me again.” Tenten threw a glove at her.

“HA!” Karin cackled. “I’m a genius!”

Sakura smoothed her outfit. Kairn proudly surveyed her work. Sakura was wearing her boots, Hinata’s grey tights and long socks but she was wearing her own long sleeved cotton shirt with extra shirts underneath and thick wool vest for warmth.

“And what are you going to wear?” Sakura asked. Karin pulled off her robe dramatically. “Wow.” Sakura said.

“Damn.” Tenten whistled.

Karin looked at herself in the mirror. If she did say so herself, her dark jeans, soft grey boots and multiple layers of long sleeves with a down filled vest made her look fabulous. Especially when she had her hair down and her toque on.

“Whoever you’re trying to impress is going to have a hard time keeping away from you tonight.” Sakura said. She brushed out her hair and started to braid it into a thick rope hanging over her shoulder. “Here, Tenten.” She tossed her a hair elastic.  
Tenten twisted her long brown hair up into a ponytail and turned to look at the other two. “What time are we going?”

“We’re going when Hinata and Ino are done and get over here.” Karin twisted her hair around her fingers under her toque to make it curl more. She took one look in the mirror and blew herself a kiss. She was getting laid tonight.

 

Ino sat down on a log next to Sasuke. The fire crackled and warmed her knees through her pants. She was holding her beer between gloved hands.

“You and I need to have a little chat.” She said. Sasuke looked at her. He raised his beer to his lips and sipped it before turning his attention to her.

“You,” she pointed at him with her beer, “need to watch yourself.”

“What?” Sasuke asked.

“I saw you in McDonalds. I saw you rushing off to the bathroom. I see you staring at Sakura dancing with someone else over my shoulder seething with jealousy right now.” Ino snapped her fingers in front of his eyes. “Pay attention. What I am saying is important.”

“Why do you care if I stare at her or not?” he snapped. Ino punched him in the shoulder.

“Because I’m her best friend. I’ve known her since diapers.” Ino put her beer down and turned on the log all the way. The fire threw warmth over her side.

“You two aren’t even speaking to each other.” Sasuke pointed out.

“Doesn’t matter.” Ino said. “I’m her best friend no matter what. And you, my friend, need to watch your step with her.”

Sasuke frowned. “What are you getting at?”

“Sakura isn’t like Karin or me or Tenten. Hell, she isn’t even like Hinata. She’s headstrong, short-tempered and way too good for you.” Ino held up her finger to keep Sasuke from interrupting. “Now, I’m not blind or stupid, so I already know that you are, at the very least, physically attracted to her. But here’s the thing: Sakura isn’t the kind of girl to just be happy with being a one night stand. So don’t go getting any ideas about that. If you try anything I will rip your balls off.”

Sasuke blinked and jerked his head back slightly. Ino gave him a vicious smirk. Not as nice to talk to as she was to look at, eh?

“So, you had better figure out if you only want her body or if you want her for life. Because if it’s the former then you don’t have just me to worry about.” Now that she had sufficiently terrified him out of trying to use Sakura, Ino picked up her beer and smiled brightly. “I enjoyed having this little talk with you.”

 

Neji was having difficulty keeping track of Tenten. That girl was not only scared of commitment but now she also seemed to be scared of him. This was something that was starting to get on his nerves. He tipped his beer back and then threw the bottle in the fire. Somewhere behind him Karin had found the boom box and pumped up the super bass. He knew that Suigetsu would be right in there with the other rich partiers who had cabins on the mountains. That was why Neji tried to avoid the mountain lodge as much as possible. Those people were so tiresome, only interested in doing things that they thought would impress other people.

“Oh lordy,” Sakura muttered nearby. He looked over his shoulder in the direction she was looking. Tenten was there, dancing, right in the thick of things. And he couldn’t believe who she was dancing with. Well, it wasn’t really dancing, it was more like sex with clothes on. And some obnoxious ass in a plaid shirt was the one Tenten had decided to wrap her body around.

Neji felt a surge of anger toward him and wished he had held onto his beer bottle so he could throw it at that offensive insects head.

“Oh my God!” Hinata appeared at his shoulder. He blinked in surprise. She didn’t stutter and had a look of total fury in her eyes.

“What?”

“What the hell do you think you’re doing!” she snapped. Neji shook himself. He had forgetten how intense Hinata was when she was angry.

“I’m not sure what you’re getting at.” He said carefully.

“You get over there right now!”

“Or what?” Neji wasn’t one to be pushed around easily.

“Or I will personally see to it that Hanabi gets her paws on those photos of you when you were a kid. And you know which ones I’m talking about.” Hinata threatened. Neji stared at her for a second. “GO!” she shouted.

“Yes ma’am.” He muttered, diving into the fray.

 

“You’re awfully quiet.” Sakura sat next to Sasuke on a log. The party had moved further away and another fire pit had been lit up. Karin was visible, a whirling dervish among the seemingly sluggish bodies. “Not that this is anything new.” Sasuke shrugged.

“So, what’s up?” Sakura asked.

“Not much.” Sasuke answered. He tipped his beer back. A thin trickle drained out of it.

He sighed and dropped the bottle on the ground. He hated it when he ran out of alcohol. But then again, maybe it wasn’t a good idea to be around Sakura while he was inebriated.

“Seriously? That’s what you’re going to give me?” she asked.

“I hate parties.” He said. Sakura placed a hand on his shoulder.

“You didn’t have to come you know.”

“Yeah.”

“No, seriously. If you don’t like it then don’t do it. How do you think I ended up being a neurosurgeon?”

“What?” Sasuke looked at her. This was a completely unrelated topic.

“In med school. I chose neurosurgeon over OB/GYN.”

“I don’t see how this relates.” Sasuke said.

“Yeah,” Sakura nodded slowly. “I’m a bit drunk.” She added in defense. Sasuke snorted. Sakura whacked him on the arm. The smoke from the fire shifted with the light breeze, blowing it towards them. Sakura blinked, her eyes watering. Sasuke  
noticed her discomfort.

“Let’s go for a walk.” He said. Sakura looked at him.

“You hate walks. Every time I want to go for a walk you always make me take Naruto instead.” Sakura said. Sasuke wanted to roll his eyes (something he refused to do in public because it looked ridiculous), but instead he grabbed Sakura’s hand and pulled her up.

“You like walks, right?” he said and started walking. He heard Sakura running to catch up.

 

Tenten was having a good old drunken time. She was actually starting to forget her earlier fight with Neji in the car. She was having fun.

Until someone grabbed her arm and said, very curtly: “May I cut in?” before dragging her off to the woods. She felt a bit disappointed. Whoever she was dancing with (she couldn’t remember his name for the life of her) was going to be missed.

“What?” she snapped, yanking her arm out of Neji’s grip. She wanted to kick him in the shins. But that was juvenile.

“Ouch! What the fuck was that for?”

Just because it was juvenile didn’t mean she wasn’t going to do it.

“You’re an ass.” She said evenly.

“Why?” he asked.

“I was having fun!” Tenten didn’t care that she sounded like she was pouting. She was reallyreallyreally pissed off. Who the hell did he think he was anyway!

“Really? You were having fun, throwing yourself all over that…that…”

“Excuse me? ‘Throwing myself all over’?” Tenten clenched her fists. “What are you trying to say? Are you calling me a slut?”

“What?” Neji stared at her. “No!”

“Then,” Tenten asked, her voice dangerously low. She narrowed her eyes and closed in on Neji. “What are you trying to say.”

“I-I-” Neji shook his head.

“Fine,” Tenten turned and started to walk away.

“I was jealous!” Neji said loudly. Tenten stopped, but didn’t turn around.

“I was jealous of that son of a bitch.” He said. Tenten heard him walk over to her. He was standing so close behind her.

“Why?”

“Don’t you-” Neji broke off. “Do you really not know why?”

“If you’re so smart why don’t you tell me?” Tenten snapped, spinning around. “Go ahead! Tell stupid, idotic, slutty Tenten why.”

“If you’re going to be ridiculous about this then I’m not going to bother.” Neji said curtly.

“Oh, no! No way. Get back here!” Tenten grabbed his shoulder and wrenched him around. Their eyes met for a split second before his lips crashed onto hers.

 

They had been walking in silence for a while. Sakura was feeling a bit uncomfortable. She didn’t know why though. Silences with Sasuke were usually comfortable and normal. She felt very tense walking alone the mountain path with him. He was walking very close to her, his arm occasionally brushing hers. She felt an odd twinge in her stomach every time it happened.

“Why are you mad at Ino?”He asked.

“What?” Sakura jerked out of her reverie.

“Why are you mad at her? I thought you were best friends?”

“We are.” She said.

“Then why are you mad at her?”

“I told you both when I moved in. She kicked me out for no good reason and then  
acted like it was nothing.”

“So tell her you want an apology.” Sasuke said. Sakura glared at him. He was treating this like it wasn’t a big deal.

“Stop that.” he said. She glared more. “Sakura…” he said warningly.

“What business is it of your anyway?” she snapped. Who did he think he was, nosing into her business like this?!

“I don’t know,” he said. “Maybe I just don’t like seeing you fight with your best friend. It kind of sucks.”

“Oh, and you would know, of course.” Sakura said sarcastically. She folded her arms, shoving her hands deep into her vest to warm them up.

“I just think that she might be a better friend than you think.”

“We’re done discussing this.” Sakura said.

“Just go talk to her-”

“I said: we’re done.” Sakura said frostily.

They didn’t talk the rest of the way back to the cabin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just really wanted to bring moose into this. I'm from Canada, ok? We have those majestic fuckers here.
> 
> Also, I just realized that my chapter lengths are very consistent. All of these, except the first chapter, have been like 10 pages. I am strangely proud of this arbitrary uniformity. And wow some of the slang I use in this is old af.


	10. Fireside Fella

Hinata shifted uncomfortably. Sitting on the couch in front of the fire wedged next to a very angry Sakura and a frigid Sasuke was more than a little nerve wracking. She twisted her hands in her lap and looked anywhere but next to her. It was New Year’s Eve and she was miserable.

She dragged her gaze away from the ceiling then blushed. Naruto was watching her. He had a slight frown on his face. She watched him as he got up out of his chair and walked over to her couch.

“Oi, Teme.” Nartuo whacked Sasuke’s leg. “Move over.” Hinata crossed her legs and shifted over. Sakura shot Sasuke a glare and he moved. Hinata gave Naruto a weird look. He shrugged and sat down next to her. When he was next to her Hinata let out a quiet sigh of relief. He grinned at her and casually flung his arm over the back of the couch. He did the same thing to Sasuke and grinned cheekily at his best friend. Sasuke gave him a disgusted look and got up. Naruto grinned him out of the room. The tension dropped to almost nothing. Nartuo turned to Hinata.

“Better?” he asked quietly. She nodded. She could still feel the blood rushing to her face. He was talking in a low voice, leaning closer to her.

“So, Hinata-chan,” he said. Hinata’s face burned.

“Y-yes?” she asked, barely above a whisper.

“Are you having a good time?”

“H-here?”

“Yeah, on this trip.”

“W-well, I-” she glanced at Sakura. Naruto frowned. “Let’s make some t-tea.” She said. She got up off the couch, accidentally brushing Naruto’s leg as she got up. He looked up at her then followed.

“We’re making tea,” he said, “Anyone want?”  
A chorus of no’s followed as Hinata walked to the kitchen, trying desperately to keep  
her heart from beating out of her chest.

“So, what’s bothering you?” Naruto asked, getting out two mugs from the cupboard above the sink. He did his best to hold back a grin when Hinata blushed as their fingers brushed. He liked the way electricity seemed to spark between their fingertips.

“I’m w-worried about Sakura a-and Sasuke-san. Things a-aren’t working out like t-they’re supposed to.”

“What do you mean?” Naruto asked. He wanted to know what was up, but he like to keep her talking too. She had the cutest little stutter, but when she got more comfortable it got less and less noticeable. He wanted her to be comfortable around him.

“W-well, we had a p-plan to get them t-together. But if they k-keep fighting like this then it’s g-going to go nowhere.” She frowned and tapped her fingers against the counter as she waited for the water to boil. Naruto really wanted to hold her hand. To hold her.

“I’ll help.” He said. “I’ll help. The Teme needs a girl anyway. A serious one. So I’ll help.”

“Really?” she asked. Naruto grinned at her. He watched the blush spread across her cheeks slowly, enjoying every second of it. She really had no idea as to the effect she had on men.

“Yeah.” He shrugged. “And besides, we all know they want each other. They’re just too dense to say anything.”

Hinata giggled as she poured the tea. Naruto picked up his mug and sat down at the plain wooden table in the middle of the kitchen.

“Let’s sit in here for a bit?” he asked. Hinata smiled, still blushing, as sat down across from him. He leaned forward just to be closer to her. He could smell her; the light scent of lavender mixed with soap and the aroma of her tea was making him dizzy. But he couldn’t pull away.

What was happening to him?

 

Tenten was lying in her room, door barricaded, lights off, pillow over her face.

Last night was still playing through her head like a broken record.

The dancing.

The fight.

The thrill of his jealousy.

The kiss.

No.

Nono.

Nonono-

Fuck.

WHY DID HE HAVE TO KISS HER LIKE THAT!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Selfish bastard.

Like he even gave a thought to how she would feel about all this.

How did she feel?

She felt…like…

Oh, she was too tired for this! Who did he think he was to just grab her a kiss her like that? She could slap him with a sexual assault charge if she wanted to. In fact, she just might. Seriously, what was he trying to prove? He said that he was jealous of Shino, but then he refused to tell her why, like she was stupid not to know or something.  
Then he kissed her. And walked away.

But that kiss.

Her lips tingled at the thought.

That was a different kind of kiss. It was a really good kiss. It was…desperate.

Tenten could still feel the places where the broken off twigs of the tree had dug into her back, pushed up against a tree, his lips searching desperately over hers. It was deep, breathless, passionate.

Her breath hitched in her chest the way it had when he pulled away. Then he stammered out an apology and ran for it.

Tenten flung the pillow on her face across the room. She heard it land somewhere by the barricade. Her face felt hot and her breathing was erratic. She rolled over on her stomach and buried her face in her arms. The way she had reacted to that kiss! She felt…awkward.

She had pulled him closer. She had held him tight. She had moaned softly in his ear, urging him on. She was the one who loved feeling his hands on her body, touching every inch of her he could reach.

Tenten rolled clear off the bed and hit the floor with a loud, painful thump.

Funny how pain was a running theme in her life wasn’t it?

 

So.

Kiba sighed. Here he was standing out on the freezing balcony with Sasuke. He had a cigarette between two fingers but Sasuke didn’t smoke. He took a drag and decided to stick his neck out.

“You and Sakura seemed pretty tense in there.” He said. If he died because of this he was dragging Ino to Hell with him. This was her stupid idea after all. Her and Hinata and that blond idiot, Naruto. Oddly, Karin and Suigetsu declined joining in the group meeting, preferring to sit in a corner by the fire alone, wicked looks dancing in their eyes.

Kiba shivered as he waited for an answer.

“Yeah.”

Yeah? Kiba stared at him. Yeah? That was it? Seriously? What the fuck. He pushed a bit further.

“Why?”

Sasuke shrugged. “I dunno. Chick stuff.”

Kiba snorted. That wasn’t an answer. And to think that yesterday he was speaking in actual sentences…around Sakura at least.

“Well, whatever it is that it is that she thinks you did, man, apologize.”

“What?” Sasuke glowered. Kiba took a steadying drag on his cigarette before answering. Sasuke was bat-shit crazy sometimes.

“Look,” he said, “whenever you have a fight with your girl the only thing that will make it go away is if you apologize. Even if you didn’t do anything wrong.”

“I didn’t.” Sasuke said. He sounded sulky. Kiba rolled his eyes and took a deep breath before continuing.

“I know, but if she thinks you did then you’d better apologize. In the kinds of relationships we have with women, the women are always right.”

“What kind of relationship?” Sasuke looked genuinely puzzled.  
Holy shit. The guy had no clue, did he? Holy shit.

“Never mind.” Kiba stubbed out his cigarette and turned to face his friend. “I’m going to give you step-by-step instructions on what to say to her. You go up to her, ask her why she is angry at you and then apologize like no tomorrow. And whatever you do, do not let her get going on a rant.” Sasuke was still staring at him like a fool.

“I don’t know where you’re going with this.”

“Oh, fuck, Sasuke! You like her, it’s obvious so don’t even try to deny it. You also live with her. So unless you want your life to be worse than it already is you have got to apologize. Grovel! Plead! Just don’t let her leave this cabin angry at you. Look what happened to her and Ino.”

Sasuke was now looking thoroughly alarmed. Kiba felt satisfied that he had completed his role in this. Hopefully, now, he could sit out on the patio next to a heater and smoke in peace.

Sasuke went back inside.

 

“Well what if I don’t want to flirt with her?” Suigetsu asked. Karin shook her head. He knew what was coming.

“What you want doesn’t matter right now. All that matters is that my mother gets her grandchildren. And since Itachi is probably gay and I hate children it falls to Sasuke to find a suitable mate.” Karin explain this to him like it was obvious.

It wasn’t.

“So, you’re sacrificing one of your best friends because your mom wants grandchildren?”

“Well, yeah.” Karin shrugged and tossed back her wine. “If I didn’t think she couldn’t handle him I wouldn’t bother. But I mean come on! She got him to speak in full sentences! We never thought that was going to happen.”

Suigetsu groaned. He didn’t want to do this. He wanted to relax and drink and maybe kiss Karin.

…

Wait.

…

What?

Oh, no. Oh dear God no. He did not just think that.

But he did. He did just think he wanted to kiss her.

He watched her get up, saying something he didn’t hear. She ruffled his hair, making a shiver race down his spine. Watching her walk away, he slowly reached up and smoothed his hair. This did not bode well.

Sasuke was going to fucking kill him. Well shitson.

 

Sakura was sitting on the floor in the hall. There wasn’t really a reason she chose to sit here, she just wanted a place to sit that was away from people. So the hall it was.

She was just getting mad at everyone. First Ino had to go and be a selfish bitch again. And then Sasuke had to be annoying a try to pry into her business. And Tenten was being a coward, sulking in her room and Neji was off being a manly man, expressing his frustration somewhere on the mountain. And Hinata and Naruto were off being all lovey-dovey. And Karin and Suigetsu were plotting something that was sure to end in tears.

She dropped her head onto her knees. What the hell was wrong with her? She should be happy that Hinata was getting the good sort of attention from a guy. She should be glad that Ino was respecting her rage and leaving her alone. She should go apologize to Sasuke for being concerned about her. But she couldn’t bring herself to feel bad about snapping at him or ignoring Ino. She did feel a little bad about pointlessly hating Hinata and Naruto.

“Ow,” she yelped. She had just banged her head against the wall. It was a lot closer than she thought. She rubbed the back of her head and looked down the hall. There were no lights on under the door. Sakura grit her teeth and glared at the door. Tenten needed to man the fuck up and face her issues. She pushed herself up off the floor and strode down the hall, fists clenched at her sides.

 

Having migrated from the kitchen to the living room to share their plan with the others, Hinata and Naruto were now sitting alone in the living room. Hinata was in one corner of the couch, legs curled under her and Naruto was in the other corner, arm hanging over the arm rest, watching her intently. Silence had fallen a few minutes ago. Hinata could feel her stomach twisting under his gaze. It was a pleasant feeling. She blushed and looked away, at the fire.

“Hey, Hinata-chan,” Naruto said. She looked at him. When did he get so close!?

“Y-yes?” she asked. She wasn’t sure if she felt uncomfortable or just exhilarated.

“I really like you,” he said. Hinata blushed again, but she noticed that he was blushing as well. “I was wondering-I mean, if you wouldn’t mind-do you want to go out with me. Like on a date?”

“Oh, um.” Hinata was at a loss for words. “Well, I-I…”

“It’s okay if you don’t.” Naruto said quickly. But Hinata noticed him look away, as if disappointed. Her heart sank a little bit. She wanted to see him happy all the time.

“I-it’s not that I don’t want t-to go!” she said quickly. Naruto looked around at her. Hinata managed to meet his eyes and hold his gaze. “I want to.”

“You do?” Naruto asked. Hinata couldn’t understand why he was so excited. She wasn’t anything special.

“Y-yeah!”

“Hinata-chan,” Naruto asked. He looked shy again, blushing like a school boy. “Can I kiss you?”

Hinata felt her face go up another eight degrees. But she nodded and leaned in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the romantic chapter (the beginnings of romance, anyway).


	11. Of Donut Holes and Hot Tubs

Sakura pounded her fist on Tenten’s door.

“Tenten!” she shouted. “Tenten! Open the door!”

“GO AWAY!” Tenten screamed back.

“OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR BEFORE I BREAK IT DOWN!” Sakura screamed back. She heard some scraping noises and the door swung open about a foot. Just enough to let her slip through into the darkness beyond. Tenten shut the door behind her and shoved the dresser back in front of the door.

“Why are you yelling at me?” Tenten asked. She looked pathetic.

“Look, I don’t know what is wrong with you or why you’re hibernating in here, but you need to do something about Neji. He’s pacing around like a mad person downstairs and it’s driving me up the wall.” Sakura said. “What happened with you two anyway?”  
Tenten sighed. She flopped back down on the bed next to Sakura and looked at her.

“Neji kissed me.”

“So?” Sakura shrugged. “He’s done that before, hasn’t he?”

“Yeah, but never like that.” Tenten slouched her shoulders. “He said that he was jealous of the way I was dancing with a guy at the party.”

Sakura let the silence sit for a minute.

“I mean, who does he think he is? Telling me off like that. It’s not like he owns me or anything. He has got no grounds to be jealous.”

“He loves you.” Sakura said quietly.

“What?” Tenten stared at her friend. Sakura sighed, tipped her head back and brushed hair out of her eyes.

“He loves you.” She said again. The simplicity of the statement seemed to have struck Tenten dumb.

“No,” she shook her head, laughing. “That’s ridiculous.”

“Why?” Sakura asked, standing up. She looked at Tenten. “You’re a very attractive woman. You’re smart, funny, outgoing, strong. Why shouldn’t he love you?” Sakura held up her hand to cut Tenten off. She wasn’t finished making her point yet. “And Neji is the most reliable, honourable person I know. He doesn’t do things by halves, ever. So if he’s jealous of a little freak like that frat guy then you can pretty much guarantee that it’s because he’s in love with you.”

Sakura could tell she had rendered Tenten speechless. Good, that was one less thing she had to worry about.

“At least the person you love loves you back.” She said bitterly.

She left Tenten sitting on her bed in a state of total shock and confusion.

“But Sakura,” Tenten murmured after she had left. “Sasuke does love you.”

 

Ino was sitting in her car with a hothothot coffee and a bigbigbig box of doughnut holes (known by anyone who lives in a sane world as Timbits). She sorted through the tasty treats, picking one covered with sugar. She bit into it blissfully. This was the one time she was allowing herself to breakdown and indulge in something that would definitely lead to a heart attack.

They were just so good!

“Oh god, that’s amazing.” She said to herself. She was in her car alone, but the windows were a bit fogged up so no one would see her talking to herself.

But seriously, these things were her guilty pleasure. No one could know she was eating these. She was only caving because she was under some serious stress.

Ino stuffed another one of the small, delicious pastries into her mouth, chewing blissfully. She felt some of the tension in her body release. She was so wound up about keeping the flower shop afloat, dealing with Sakura’s rage and getting her friends together with their soul mates that not even her beloved boyfriend could comfort her. At times like these she turned to fatty goodness.

What was she going to do? Karin and Suigetsu’s plan was a workable one, but it was so…risky. It all depended on Sakura being vindictive enough to make Sasuke suffer and Sasuke getting jealous enough to be possessive. Ino seriously doubt that it would happen. Sasuke was the most unemotional bastard she had ever met and Sakura had a nasty habit of supressing everything that made her uncomfortable.

Ino sighed and ate another tasty treat. She licked the sugar off her fingers and picked up another one. She brought it to her lips and paused. Thinking about the tattered remains of her relationship with her best friend make the dough feel heavy in her mouth. She dropped the doughnut hole back in the box and stuck her keys in the ignition. Sitting around thinking never got anything done. She turned the keys, and wiped the windshield off with her napkins. She shifted the gears and pressed the gas slowly. She hated driving in the snow.

 

Suigetsu wasn’t sure if his new found feeling of wanting to kiss Karin was a good thing right now or not. On the one hand, she was acting like she wanted to kiss him too. On the other foot, she was making him flirt with her best friend which was awkward as fuck. And the sad thing was that he knew he was going to do it for her.

God, he was so whipped.

Karin waved frantically to catch his eye and then jabbed her finger in Sakura’s direction. Suigetsu rolled his eyes and stood up. He walked slowly over to where Sakura was, sauntering almost, making sure that Sasuke was watching him. He gave him a slow smirk before throwing himself down on the empty couch next to Sakura. He flung one arm over the back of the couch and grinned at her. Sakura smiled back a little hesitantly.

“So,” he drawled, “I heard you are sissy pants over there are having a little spat.” He  
could feel Sasuke’s glare drilling into the side of his head. He was so dead. Deader.

“You wanna talk about it?”

“Not really.” Sakura said. Suigetsu shrugged. He didn’t actually give a shit about their spat.

“Okay, what do you want to talk about then?”

Sakura shrugged. She noticed his arm over the back of the couch. He scooted a bit closer. “What did you have in mind?” she asked coyly. Suigetsu saw Sasuke move into a chair that was closer and narrow his eyes. He dropped his arm off the couch, around  
Sakura’s shoulders and grinned.

 

So now that Sakura and Suigetsu were flirting away to piss of Sasuke Karin could relax and enjoy her wine. Sitting next to her brother she settled back into the arm chair and looked at him smugly over the rim of her glass.

“So,” she said, “what’s got your panties in a bunch?”

Sasuke growled. Karin rolled her eyes.

“Thank God we aren’t relying on you to save the human race otherwise we’d be back in the Stone Age. Urr, Cave-Sasu angry! Cave-Sasu SMASH!” she cackled. Sasuke glared at her. She subsided into quiet giggles and tucked her legs up under her. “So why are you reverting back to the Prehistoric days?”

“Like you care,” he snapped.

“I do!” she insisted. She did care for two very important reasons. One: there was definitely gossip to be had here and two: he was her brother. “Tell me. I’ll be like one of those news columnist people that you write to with all your problems and they write an article to you where they’re all sympathetic and shit.” Sasuke glowered. “Oh come on! Who else is going to listen to you? Itachi or Mom?”

Sasuke shuddered. He, like Karin, tried to avoid sharing anything personal with their well-meaning but overbearing mother and brother.

“I think you need to keep your boy toy on a leash,” he snapped. Karin raised her eyes and felt her stomach drop.

Suigetsu was sitting on the couch, arm thrown carelessly back, his t-shirt stretching tightly over his chest. He sat in that typical guy way, with his feet closer together and his knees wide apart. His jeans were nice, she noted. His white hair was just brushing below his jawline, accenting the sharp lines and angles of his face. Karin took a moment to appreciate the well-muscled bicep. Then she narrowed her eyes at Sakura, who actually had that bicep resting against her shoulder.

She knew that this whole Piss-Off-Sasu-face thing was her plan, but she couldn’t deny it; she was intensely jealous of her best friend right now. Like, for real. Bitch needed to back off! She inwardly cussed Sakura out. But on the outside she just shrugged, mostly to further infuriate her brother.

“He’s not my boy toy.”

Sasuke glared at her.

“That gets scarier every time you do it,” she commented dryly, sipping her wine. She swilled the dark red liquid in the glass, mostly to get her eyes off the disgusting sight before her. When had she gotten this possessive? She didn’t want to end up an anti-social, possessive freak like her brother.

She took a deep breath and un-tucked her legs. She drained her glass and stood up.  
“You need to take a chill pill, bro. Like, seriously? Relax. Your vibes and messing with my mojo.”

“How about you shut up and mind your own fucking business, hippie?” Sasuke spat. Karin grinned at him.

She stretched like a cat, taking immense pleasure in the way every single member of the male gender (minus her freak brother) took a moment (and a life risk) to subtly check her out. There was a reason she was one of the best paid strippers in the biz and it was in the front and the back.

“I think I’m going to go for a walk and then go to bed,” she said to no one in general. “See you all tomorrow. Happy New Year’s.” She said. She tugged on her boots and coat and stepped out into the cold.

Next to the front door was a pair of skates. They were old, not really white anymore and the laces were fraying. Karin bent down and picked them up. They looked about her size. She shrugged and hung them around her neck.  
She hadn’t been skating in a while but that was okay. It was like riding a bike or sex.  
You never forget how to do it.

 

Tenten thought she had escaped the madness when she stepped out onto the patio. Oh, she couldn’t have been more wrong.

Well she actually probably could have been, but she wasn’t thinking about that right now. She was too busy trying to get around Neji to get back inside and barricade herself in her room again.

But Neji was just as athletic as she was and he was also taller (damn him!). He blocked her way and grabbed her wrist to pull her back. Her skin burned where he touched her.

“What?” she spat, viciously twisting her arm out of his grip.

“I have to admit, Tenten, I’m confused.” He said smoothly. Tenten wanted to kill him.  
Why the hell was he always so slick? She was practically a basket case of nerves and he was like Jack fucking Frost. Bastard.

“Confused about what?” she hissed. If she edged him around to the right and she edged herself around to the left then she would be able to make a break for it back inside.

“About where I stand with you,” he said. Tenten frowned but kept inching. Only a few more feet and she wouldn’t have to deal with this! “I understand that I might have crossed a line last night but-”

“Might have?” Tenten shrieked. “‘Might have’ doesn’t even begin to cover it.”

“I know, but what else was I supposed to do?” he asked. Tenten was pleased when she saw a spark of rage in his eyes. “You always deflect when I want to talk to you about what kind of relationship we have!”

Tenten took a step back. She was so close to the door!

“Don’t keep running and hiding from me Tenten!” he was finally shouting. She stopped. “I don’t understand why you never want to tell me what we are.”

“You’re smart,” Tenten said. “Figure it out.”

“I can’t because I can never get a handle on where you are! And normally this isn’t a problem.”

“Then why is it a problem now?” Tenten shouted back. She didn’t really care if the whole mountain heard them.

“It’s a problem now because I want to take the next step. I want to go from being whatever the hell we were to something more solid and definable.”

“Which would be?” Tenten asked.

“Move in with me,” he said.

…

…

…

“What?”

“Move in with me,” he said again.

Tenten was baffled. What? WHAT? Move in with-no way. Not a chance. Why the hell would she want to do that?

“Why?” she asked. She wasn’t just angry anymore, she was also confused.

“You’re afraid of committing to one single person,” Neji said. “Let me prove to you that you don’t need to have that fear with me.”

There was a long, very pregnant silence.

“Holy shit. Sakura was right,” Tenten breathed. Neji looked at her questioningly. “All right, here’s the deal. We’re going to try this ‘living together’ thing. For a week. If I can’t stand it I’m going back to my place and we are never speaking of this.”

“And if you can stand it?” Neji asked.

“Do you really need me to spell it out for you? I thought the other outcome was pretty obvious.” Tenten rolled her eyes and stuck her fists on her hips. Tenten suddenly had a bad feeling in her stomach. She never knew what to do when Neji grinned like that.  
It made her decidedly nervous.

 

Hinata wanted to face palm. Really, her friends were so stupid. They were all just dancing around trying to make things between them better without actually doing anything. She wanted to kill them all. In fact, the only thing keeping back her rage was Naruto. Because he was sitting in the hot tub with her, across from her, chatting away about something that wasn’t really important. But she liked listening to him. He was very soothing to be around. But she had to stay sharp. Because if Neji saw them they would both be dead.

“Hhh! Naruto-kun!” she scrambled across the hot tub and clamped her hand over his mouth. “Shh!”

Neji and Tenten were on the balcony above them, arguing. Naruto looked at her, blue eyes thoroughly alarmed at what they were accidentally intruding on. Hinata was having a harder time focusing on her cousin and her friend because she just realized that she was pressed right up against Naruto’s almost naked, very tone body.  
Apparently Naruto noticed as well because he suddenly jumped back and blushed.

“Um, Hinata-chan,” he whispered. “Maybe we should go inside.”  
Is he crazy? It’s freezing out! Hinata wanted to cry. Nothing seemed to be working out for her!

“Or, we could stay here,” Naruto seemed to notice her inner turmoil. It was Hinata’s turn to blush as she realized the other ways that she could interpret that suggestion.

“What do you say?” he asked quietly. It had gone silent above.

Hinata moved quietly through the bubbling water and settled down next to him. Naruto carefully slid his arm around her shoulders, and pulled her closer to him.

“It’s nice that Neji and Tenten are really getting their feelings sorted out, eh?” he asked as the shouting above them resumed. Hinata giggled nervously. She was still paranoid that Neji would somehow sense them here. But being with Naruto was nice. It was safe. She liked it a lot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am going to upload all 25 chapters tonight, even though it is 12:16 AM right now.


	12. The Last Request Theory

Suigetsu found Karin, at quarter to midnight ice skating on the frozen lake. He would never understand that woman. It was bloody freezing and she was out here ice skating in a thin sweater and a pair of tights.

“What are you doing?” he called from the dock. Karin looked around, sliding to a halt gracefully. Suigetsu hid his smirk in his scarf. He knew what she did for a job ( not that he watched her or anything. That would be weird and creepy) and he had to admit, she was damn sexy.

“I’m skating!” she shouted back. She pushed off again, toward the center of the lake, spiralling slowly across the smooth surface of the ice. She waved at his as she spun for the third time and then dug her toe into the ice.

Suigetsu stepped carefully off the frozen dock and tread slowly across the ice toward her. He stopped a few feet away from her, hands jammed in his pockets. He’d forgotten his gloves. “Well, I think that our little mission has been a success. When I left Sasuke looked ready to kill me.” Suigetsu shrugged. “You know, you’re crazy ass brother could actually kill me.”

“No he couldn’t.” Karin said dismissively, spinning around in a circle.

“Yes he could. So as a wanted outlaw, I was curious.”

“About what?” Karin stopped spinning and faced him.

“Well, since Sasuke is a raging asshole he won’t give me a last request. And seeing as you’re his nearest relation at the moment, I was curious to know if you would grant me a last request. You know, before I die valiantly, of course,” he said.

“Of course,” Karin rolled her eyes and skated over to him. “That all depends on what the request is.”

“Well,” Suigetsu pulled his hands out of his pockets and held them up, “It is pretty cold out here and I didn’t bring any gloves.”

“That’s not really my fault.” Karin pointed out.

“No,” Suigetsu agreed. He took a step closer to her. “But my hands are very cold.”

“Are they?” Karin slid a little closer to him. He felt his stomach drop as she met his eyes.

“Yeah,” he said quietly. Karin slipped her gloves off and dropped them on the ice between them.

“Let me see if I can warm them up,” she said. She took one of his hands in hers and brought it closer to her face. She flicked her eyes up to his and kissed the tips of his fingers lightly. “Is this your last request?” she asked.

“Can I have more than one?” he asked.

“Hmm,” Karin hummed and checked her watch. “It’s midnight. Happy New Year’s.”

“Can I have more than one?” Suigetsu asked again. Karin shrugged.

“Who are you going to kiss on New Year’s?” she asked instead of answering.

“If I can’t have more than one them I’m telling you my last request right now,” Suigetsu said. She was still holding his hand in hers. “I want you as my last request.”

“I’ll tell you who I’m going to kiss on New Year’s,” Karin said like he hadn’t spoken. She let go of his hand and put her arms around his neck, pulling him down to her level. “Or maybe I’ll just show you. We can get to your last request in a minute.”

Suigetsu’s lips met hers. It was a minute before he realized what had happened, then his mind went blank.

 

This wasn’t really the way Ino had picture New Year’s. She had thought that she would be surrounded by friend, made up with Sakura and kissing her boyfriend as fireworks exploded gloriously overhead.

Right now only the fireworks had happened and she was feeling a little down. She stared out the window watching the explosions of colour overhead, wondering what the point of all this was. They had obviously succeeded in getting Hinata her man and somehow Tenten had managed to stumble into commitment with Neji but Sasuke and Sakura were not speaking to each other and she wasn’t speaking to Sakura. It was weird and very lonely.

“Ino?” Kiba opened the door. “What are you doing in here in the dark by yourself?”

“Hmm? Oh, I’m watching the fireworks,” Ino said, pointing out the window.

“Well you shouldn’t watch them alone. It’s a bit sad,” Kiba put his hands in his pockets and came to stand next to her. She rested her head against his shoulder, breathing in the smell of smoke and soap that he always smelled like. It had come to be a comforting scent.

“So,” he said, “what’s your New Year’s resolution?”

“I think I’m going to try to make up with Sakura. And give up meddling in her love life, or lack thereof,” Ino had thought about it during the trip and it felt like there was nothing else she could do.

“That sounds like a good idea,” Kiba said, putting his arm around her shoulder. “My resolution is to give up smoking.”

“Didn’t you resolve to give that up last year?” Ino asked.

“Yeah,” Kiba sighed, “But this time I’ll have Hana nagging me at work, Mom nagging me whenever she drops in and you nagging me at home so my chances are considerable higher.”

Ino laughed. “I love you,” she murmured. Kiba hugged her closer.

“I love you,” he said against her hair.

 

Sasuke was pacing madly in his room, probably wearing right through the floor. He felt like he wanted to tear his hair out but he didn’t think he would look good bald. Everything Kiba had said was still going through his mind with annoying regularity and he kept seeing visions of Suigetsu with his arm around Sakura. Then he would see red for a minute and pace faster until it went away. Frustrated and disgusted that he let himself get played by a little bitch like Suigetsu he flung himself on his bed.

Then he realized that that was too much like sulking so he forced himself up. He didn’t want to start pacing but he didn’t want to go anywhere else either. Everywhere he went there was a happy couple. Naruto and Hinata had taken up residence in front of the outdoor fire place, holding hands and being disgustingly in love. Kiba and Ino had locked themselves in their bed room and Sasuke had no doubt about what was happening behind that closed door. And Neji and Tenten were somewhere with each other getting used to the fact that they were in love. He had no idea what Karin was doing and didn’t give a fuck about Suigetsu. The only person left down stairs was Sakura, sitting on the couch, by herself.

“Fuck,” Sasuke hurtled out his door and practically fell down the stairs. He managed to pull his momentum to a halt outside the living room door and pull himself together. Almost.

He felt a tightening in his chest when he saw her, sitting with her hands on her knees, staring at the rung. He cleared his throat. She flicked her green eyes and glared at him. He sat down next to her, looking at her sidelong. She turned slightly away from him and tucked her feet up on the couch under her. It was five minutes to midnight by his watch and he knew Kiba was right. If he didn’t apologize then he would probably never speak to her again. And he quiet honestly found that idea horrifying.

“Sakura,” he said. She jerked her head slightly but didn’t look at him. “I’m – I’m,” he took a deep breath. “I’m sorry.”

Her head whipped around so fast he thought she might have snapped her neck for a moment.

“What did you just say?” she sounded really astonished, which was a blow to his deeply buried emotional self. He wasn’t that much of an asshole was he?

“I’m sorry for what I said before,” he paused, hoping she would just forgive him and spare him the embarrassment. She arched her eyebrow and pursed her lips. No dice.

“About your, uh, situation with Ino.”

“Are you really?” she asked like she didn’t believe him.

“Yes!” he snapped, losing it for a second. “I am,” he forced his temper down at the affronted look in her eyes. “I shouldn’t have pushed it when you told me not too.”

Sakura looked like she was ready to forgive him because she had a softened look on her face when she opened her mouth to speak but he suddenly keep the words back.

“I should have had more respect for your feelings and the boundaries around your personal life that you don’t want crossed. I shouldn’t have –”

“Sasuke!” she put her hand on his. She had turned her body to face his fully now. “It’s my personal life but you’re allowed to push the boundaries now and again. Thank you for apologizing to me, it means a lot that you would do that,” she squeezed his hand and started to pull it away.

Instead of a sense of relief he felt an irrational moment of panic at the sudden loss of contact. He grabbed her hand with his. She looked around at him, frowning slightly, like he was a little bit more that bizarre. He couldn’t think of a reason to explain his actions but he didn’t want to let go of her hand either. He pulled it closer to him, gently guiding her along with it until she was inched from him. She was kneeling on the sofa and he was leaning forward. Their noses almost touched.

“Karin told me about this stupid tradition,” she mumbled distractedly. “Something about kissing someone at midnight on New Year’s.”

Sasuke didn’t know if it was an invitation or not but he leaned forward, just enough for their lips to brush lightly.

It was like getting an electric shock but a thousand times better. His whole body felt like it was burning with some sort of intense but pleasant internal fire. He lifted his free hand and slid it around the back of her neck, pulling her closer, deepening the kiss. And she let him.

He was kissing her. And she was kissing him back.

Sakura was almost certain that her heat would beat out of her chest, even though that sort of thing was medically impossible. But that’s what it felt like when she kissed him. It felt like she was on fire, short of breath, lightheaded and dizzy all at once. But instead of being afraid that she would pass out she felt like she was being pulled up, out of some sort of suffocating darkness.

When had Sasuke become like this? When had she suddenly needed him next to her like she needed to breath or eat? When had she started thinking of them as a single unit instead of two separate people? She had gotten so used to having him around, constantly orienting herself around him that she hadn’t even noticed when he started to orient himself around her as well.

Her heart was beating in her chest and blood was pounding in her ears. She knew her face was probably red by now but didn’t care. She wanted to feel the intense fire, the burning sensation that started at the pit of her stomach and moved out to her extremities.

He pulled back, his eyes bright with an emotion she couldn’t quite name, breathing hard.

“Sakura,” he gasped. “I didn’t mean to –”

“Don’t,” she whispered and pushed him back. He fell back against the cushions on the sofa, obeying her touch so easily. She felt giddy. She could smell the unique scent of soap, and some odd, unnamed spice that always seemed to linger around him. It was a heady, intoxicating scent. She slid closer leaning down. His hands slid around her waist. It was such an innocent gesture but it was so intimate that she let out a small gasp before kissing him hard.

He pulled her down against him and held her against his body. She could feel him pressed up against her. All of him. His skin was hot to the touch, his hands pushing the back of her t-shirt up, skimming over her bare skin. She tangled her fingers in his hair holding him to her fast.

Someone gasped from the doorway. Sakura, too startled to be reluctant, pulled herself away. Tenten was standing there opened mouthed, staring at them. She had a look on her face somewhere between laughter and embarrassed shock.

“Oh, so you guys made up then?” she asked. “Good for you two. Well,” she cleared her throat awkwardly. “Carry on,” then she tore out of the room, hair whipping behind her.

“Um,” Sakura looked down at Sasuke (a rare occurance).

“You heard her,” he growled. He sat up, picking her up like she weighed nothing and kissed her fiercely. “She said to carry on,” and he carried her out of the room. Sakura would have laughed but she was busy making out with her roommate. Laughing could wait until later. She had more important things to do. Literally. Like, right now.

 

 

“So,” Tenten looked at Neji who was looking away to suppress his laughter. “That was awkward.”

“Oh really?” Neji asked. If anyone else had been sarcastic with her Tenten would have punched them in the face. But she liked Neji’s face so she settled with digging her elbow into his ribcage.

“Shut up,” she growled. “You didn’t just see one of your best friend practically having sex on the couch that you’ve sat on with her roommate.”

“At least now Sasuke knows how to solve any future problems,” Neji said. Tenten looked at him.

“What do you mean?”She asked, not really wanting to hear his answer because she knew he was a sarcastic bastard.

“Well, all he has to do is apologize and then he gets make-up sex,” Neji shrugged. Tenten actually did punch him. But on the arm. She still liked his face.

“Ouch,” Neji rubbed his arm and glared at her.

“Oh no! did I hurt you, sweetie?” she asked archly. She grinned and stood up on tip toe to whisper in his ear. “Do you want me to kiss it better?” she licked her lips right next to his ear. Neji made a low growling noise in the back of his throat and pushed her up against the wall. He kissed her hard, pulling her zip up hoodie off frantically.

“Whoa, slow down there big boy,” Tenten chided him. “It can wait until the bedroom, can’t it?”

 

Karin rolled onto her back, thankful that Suigetsu had the foresight to lay down a tarp from the shed nearby.

“So,” she said.

“Yeah,” Suigetsu nodded next to her. He had already pulled his jeans and sweater back on. Karin had claimed his shirt for her own and put on her jacket and tights. It was cold outside.

“I’ve never had sex outside in the middle of winter before,” Karin observed unromantically. “I thought I’d be cold but you’re actually quite similar to a space heater. Only much more pleasurable.”

“I can’t believe you just compared me to a space heater,” Suigetsu grumbled. He would have gotten up to stalk off except Karin had wrapped her arms around his neck and was resting her head on his chest. He didn’t mind though. It was nice to have someone to do this kind of thing with.

“I never figure you for the cuddling type,” Karin said. She rubbed her nose into his sweater. Suigetsu groaned and grabbed her arm.

“Karin, stop that,” he begged. She looked at him pouting. “You really have no idea what you do to me, do you?” he asked, exasperated. Karin grinned wickedly.

“We have all night to find out,” she suggested.

“Oh no,” Suigetsu surprised himself. “I am not doing outdoor winter sex again. Even if it was incredible.”

“Of course it was. This is me we’re talking about,” Karin nodded. “But I know what you mean. I could lay here all night with you,” she snuggled closer, his warmth seeping into her skin.

She felt Suigetsu tighten his grip around her shoulders and smiled. She was never a softie but she could be romantic if she felt like it. And she was feeling the romantic vibe right now. She liked it a lot.

 

Hinata would never tell anyone this, but she wasn’t as innocent as they all thought she was. Naruto had found that out the night before and he almost found out again in the hot tub. They had gotten out of the hot tub once Neji and Tenten vacated the balcony, getting dressed quickly and booking it up to the outdoor fire place, laughing to each other. Kiba wasn’t occupying his usual spot so Hinata felt free to stretch her body out on the lawn chair there and let the electric fire heat her. She didn’t miss the look in Naruto’s eyes as he watched her, but she just smiled and shook her head. She didn’t want to ruin what they had with too much sex. She always felt like that would cheapen it somehow.

And Naruto understood that. He lifted her legs and sat with her, draping her limbs over his lap, rubbing his hands over his shins to warm them.

“Hey,” he said like he had just realized something. There were fireworks exploding overhead. “Happy New Year, Hinata-chan.”

Hinata couldn’t hold back the grin that spread across her face. She sat up on her elbows, and he leaned closer, placing a chaste kiss on her lips.

“Happy New Year,” she whispered against his mouth. She had never felt so completely happy in her life as she did now, with him simply holding her. She felt like if she died she wouldn’t mind, so long as she could always remember this moment forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The official New Year's Chapter that was actually posted past midnight, so not at all on time.


	13. Hell Hath No Fury

If she thought what had happened between her and Sasuke the night before would make things between them different she was wrong, apparently. And the realization that she was wrong only made the six hour car ride home all the more fucking awkward. She had never actually wanted to smash her face through a window of a moving vehicle before now.

She had thought, from the semi-affectionate way he had greeted her when she woke up, that there would be some sort of conversation about the night before. But after a quick breakfast that only half of their small group attended everyone was so busy running around packing and finding the things they had misplaced that there had been no time for a conversation.

She also realized that he might not want to talk about ‘it’ while all his friend were in the car, but she would have liked a hint or something to go on. It would have made this car ride much easier to tolerate without wanting to grab the car keys and shove them through her eye.

“So,” she said, glaring out the window. Sasuke didn’t take his eyes off the road.

“Hn,” he responded flatly. Sakura clenched her fists and took a deep breath.

“Did you enjoy the trip?” her voice had an edge of hysterical rage and she over enunciated the ‘p’. He didn’t seem to notice what she was getting at.

“It was okay,” he said. Sakura nearly launched herself across the two foot space between them to throttle him right then and there.

“Oh,” she said instead. Then, feeling rather vindictive she added: “Yeah, it wasn’t that great for me either.”

If Sasuke reacted to this she didn’t see it. She was staring out the window, imagining the tree withering up under her glare. She ground her teeth. There would be an explanation for this behaviour or the shit was going to hit the fan.

 

Karin was feeling a little bit ill. It was a familiar feeling because she always got this feeling right before a big storm hit, or someone died or something. It was a feeling she had come to associate with badness. Big badness. So when she saw the venomous look that Sakura shot Sasuke after they got out of their car to fill up on gas and take a rest stop she pulled Tenten away from her weird boyfriend.

“Tenten,” she hissed, dragging her over to the cooler aisle where the buzzing hum drowned out her words. “I thought you said that they were all over each other last night.”

“I did. I mean they were,” Tenten looked over her shoulder, frowning. It was clear that they were not all over each other now. Not even in the mild way that Naruto and Hinata were (holding hands and occasionally grinning at each other). “I don’t know what happened.”

“I think it’s safe to assume that my idiot brother has royally fucked up again,” Karin threw her hands up in the air. “It’s always his fault. He has always sucked at dealing with girls.”

“Well,” Tenten grabbed a water bottle from the coolers and gave Karin a pointed look. “This was your idea. You fix it.”

Karin groaned and rolled her eyes up at the ceiling.

“Fine, I’ll fix it. But I swear to God, if someone does something to fuck things up again I will kill them.”

“If someone does what to fuck things up?” Ino asked, opening the cooler behind Karin and looking at the assortment of fruit flavoured beverages.

“Oh balls,” Karin muttered. Tenten mouthed ‘fix it’ at her and walked off with her water. Karin sighed and turned to face Ino. “You really want to know?” she asked.

“Yeah, it sounds serious,” Ino said. “Spill it, four eyes.”

“Did you happen to notice the way Sakura and Sasuke are avoiding each other like the plague?” Karin asked.

“Well I didn’t see any avoiding but I did see Sakura purposely bump Sasuke so he spilled coke on his jeans. Then she apologized. She was a bit of a bitch about it.”

“Yeah, okay,” Karin waved this away. “Well, that uncharacteristic behaviour is because,” she hesitated, looking over her shoulder to make sure no one was listening. Beckoned Ino to lean closer so she could whisper in her ear. “Tenten said she saw Sasuke and Sakura practically having sex on the couch last night. And from what I’ve seen they probably did have sex somewhere else.” She stepped back, bracing herself from the explosion of Mt. Ino but it never came (twss). She was just standing there, staring at Karin, her mouth slightly open in shock.

“Uh, earth to Ino?” Karin waved her hand in front of her face. “You there, sister?”

“Did Sasuke do something to piss Sakura off? Because I have never seen her be a bitch out right before. Like, ever.” Ino finally said. Karin shrugged.

“I wouldn’t be surprised. He’s a total moron. If it were up to him the entire human race would be doomed too extinction.”

“That’s comforting,” Ino muttered. She frowned and straightened up. “Karin, I may have to kill your brother. But if makes you feel any better, I did forewarn him.”

“Did you?” Karin asked, opening up a cooler. She decided she was going to need to stay hydrated to survive the drama.

“Yeah, I did. I told him not to screw around with Sakura or I would rip his balls off. Or something like that anyway. And now he has disobeyed me. I am going to have to punish him.”

Karin winced. She had just accidently envisioned Ino dressed in a tight black leather dominatrix outfit ‘punishing’ Kiba. She shuddered.

“I wish you hadn’t said that.”

Ino laughed, but she stopped abruptly when Sasuke came over to the coolers. They both glared at him.

“Moron,” Karin said, disgustedly. He raised an eyebrow at her and jerked his thumb over his shoulder.

“We’re going now. Pay for your stuff.”

Karin brushed past him elegantly but Ino chose to violently shove him out of her path.

Sakura saw it and laughed.

Karin couldn’t help it. She caught Ino’s eye and grinned.

 

Sasuke couldn’t figure out what it was that happened to turn Sakura from a normal human into the Pyscho Bitch of the century. She was starting to remind him of Karin and it was, quite frankly, terrifying.

It had been a week since the mountain getaway and Sakura had barely spoke three words to him since then. She did manage to add too much salt to only his plate at dinner for three consecutive nights in a row. Spill his vodka down the drain and use all the hot water before he could get to the shower. And granted, a week wasn’t long but this was torture! And Sasuke couldn’t take it anymore. He was going to have to resort to the utterly unthinkable. He picked up the phone and dialled a number he had sworn never to call. It only rang once.

“ _Hello?_ ” Sasuke took a deep breath before answering the smooth tenor.

“Itachi, it’s me,” he said. He could just tell his asshole brother was smirking. He just  
knew it.

“ _Oh, little brother. Well well. What could have prompted this phone call?_ ” Itachi’s smooth voice made him want to vomit, or hang up. Or both. But he did neither. He was desperate for a proper, salt free dinner.

“I hope you know that my calling you represents a total loss of self-respect.”

“ _Just get to the point._ ”

“I need your help,” Sasuke ground out, gripping the phone so tightly that his knuckles were white.

“ _Do you?_ ” Itachi asked smugly.

“Yeah,” Sasuke snapped. “Are you going to milk this for all it’s worth or are you going to just let me get to the point?”

“ _Well, since you sound so desperate I suppose that we can cut to the chase,_ ” Itachi amended. “ _What did you do?_ ”

“Why does everyone assume it was me?” Sasuke asked, resisting the urge to strangle his brother through the phone.

“ _Because the only thing you can’t do that I can is deal with women. And since you are asking for my help and the only steady woman in your life is Sakura it stands to reason that you did something to screw up your fragile relationship with her._ ”  
Itachi, Sasuke thought, talked way too much.

“You know what?” Sasuke snapped. “I’ll just ask someone else for help.”

“ _Like who?_ ” Itachi asked. “ _No one knows you better than me and Karin and our parents and I know hell has already frozen over otherwise you wouldn’t have called me. The world would have to break down the middle and ooze rainbow coloured custard before you went to our parents or Karin with a woman problem._ ”

Sasuke ground his teeth. Itachi was right. He would not tell any of his friends. Naruto looked at Sakura like she was his sister and the other ones (Kiba, Neji, Suigetsu) were all closely linked to her best friends. They would definitely tell them what happened.

“Fine,” Sasuke said at last. “But you have to swear that you won’t tell anyone about this.”

“ _I swear,_ ” Itachi said after a teasing pause. “ _Now, foolish little brother, tell me what has gone wrong._ ”

 

 

Sakura was not lying on the couch in her apartment. For once she was actually in the break room at the hospital, putting her feet up after three hours of surgery. And she was thoroughly enjoying herself too. She had her bas hospital coffee in one hand and the latest issue of Cosmopolitan in the other. She had just immersed herself in an article about sex when her phone (she really had to get a new ringtone) went off loudly vibrating on the table.

_SAK. SAK. SAK. SAK. SAK._

“What!” Sakura snapped. “What do you want, Karin.”

“ _Not much,_ ” Karin said. “ _My brother wants to talk to you._ ”

“Well I don’t want to talk to him so tell him to fuck off,” Sakura growled. What she wanted to do with Sasuke did not involve talking. It involved killing him with a blunt instrument.

“ _I do have more than one brother you know,_ ” Karin said. “ _Itachi has something he’d like to say, if that’s okay with you._ ”

“Oh,” Sakura put her magazine down. “Oh, okay. Sure.” There was a bit of a scraping noise as Karin passed the phone over.

“ _Hello, Sakura._ ”

Wow, Itachi had a great voice.

“Um, hi there,” Sakura cleared her throat. He was sexy in person and over the phone! “What’s up?”

“ _I am contacting you mostly because my mother wanted to invite you to join us for dinner this weekend. Also, I would like to speak to you about something touching on the subject of my brother._ ”

“Oh,” Sakura blinked. “Well, tell your mom thanks for me, but I don’t know what my schedule is going to be like yet so I can’t say for sure. And as for Sasuke, I’d really rather not talk about anything touching on the subject of him.”

“ _Very well, but I think it would be in your best interests to come and have lunch with me at least. You don’t have to talk. I only want to explain something about him to you._ ”

Sakura sat back in her chair and chewed her lip. She already knew that Karin was going to force her to go to dinner and she was probably going to be forced to go meet Itachi for lunch. Might as well retain some pride and agree to both.

“All right, tell your mother that I’d be happy to join her for dinner. And I get off work at seven tonight. You can pick me up in the parking lot.”

“ _Well,_ ” Itachi said hesitantly.

“If we are going to talk about Sasuke we do it when it’s convenient for me or not at all,” Sakura said firmly. She checked her watch. She had time to do her rounds one last time before she got off work.

Itachi sighed. “ _Very well,_ ” he said and hung up. Sakura stood up and stretched. She really didn’t want to have this talk, but if it meant getting a free dinner she’d endure it.

 

Itachi prided himself on being punctual. He was exactly on time to meet Sakura in the hospital parking lot. He had parked in view of the door and was standing, leaning up against the driver’s side door of his car, waiting for her to emerge from the big stone building. He saw her immediately when she came out. Sasuke was right, she drew the eye right away. Her small stature was completely counteracted by the colour of her hair and the way she held herself, upright but relaxed, completely secure in her own skin. Itachi admired her as she buttoned up her coat and pulled on her gloves. She looked around until she spotted him, and she approached. She was really very lovely. He could see why his mother liked her so much, and why his brother was head over heels.

“All right,” Sakura said, stopping in front of him. “I’m giving you my time to talk about something I don’t want to talk about so dinner had better blow me away.”

“I take it then that you are utterly furious with my brother?” Itachi asked, holding the passenger side door open for her.

“Thank you,” Sakura said, sitting down and buckling her seat belt. “And yes, I am utterly furious.”

“Well, I don’t plan on making you less furious, but I do feel that I should point something out to you,” Itachi got in the car and put the keys in the ignition. “My brother is a very proud person. The fact that he called me to discuss this is testament to how much you have managed to change him.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” Sakura asked suspiciously. Itachi started the car and backed out of the parking lot.

“All in good time, Sakura. Right now let’s just focus on getting to the restaurant before it fills up.”

 

Mikoto was acutely aware of the tension between her youngest son and her dinner guest. She had already discreetly kicked her husband on the ankle to warn him not to say anything. Karin was too busy enjoying their obvious discomfort to be any trouble and Itachi was applying himself quiet seriously to eating his dinner.

“So,” Mikoto broke the painful silence. “Sakura, how is Naruto doing lately? I asked Sasuke but he refused to give me a straight answer.” In truth, when she had asked Sasuke this question he had replied with “Disgustingly happy,” before he left the room looking like a ruffled cat.

“Oh!” Sakura put down her fork, relieved that someone had finally spoken. “He’s doing great. Did Karin tell you that he’s dating out friend Hinata? I think you know her father, Hiashi?”

“Yes, we do. They’re old friends of the family. Sasuke,” she said reprovingly, “You didn’t mention that Naruto-kun and Hinata-chan had started dating.”

“Didn’t come up,” Sasuke mumbled, pushing his broccoli around on his plate a bit before putting his fork down. He sighed and looked up at the high ceiling.

“Well, they make an excellent couple. I hope they’ll be very happy together. I’m sure they’ll last out the bumpy road. There’s no one I know that’s as understanding as Hinata or as loyal as Naruto.”

“Yeah, but only if they get through that first awkward moment where you see each other naked for the first time after sex,” Karin put in. Sakura rolled her eyes to the ceiling. Mikoto pursed her lips and sipped her wine. Fugaku choked on his drink and slammed his glass down on the table, coughing.

“Is that really necessary?” Itachi asked, reaching over to thump his father on the back.

“Yup,” Karin grinned and popped a ravioli pocket in her mouth. She chewed, still grinning and looked at Sasuke. Mikoto had a dreadful feeling in her stomach.

“Speaking of getting naked,” Karin said.

“Which we weren’t,” Sakura pointed out, clearly trying to divert the conversation. Karin ignored her, as Mikoto had expected she would.

“I think it’s time the truth came out. Mom, Itachi you already so, so that’s okay. But Daddy, Sasu-face, I have something to tell you.”

“What?” Fugagku asked. It was the first time he’d spoken all evening.

“I’m not a wedding planner,” Karin said calmly. “I’m a stripper.”

As predicted the reaction of the two men was spectacular. Fugagku nearly fell out of his chair in shock and was probably close to have a heart attack. He immediately started spluttering and turned red. Sasuke sat there for a long moment, very still, every muscle in his body tight.

“What?” he asked flatly. Karin’s face broke out into a grin.

“I’m a stripper,” she repeated. Mikoto placed her elbows on the table and delicately massaged her temples. Sasuke stood up so quickly he knocked his chair over. Itachi raised an eyebrow but didn’t stop his fork’s journey from the plate to his mouth. Sakura reached for her wine, paused and looked at Sasuke. She seemed to think better of it when he started shouting and drank her three quarters full wine glass in one fell swoop.

Through the chaos, Mikoto looked around. Sasuke and Karin and Fugaku were shouting at each other. Karin was clearly enjoying herself. Itachi had moved his plate off the table to save it from getting over turned. Sakura was watching the proceedings with slightly narrowed eyes, her head tilted to the side. She looked at Sasuke’s full wine glass.

“Do you think he’s going to drink that?” she asked Mikoto. Mikoto shook her head and Sakura picked up his glass. She sipped it delicately.

“So, Sakura, how are things at the hospital?” Mikoto asked her guest. Just because the rest of her family had forgotten their manners didn’t mean she was going to fall into anarchy with them.

“Oh, it’s going really well. I got off the surgery circuit a few days ago which is nice, because I don’t have to spend whole days cutting someone open. I got switched to pediatrics, which is great because the kids are always so cheerful.”

“I think Tsunade mentioned a new clinic the last time I talked to her,” Mikoto said.

“Yeah, she’s just approved the building order. The construction team breaks ground tomorrow. I think I’m going to pick up a few shifts in the clinic as well. It’s not serious work, but I still get to help people out and it’s better than sitting at home and doing nothing.”

It wasn’t a long conversation, but the shouting had stopped. Sasuke righted his chair and sat down. Fugaku had stormed out of the room. Itachi replaced his plate on the table and continued eating like nothing had happened. Sakura discreetly slid the now empty wine glass back over in front of Sasuke. He reached for his glass, steaming mad and stoped dead.

“Who drank my wine?” he glared around the table. His freezing gaze fell on Sakura. She swallowed the last sip of wine and smiled, guilt written all over her face.

“Wine gnome?” she offered. Karin snorted, tossing her broccoli up in the air before catching it between her teeth. Mikoto rolled her eyes and decided to salvage the evening before Sasuke could do any more damage.

“Why don’t we finish up in here and then go to the living room? I have a fresh baked cake that is waiting for us to eat it,”

“Sounds good, Mom,” Karin said, shoving her plate away. She stretched her arms over her head. “I’ll go get Dad,” she offered.

“Perhaps it would be more prudent for me to do that. You know, since he might be in the process of writing you out of his will,” Itachi smirked, getting up from his place at the table. Karin threw her napkin at him.

“He might be writing you out as well. You’re an enabler.”

“Karin,” Mikoto said sharply. She noticed the tense air between Sasuke and Sakura rise again. What ever problem they were having required some alone time to work out.

“Why don’t you help me get the cake organized?”

Even Karin could sense the no nonsense tone in her mother’s voice. She got up from the table and winked at Sakura. She ruffled Sasuke’s already messy hair on her way out, slamming the door behind her and Mikoto. Mikoto only hoped that Sasuke had enough sense not to screw this up. Although, after observing all the men in her life, her hopes weren’t very high.

“Don’t sweat it, Mom,” Karin said, tossing an arm around her shoulders. “Sakura’s a lot smarted than Sasuke. And did you know that he actually speaks in full sentences around her?”

Mikoto couldn’t resist a theatrical gasp. She had had her suspicions ever since the garden party.

“Sakura won’t let it get out of hand. And I don’t think Sasuke wants to fuck this up either.”

“I hope you’re right, darling,” Mikoto said. “I hope you’re right.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I recall being weirdly proud of the "wine gnome" line for some reason.


	14. Cameo Lovers

The silence that descended on the table when the door shut behind Karin was physically heavy. Sakura felt her shoulders droop because of it. Instead of letting it get to her she straightened her back with some effort and folded her hands tightly in her lap. She let the silence sit and stared at her half empty plate. At some point Sasuke was going to have to man up and talk first.

“Wine gnome?” he asked incredulously. “You must think I’m really stupid.”  
Sakura snorted. She bit her lips to hold back the unreasonable giggles that were threatening to overpower her. She turned her head away and covered her mouth with one hand. He was still stuck on that?

“Seriously?” she asked when she’d gotten herself somewhat under control. “You’re still on that?”

“You drank my wine and your excuse was a wine gnome is the real culprit? That’s pretty weak, even for you,” Sasuke said. He shoved his plate away and crossed his arms across his chest (yum).

“What is that supposed to mean?” Sakura snapped. When he didn’t answer she decided that his stupidity had gone long enough. “I had dinner with Itachi the other night.”

“What?” he snapped, turning to face her. He uncrossed his arms and clenched his fists against his thighs.

“I had dinner with Itachi,” Sakura repeated. She dropped out of the conversation for a minute to mentally drag herself away from thoughts of the cords of hard muscle she knew were lying just below his skin, always hot to the touch.

“What did he want?” he sounded angry with slightly anxious undertones.  
“He told me,” Sakura stood up and refilled her wine glass. “That you were a total idiot when it came to women,” she sipped her wine. “And he offered to date me so I would know what it was like to be with a real man,” she enjoyed the angry flush that spread over Sasuke’s cheek bones. She hid her smirk in her wine glass and leant down, tilting his chin up with one slender finger. “Relax, big boy, I said no.”

Casually tossing her hair over one shoulder Sakura walked over to the window, her heels clicking softly on the dark wood floor. She wasn’t quite sure what had gotten into her. When she was mad at someone she told them outright, but for some reason with Sasuke she was baiting him, pushing his buttons. She wanted an over the top, totally unreasonable reaction from him.

 

“I’ll be right back,” Karin said to her mother. She slipped out of the living room and leaned against the door to dial Suigetsu’s number. Ever since the lake she was feeling very happy. She wasn’t normally the kind of girl who called her boyfriend when she got lonely or when she was missing him, but then again, she’d never really had a serious boyfriend before.

She tapped her fingers against the wood panelled wall of the hall as she waited. The phone rang three times before someone picked up, answering in a sleepy, ragged, feminine voice.

“ _Hello?_ ”

Karin felt like her blood had suddenly turned to molasses and wasn’t making it to her heart.

“ _Hello?_ ” the woman on the other end asked again.

“Hi, who is this?” Kairn asked, trying her hardest to keep her voice steady. She was biting the inside of her cheek to keep from shouted obscenities through the phone. She was a stripper and a little bit of a slut. She knew a sex voice when she heard one.

“ _This is Rina. Who is this?_ ” the sex voice asked, souding irritated.

“This is Karin,” Karin said sharply. Who the fuck was Rina?

“ _Do you want to talk to ’Getsu? Because I think he’s still asleep,_ ” Rina said.

“No,” Karin said, gritting her teeth. “No, that’s okay. In fact, Rina,” she said, sweetening her voice. “Don’t even tell him I called. I don’t want to worry him over the STD tests. It’s not a big deal.”

Then she hung up. That should scare the bitch off. She stalked away from the living room and up the stairs. With each step she felt like someone was punching her in the stomach, trying to make her crumble, but she just gripped the hand railing tighter and pulled herself up the last flight. She stiffened her back and walked down the dark hall to Itachi’s old room, before he moved out. If he wasn’t in their father’s study he would be here. The light under the door told her she had guessed right and she  
knocked.

“Come in,” Itachi called. “Oh, Karin,” he frowned. “You have a rather terrifying look on your face so this can’t be about the cake. What happened?”  
Karin put her phone on the desk next to his elbow and pointed at his computer.

“I need you to find out about someone named Rina.”

“All right,” Itachi said, shrugging. He never questioned her motives for doing things. That was one of the great things about her brother. “Do you know anything else about her? It would make the search a lot easier.”

“She should be coming out of Suigetsu’s apartment,” Karin said. She wrote the address and suite number on a sticky note and picked up her phone.

“Karin, I don’t usually do this, but as a private investigator I’m naturally curious. Why do you want to know about her?”  
Karin turned around and narrowed her dark eyes at her brother. She twisted her red hair over her shoulder and shrugged. “If you called your boyfriend and a strange woman picked up the phone wouldn’t you be curious?”

Then she left, shutting the door so Itachi would know that she didn’t want to talk about it. She was already having trouble keeping herself from throwing something into the wall. For a moment she grimly imagined that a vase smashing into a million pieces against the dark walls would mimic her heart being shattered. Then she shook her head and told herself to stop being melodramatic. After all, she was Karin, not Ino. She didn’t do melodrama over guys. Guys did melodrama over her.

 

 

“So are you going to tell me what the hell is going on with you? Or am I just going to get visited by the alcoholic wine gnome from now on?” Sasuke asked. He didn’t really mind that he sounded like an asshole. Itachi had totally screwed him over.

“I’m not the one who has to explain myself,” Sakura leaned against the wall next to the window, crossing her ankles and sipping her wine again. “You’re the one who sucks at dealing with women.”

Sasuke hadn’t actually ever wanted to hurt a woman before. Except maybe Karin, but she had nails and stilettos. He had seen his little sister take down football players twice her size for calling her a slut. So he didn’t feel bad about wanting to throw something at her occasionally because I knew she would destroy him for it. but he wasn’t so sure about Sakura. She was so delicate looking in her tight black pants, strappy heels and loose champagne coloured camisole. She certainly didn’t look like she usually did, hair messily tied back, baggy sweatpants and a t-shirt with holes in it.

Usually she looked a bit like she was one of the boys. But right now, standing across the room from him in her dinner clothes she looked like a callous sophisticate. She seemed distant and alluring at the same time.

He shook himself to banish these thoughts. He was supposed to be angry at her. They were having a fight and it was definitely not the right time to be thinking about what she would look like out of those clothes, soft, silky curls tumbling around her shoulders and he wove it through his fingers.

“Shit Sakura!” he shoved his chair back and crossed the room in a few strides. “Just tell me what I did!”

“Hmm,” Sakura hummed. She put her glass down on a side table near the window and looked up at him. She dragged her teeth over her bottom lip. Sasuke clenched his jaw in a conscious effort not to grab her and kiss her. “Take a wild guess,” she said meanly.

“Is this about…the cabin?” he asked.

“Gosh, you think that maybe that’s it?” Sakura asked. If she put anymore sarcasm into that sentence she probably could have slapped him with it. All of a sudden his odd urge to push her, to hurt her was gone. She was angry about the cabin. He felt his stomach slowly turn to ice. She didn’t feel the same way he did. She didn’t love him at all.

 

 

“Hey,” Suigetsu felt someone shaking him awake. He rolled over and saw Rina, her blue eyes blazing, her dark hair tied back. She had her clothes on, her purse slung over her shoulder. Suigetsu sat up.

“Leavin’ so soon?” he rasped, tugging his blanket up over his waist. She slapped him across the face. Hard. “What?”

“Karin called,” she hissed. “She said not to worry about the STD tests.”  
Then she was slamming out of his apartment. Suigetsu groaned and fell back into his pillows.

Karin.

He sat up slowly, his cheek stinging and his head pounding slightly. This is what he got for getting drunk alone. He wound up in bed with a random girl and someone he actually cared about and didn’t want to hurt ended up hurt. He wanted to call her but he thought that he should maybe wait until he was not hungover.

Then he thought that Karin would be even angrier if he waited. So he compromised. He sent her a short but earnest text message (and guys, this is always a bad idea. Just call her. Seriously).

 **To: Karin**  
 **From: Suigetsu**  
_I’ll call you tomorrow to explain about Rina. Thanks for saying I have STD’s. I deserved that one._

Then he turned his phone off and fell back into a fitful, nightmare plagued sleep. In his nightmares he was running from every girl he’d ever slept with including Rina. Then, in the dream, he would round a corner and Karin would be standing there, dressed in her stripper clothes, holding a really big knife. And in his dream he knew exactly what she was going to cut off.

Mikoto looked out of the living room door when she heard a door in the distance slam. Sasuke was standing in the hall, looking dejected. She frowned.

“Who was that?” she asked. Although, judging from Sasuke’s slouched posture, like he was crumbling inward, she already knew.  
“  
Sakura got a call from work. Something about a kid in the emergency room. The regular pediatric surgeon was out so they called her.”

“Oh, honey,” Mikoto put her hand on his shoulder. “Don’t worry, it’ll work out.”

“Yeah, sure Mom,” he mumbled. “I think I’m going to head home. Can I take some cake for Naruto?”

“Of course you can,” Mikoto said. “You go get your coat, I’ll pack it up for you,” she started to turn away from her son and paused. “Sasuke, whatever there is between you and Sakura,” she stopped for a moment, wondering what to say.“Sweetie,” she walked back over to him. “You are so much like your father. You’re very proud and strong and silent. But your father only got the woman of his dreams because he smartened up and learned to talk,” she patted his cheek. “I don’t think it’s you that Sakura is angry with. I think it’s your lack of communication.”

And she left Sasuke standing in the doorway, looking bewildered, and, she thought, slightly hopeful.

 

Tenten was literally shaking she was so terrified. She had just gotten out of the shower and she could hear him pacing around in the hallway, talking on the phone.  
Going from her small one bedroom apartment to Neji’s house was a little bit of a shocker. She was used to having just enough space for herself. Now there was too much space for the two of them. If reverse suffocating was a thing then this was what  
it would feel like.

She wrapped herself in a towel and cracked the door open an inch. Neji was standing a couple of feet away, back to her, snarling down the phone at someone. Probably work related. She rolled her eyes and closed the door. Now she had a real dilemma. How was she supposed to get to her clothes if Neji was standing right in front of the goddamn bedroom door?

Tenten sat on the edge of the tub and dragged her fingers through her straggly wet hair. She flicked her head forward and back, forward and back, forward and back, forward and back, forward and ba-

“Tenten, what are you doing?”

Tenten lifted her head slowly, pushing her knotted wet hair out of the way.

“I was waiting for you to move so I could get my clothes,” she said in a small voice. Neji’s eyebrows shot up his forehead.

“Uh huh,” he said. “You know that you do live here right? You don’t have to wait for me to move. You can actually move me if you want to.”

Tenten stood up and nudged him out of the way. “I didn’t want to interrupt your call. It sounded like you were firing someone or something.”

“Tenten,” Neji sighed. “I wish you had interrupted that call. Because now we have to  
go to dinner at my uncle’s house next weekend. And I hardly ever fire people. I’m not an asshole.”

“Oh fuck!” Tenten said cheerfully. Yes, Hiashi scared the shit out of her, but there was nothing funnier that seeing Neji acting like he had a stick up his bum. Especially if she was the one who got to loosen him up afterwards.

“Why do you sound so excited?” Neji asked, narrowing his eyes. He tossed his cell phone on to the bedside table and sat on the bed.

“Because,” Tenten manoeuvred herself between his knees. She slowly loosened the towel she had wrapped tightly around her body. “If you manage to survive dinner with your uncle won’t coming home be so much better?” She let the towel fall, smirking as Neji’s jaw dropped.

“When,” he asked, running his hands up her thighs until they came to rest around her waist, “Did you get your navel pierced?”

“Two days after I moved in.”

“I don’t know why,” Neji ran his fingertips over the sparkling jewels, “But that is so hot for some reason.”

“For some reason?” Tenten asked incredulously. “It’s because it’s me that it’s hot.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, I have nothing to add about this chapter. I'm mostly only putting in notes here to be consistent.


	15. Where Does the Good Go

_“Now, Sakura,” Itachi said, folding his napkin on his lap. “I know you are currently harbouring feelings of utter rage toward my brother. And I do know the reason for this.”_

_Sakura opened her mouth, to mutter some expletive and cuss Sasuke and Itachi out but Itachi held up a hand._

_“Please, let me finish,” he said calmly. “Firstly, understand that everything my brother told me will be taken to the grave. Second, I think it is important that I hear your version of events before I try to give any advice to either of you. And I believe I mentioned it before, but for Sasuke to call me asking for help, he would have to be feeling an enormous amount of self-loathing.”_

_Sakura glared at him but she didn’t interrupt. Instead she propped open her menu and perused the food choices while Itachi talked. She tried to look like she didn’t really care what he was saying but she was really hanging on his every word. As blandly and detachedly as possible, she told him her version of events from the cabin._

_“Now,” Itachi said, setting his menu aside. “I’m going to tell you something about Sasuke. He’s a bit impaired.”_

_Sakura snorted. “Yeah, I knew that.”_

_“Not like that,” Itachi said. “When he was younger Sasuke had a speech impediment. He was bullied terribly in grade school. Naruto was his only friend. And I hate to admit it, but my father and I weren’t exactly supportive of him either. Only my mother and Karin were remotely good to him in earlier years. It’s not something I’m proud to admit, but there it is.”_

_Sakura had to make a conscious effort to close her mouth. Whatever she was expecting, it wasn’t this._

_“He grew up, forcibly taught that not speaking was less painful than speaking. That is the main reason behind his lack of communication skills. Some people, like Naruto and my mother and Karin, learned to read his body language. Other people, like my father and I, learned that making him angry made him speak his mind,” Itachi paused to sip his water. “But you are the only person I have ever met who talks to him to make him speak.”_

_“I don’t think I follow,” Sakura said, setting her menu aside._

_“You talk to Sasuke and he responds. You treat him like you treat everyone else. And I think he unconsciously senses that you don’t expect anything from him beyond his own capabilities. So I hope you can excuse his inability to always say what he is feeling or thinking. A lifetime of keeping his mouth shut to avoid ridicule at the hands of his family has made him a bit of an emotional recluse.”_

_Sakura didn’t even answer when the waiter asked for her order. There wasn’t really anything she could say._

 

“Hello, you’ve reached Fugaku and Mikoto. We’re not in right now, so leave us a message and we’ll get back to you!”

*beeeep*

“Um, hi, Mrs. Uchiha, it’s Sakura. I’m sorry for having to step out so suddenly. I don’t know if Sasuke said but the hospital called. The on-call pediatric surgeon was unreachable and I was the nearest available qualified surgeon. I just wanted to call and say thank you for dinner. Also, I wanted to know if you might want to go out for lunch together some time since we had to cut the evening short. Anyway, it’s late, so I should let you go now. But let me know about lunch and thank you again for dinner.”

*click*

**1 New Voicemail**

 

Sasuke was lying face up on his bed. He’d tried going to sleep, but tossing and turning had never really been his style. He also thought about talking to Karin or Naruto about the inner turmoil he was suffering, but Karin had vanished after Sakura left and Naruto was out on a date with Hinata. So, instead of talking to someone who might want to listen, he pushed the feeling of unease down and rolled over on his side. He was just beginning to doze off when he heard the front door close quietly. He rolled over and looked at the clock.

3:00

It was three in the morning. He sat up and pushed the blankets back. There was a clacking of keys being placed on the wooden side table followed by an oddly muffled thud. Sasuke stood up and walked softly down the carpeted hall and around the corner.

Even in the darkness he could see her, sitting on the floor up against the wall, knees pulled up to her chest, fingers plucking at her coat sleeves as she bit her lips. Her eyes were clenched shut, head tipped back. Something between a gasp and a sob caught in her throat. She clamped one hand over her mouth.

“Sakura?” Sasuke walked around the corner and squinted through the darkness at her. “Sakura, are you all right?” he knelt next to her on the floor, frowning. This close to her he could see her long hair spilling over her shoulders, her exposed neck muscles tight. Her coat was half open, green scrubs exposed. Impatiently she scrubbed her fists over her eyes. Sasuke gently pulled her hands away from her face.

“Sakura,” he said leaning closer, “What happened?”

She opened her eyes, and this time she couldn’t stifle the horrible, gut wrenching sob that tore through her. Her whole body jerked and she gasped. Tears had started to carve silent paths across her face. She took deep breathes, trying to steady herself.  
Sasuke could feel her pulse beating wildly in her wrists.

“I c-couldn’t –” she cut herself off, turning away from him. He let go of her wrists and carefully turned her head back to face him.

“It’s okay, you can tell me,” he said. Sakura tried to take a breath but a gasping half-scream escaped instead. Her green eyes were bloodshot. “Take your time,” Sasuke said.

“I couldn’t save him!” Sakura burst out, hiccoughing. She bit her lips shut again as a fresh wave of grief crashed over her. Her slender body shook with the force of it. “He was just a little boy.”

Sasuke felt his stomach drop as he put the facts together. She had been called away to perform surgery. Pediatrics called her in. Oh god. Suddenly Sasuke wanted her to stop talking but now that she started she couldn’t seem to stop.

“I tried so hard, I tried everything I swear!” she desperately grasped at his loose cotton t-shirt, looking for something to anchor herself to sanity. She seemed to close up, turning inward, away from him. She was always away from him. “He was so small.”

Sasuke pulled her up to her feet. He leant back against the wall behind him and pulled her into his arms. Whether it was this gesture of affection, or simply because she needed to, Sakura broke down completely, beating her delicate fists against his chest helplessly as terrible sobs ripped from her body. He could feel her tears seeping through the thin fabric of his shirt and he held her tighter, gently rubbing her back between her shoulder blades, murmuring into her soft hair that everything was going to be okay. He prayed to god, any god that was listening, that she wouldn’t ask why she couldn’t save the little boy. He prayed that she would sleep peacefully through the night. And luckily there was someone listening, because once she had exhausted her grief Sakura sagged against his chest, sleep slowly pulling her under.

Sasuke lifted her carefully and took her to her room. He hung her coat on the back of the door and set her sneakers at the foot of the bed. Checking that she was wearing a shirt underneath, he pulled of her scrub top and left it with her coat.

“Mmm, Sasuke,” Sakura mumbled. He looked at her. Her eyes were half-open, lips parted. “Stay.”

Sasuke struggled with himself for a second. On the one hand, he wanted to stay, forever. But on the other hand he wasn’t sure if Sakura would be okay with this in the morning. The first hand won the internal battle and he slid under the covers next to her. Sakura curled up against his side and nestled her head against his shoulder. Sasuke slid his arm around her and closed his eyes. With her lying next to him it was much easier to fall into sleep.

 

_Sakura,_

_Had to go to work. Called your work and said you were sick. Take a break from cooking. I’ll pick up dinner on my way home from work._

_Sasuke._

 

Sakura wrapped her blanket around her tighter her shoulders and smiled slightly at the note. It was sweet. She put it on the kitchen table and started to brew some tea. She looked at the glowing numbers on the stove. Ten after six, so Sasuke would be home soon. Naruto had left a voicemail saying that he would be out again with Hinata. She sighed and sat on the chair at the small table. Her head was pounding and her whole body felt like a truck had run over her. She didn’t get up when the water boiled, too tired to move.

She pushed her messy hair out of her face and stared at the stove. She was tired to the bone. All her muscles felt weak and wobbly and she couldn’t get the nauseas feeling out of her stomach. She was so lost in her own thoughts that she didn’t even here the front door open and close. Sasuke walked into the kitchen and dropped his bag on the floor.

“You okay?” he asked. Sakura looked up at him slowly. He was frowning, his dark eyes narrowed. Sakura nodded mutely. “Liar,” he said. He set the water boiling again and took down another mug.

“I’m not,” Sakura said quietly.

“Lying? Yeah you are. After what happened, no one would be fine after that.”  
Sakura watched as Sasuke poured them both some tea and set one mug in front of her. He sat across from her and looked at her closely.

“Fine,” she said. “A little boy died on my watch and I was the one who had to tell his parents that their son was never going to make it past five. I let a child die!”

“Not being able to save him and not doing anything to save him are two different things,” Sasuke said. Sakura wanted to throttle him. He just didn’t get it.

“I’ve lost people before but it’s different when you lose a child. It’s different because you know that they haven’t lived.”

“You’re a damn good doctor Sakura, so I know that that kid didn’t die because of something you screwed up,” Sasuke said. He wrapped his fingers around his mug.

“But there’s always going to be someone you can’t save. He didn’t die because you screwed up, he died because he was the one you weren’t supposed to save.”

He said it gently, but Sakura felt like he stabbed her in the gut. She felt another gut wrenching sob rip out of her body. The sound of a chair scraping back was lost on her as Sasuke appeared at her side.

“Here,” he pulled her up and hugged her to him again. “You’re tough, you’ll be okay.”  
Sakura shook her head. No she wouldn’t.

“Yeah you will. It’ll take a while but you’ll be okay.”

He sounded so sure, so certain, that Sakura didn’t shove him away or yell and throw things. She just let him hold her in his arms, feeling his steady, strong body supporting her.

 

This is nice. Sasuke thought, tugging the blanket over her shoulders. He was sitting  
on the couch, Sakura curled up at his side. The remnants of their first take-out dinner in months were littered around the kitchen. The TV wasn’t on and they weren’t talking, but it was nice. It was nice to just sit and relax with someone. There was no pressure with Sakura, not ever.

“Itachi said you were bullied a lot in school because you had a speech impediment when you were a kid,” Sakura said.

“Itachi’s an asshole,” Sasuke responded immediately. Sakura snorted quietly. “But he wasn’t lying.”

“He also said that’s why you suck at talking to people.”

“He is not wrong,” Sasuke wasn’t really loving the direction this conversation was going in.

“Is that why you never said anything to me at the cabin, after…you know,” Sakura hesitantly sat up, taking the blanket and her body heat with her. Sasuke felt very cold all of a sudden.

“I just – fuck. Sakura, I already know I’m a total screw up so could we just let this one go? I already have to spend the rest of my life avoiding your psycho blonde friend.”

“Ino?” Sakura asked, surprised. “Why do you have to avoid her?”

“Because she told me if I fucked things up with you she was going to kill me. Or something like that.”

Sasuke stole a quick glance at Sakura. She looked absolutely livid.

“Bitch,” she spat, glaring. Sasuke looked back at her, surprised. “Not you. Ino.”

“Why?” he asked, keeping his questions as short as possible.

“She has the nerve to interfere with my life when she’s the one who totally messed everything up anyway.”

“Maybe she’s just worried about you,” Sasuke offered weakly. He preferred not to get in the middle of a girl fight.

“Is that why you were poking around in my business? Because of Ino? Did she ask you to do that?”

“No, she didn’t ask me to do anything. I just thought that maybe, since you two are best friends, you might want to make up with each other sometime.”

Sakura was silent for a moment. Sasuke thought she might be seriously thinking about talking to her annoying friend.

“I’m not doing anything. She’s the one who screwed up, she has to fix it.”  
Of course, they were both as stubborn as mules.

“Fine,” Sasuke said. “Whatever.”

“Don’t take that tone with me,” Sakura said, warningly.

“I’m not taking a tone,” Sasuke said petulantly.

“And stop pouting.”

“I’m not pouting. I don’t pout,” Sasuke muttered.

“Really?” Sakura raised an eyebrow. “Because it looks an awful lot like you’re pouting. Look at that lip.”

Sasuke jerked his head around, pulling his face into a glare. Sakura smirked at him and kicked her feet back up on the couch. She rested her heels against his lap and stretched back, arms above her head, over the armrest of the sofa. Sasuke let his eyes follow the smooth, curvaceous line of her body. He snapped his eyes down to her feet when she straightened up.

“Were you just –”

Sakura got cut off by the front door slamming open and Suigetsu diving across the room, leaping over the back of the couch and taking cover. Sasuke looked toward the door. Sakura peered over the back of the couch looking mildly interested.

“YOU LITTLE FUCK! WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?”

Sasuke tilted his head back and puffed out a sigh. _Of course_ Karin was on the other end of this madness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, yes. The saddest chapter.


	16. Raise a Little Hell

It was impossible, at the moment, to feel any sympathy towards Suigetsu, no matter how very sorry he may be. Sakura cracked her knuckles and shooed Karin into her bedroom. Then she shut the door and wedged a chair under it so Karin wouldn’t come storming out in a fit of rage. Then she had to restrain Sasuke by forcing him into the kitchen and barricading the entrance with the table and chairs. Sasuke glared at her, pointed out that he could move the stuff if he wanted to and sat on the floor when she shouted at him.

And now that that was done she was sitting across from Suigetsu, perched on the coffee table, delivering her best glare. He looked like he was somewhere between wetting himself and throwing up. Good.

“So, Rina?” she said acidly. Suigetsu flinched. “And you think texting her to tell her that you’re going to explain is good enough?”

“Not really,”Suigetsu mumbled.

“Because at this point it’s not an explanation she wants. She was to cut your balls off. And I don’t really see why I should stop her.”

“NO! Please, please stop her!” Suigetsu pleaded. Sakura snorted. Men were pitiful when it came to their balls.

“Convince me,” Sakura said. She folded her arms and glared at him. Suigetsu gulped. He was afraid. Good.

 

Tenten was really having quite a good time. She never knew that being Neji’s official girlfriend/living partner would be so entertaining. Of course it helped that his family (with the exception of Hinata, her best friend and Hanabi, her partner in illegal crime) was completely ridiculous. She caught Hanabi’s eye over a platter of some pasta dish and quickly turned her snort of laughter into a not-so-delicate cough.

Hinata had long given up on relieving the tense atmosphere, preferring instead, to sit with her face hidden in her hands. Naruto was looking at his plate with exaggerated interest, clearly praying that this was all some horrible nightmare. Hanabi added fuel to Hiashi’s fire by feeding her boyfriend, Konohamaru, and taking bits of food off his plate to try. She occasionally would kiss him on the mouth. Konohamaru looked petrified. Tenten grinned into her wine glass and reached below the table, feathering her fingers up the smooth fabric covering Neji’s thigh.

 

Sasuke got bored while he was sitting on the kitchen floor so he dismantled Sakura’s barricade and went to talk to his sister. He wanted to smash Suigetsu’s face in but he refrained because he knew Sakura would not appreciate the violence.

“Hey,” he said, closing the door behind him. Karin was sitting on Sakura’s bed with her head in her hands. Only the small light on the makeshift night table was on. “How are you doing?”

Karin’s answer was muffled by her hands. Sasuke sat down next to her and she leaned her head on his shoulder. Sasuke rested his cheek against the top of her head. Karin was always so tough and expressions of sibling affection were rare in his family. He shifted on the bed and hugged her tightly. He didn’t say anything but he could feel her shaking and he knew she was crying. Karin never let anyone see what she really felt.

“Sakura’s out there giving him hell,” he said. “If it makes you feel any better.”

There was no response.

“Would it make you feel better if I went and kicked the shit out of him?”

“It would make me feel better if you and Sakura would stop beg so dumb and fall in love with each other already,” Karin said quietly. Sasuke raised his eyebrows. Not only did she sound like a petulant child, but it actually sounded like she was blaming him for this.

“Now wait just a second,” he started to say.

“No, you wait just a damn second,” Karin cut him off, whacking his leg. “You need to shut up and listen to your little sister for once. You haven’t had a serious girlfriend in years. I think the last one you had was when you were working at the extension company in Oto. And Sakura has NEVER had a serious boyfriend. EVER. But that’s because she’s married to her job. And you are the first guy she’s been around that she hasn’t been mortally offended by and tried to murder. So I think, because you two are both lonely, that you need to wake up and smell the coffee. Because you like Sakura and Sakura likes you. You know how I know that? Because I’m fucking amazing and if I say you are going to get married and give Mom grandkids then it had better happen.”

“Oh I get it,” Sasuke said at the end of her rant. “You’re doing this so you can still get your inheritance without having to fall victim to the “Baby Clause”. Hmmm, nice try, but you’re going to need better motivation than that.”

“There is nothing wrong with my motivation. I love my big brother and I love my best friend and I don’t want stretch marks,” Karin said, flipping her red hair back. “Now, I’ll leave you to think about that. It’s been twenty minutes and Sakura should have terrified Suigetsu into apologizing by now.”

Sasuke watched Karin flounce out of the room. He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. It wasn’t untrue that he liked Sakura. But it was also true that he wasn’t really into the whole ‘daddy’ thing. Seriously, there were some things you didn’t really consider when you were only twenty seven with a career in an upward spiral. Having kids was one of those things. For starters, he’d need to have a wife.

“Jesus,” he shook his head and got up. He was too tired and too frazzled to think about this now. But he would have to start considering it soon. Karin wasn’t going to let it rest for long.

 

“So,” Hanabi said, leaning against the railing of the patio. She wrapped her coat tighter around her and raised an eyebrow at Tenten.

“So what?” Tenten asked. She was looking out at the huge expanse of gardens that  
covered the Hyuuga estate.

“Are you and Neji going to get married?”

Tenten chocked on some saliva. “What?”

“You two looked pretty cozy during dinner.”

“Well I could ask you the same thing about Konohamaru. Your dad is certainly expecting wedding bells soon.”

Hanabi made a face. “Eh, me and Kono were thinking of just going common law. It’s much less hassle and I don’t have to do the big white princess dress either.”

“Yeah, but then you’ll become the go to bridesmaid. You know that Naruto and Hinata are going to get married and when they do you’ll be the maid of honour. Do you really want to go there?”

“Ugh, no. I’ll just make sure I’m one vacation when it happens then,” Hanabi rolled her eyes and stuffed her hands in her pockets. “Why are you out here anyway? It’s freezing.”

“I needed to think for a minute,” Tenten said. She twisted her hands together against the cold and looked over her shoulder into the house. Naruto was sitting a little bit apart from the Hyuuga’s, talking to Konohamaru. Neji and Hinata, each in varying degrees of discomfort, were trying to hold a conversation with Hiashi. It looked to be rather one sided however; Hiashi was doing most of the talking.

“What about?” Hanabi asked.

“Marriage,” Tenten sighed. “If I keep this up with Neji then it’s going to be expected that we get married. And you know how much I hate marriage.”

Hanabi snorted and rolled her eyes. Hatred for marriage was a gross understatement in Tente’s books. She loathed the idea of being tied down. She was still uncomfortable living with Neji even though she kept it to herself.

“Hana, I can’t keep thinking about this. I’m depressing myself.”

“Well then what do you want to do?” Hanabi asked.

“I want to do something juvenile and stupid,” Tenten said decisively. “I want to do something dumb.”

Hanabi grinned and hopped over the waist high railing of the patio. She beckoned Tenten to follow her. “Then let’s go,” she said.

Tenten tossed her legs over the railing and dropped down to the ground, looking over her shoulder. No one had even noticed her and Hanabi disappearing.

“Where are we going?” she asked, picking up her pace.

“Oh I don’t know,” Hanabi shrugged. “Where do you usually do to raise a little hell?”

 

“Sak,” Karin said delicately. Suigetsu had run for it. She was a little miffed, but was more focused on her friend right now.

“What?” Sakura asked, eyebrows shooting up her head. Karin’s sudden mood swings shouldn’t disturb her anymore but it was damn eerie how she went from homicidal to interrogation expert.

“Why have you not used your feminine wiles to coerce my brother into marrying you yet?”

“I beg your pardon?” Sakura asked sharply. “What if I don’t want to get married?”

“Of course you do. You’re a modern woman but you’re not totally stupid. You need to marry someone. You’re the kind of person who gets married.”

“And you’re not?”

“Of course I’m not. That would be insane,” Karin flipped her hair back. Sakura snorted.

“We couldn’t have that now, could we?” she said sarcastically. She folded the blanket on the couch and put both her hands on her hips, glaring at her friend. “Suigetsu is long gone, so unless you’re here to help me with dinner, get out. I am not in the mood to have this discussion with you. Ever.”

“Fine,” Karin said, getting up. “But don’t come crying to me when he proposes to you and you have no idea what to do.”

“I won’t. I’ll go crying to HInata!” Sakura said. “I mean if it ever happened, which it won’t.”

Karin rolled her eyes behind her glasses and slid her shoes on. Sakura sucked at being in denial. It wasn’t even fun to bother her about it. “Sure, whatever you say.”

“Shut up, Karin,” Sakura snapped. Karin grinned at her and slammed the door. She walked down the hallway with a purpose and stood straight while she waited for the elevator. Once in the elevator she pulled out her phone and speed dialled.

“You ready to work off some of your debt?” she asked once he picked up. “Not that I’m giving you a choice.”

 

Tenten and Hanabi sat on the bleachers of their old high school watching the football field. They weren’t going to stick around to watch the sprinklers turn on and dye the football field purple but they figured for the sake of posterity that they would sit on the old bleachers and drink a few beers.

“Okay, so a few nights ago Karin calls you up and tells you to get over to Suigetsu’s?”

“Mmhmm,” Tenten nodded, chugging back another beer. “She just calls me out of the blue and when I get to his place it’s like I walked into an intervention or something.  
Everyone of Sasuke and Sakura’s friends were there. And then Karin springs her master plan on us.”

“Oh, this is something I have to hear,” Hanabi said, crushing a can underfoot.

“It’s not as diabolically brilliant as you’d expect. We’re just supposed to leave Sakura and Sasuke alone together as much as possible and hope for the best. And we have to somehow convince Sasuke to go to the annual hospital gala thing next month.”

“That’s it?” Hanabi asked, disappointed. She looked up to Karin for evil schemes and dominatrix tips.

“That’s it. A bit anti-climactic, no?”

“A bit?” Hanabi said. “A lot is more like it. I think Karin is losing her touch.”

“We’ll just have to wait until after this is over to see,” Tenten said. “But for now, we should get back. I promised to reward Neji for putting up with his uncle all night.”

“Oh god, please don’t share things like that with me,” Hanabi said. “I do not want to picture my cousin having sex with you.”

“Sounds like it’s too late,” Tenten sang, grinning. “Come on, let’s go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just made a shitty denial/Nile River pun in my head and now I'm sitting in my room alone in the middle of the night giggling to myself.


	17. Steady, or It'll Break

Suigetsu was sitting as far away from Sasuke as possible. So he was sitting at the very end of the bench with four trainees between them. Neji was sitting on the floor, wrapping his knuckles. Naruto was stretching a ways away and Kiba was just walking through the door, dusting ash off his fingers.

“I thought you were quitting?” Naruto said, looking up. The trainees were trying not to look awkward. Being surrounded by all these athletic, intimidating men was clearly making them nervous.

“I am,” Kiba said. “Then why have you got a freshly opened pack in your jacket pocket?” Neji asked, pointing. Kiba stuck his hand in his pocket and looked away, guiltily. “It’s a work in progress,” he said defensively, tossing his jacket to the side. “I can still kick your ass, pretty boy.”

“Yeah?” Neji asked, standing up. “Before or after you cough up a lung?”

“Fuck you,” Kiba snapped, glaring at him. He grabbed some bandages and sat on a bench near Naruto.

“Stop being such a pissy little brat,” Suigetsu snapped. No one was in a good mood today except Naruto it seemed.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Naruto asked him. Suigetsu looked up. He had an extremely angry look on his face.

“Nothin’,” he snapped. “Piss off, blondie,” he snapped.

“All right, Jesus. Don’t get your panties in a knot,” Naruto said. But he backed off when Suigetsu bared his teeth.

“All right gentlemen!” Itachi emerged from the back office. Suigetsu looked up and glared at him. He was the reason Karin had made him into her personal slave for the next eighty years. “As you know, my father usually heads up these evaluations, but seeing as he’s taking a week off, I agreed to take charge of these. My brother, Sasuke and his colleague, Suigetsu will be helping me monitor the evaluations. These three gentlemen, Naruto, Neji and Kiba will be conducting the evaluations. First up is Konohamaru.”

Suigetsu got up off the bench and went to stand as far from the two brothers as possible. He watched Konohamaru blankly as he went through exercises with Kiba and sparred with Neji. He wondered, briefly, if paring the kid with Neji for the free spar was the best idea seeing as he was dating his little cousin. But he quickly dismissed the idea as his thoughts wandered away to his other predicament.

What the hell was he going to do about Karin?

“Grovel man, grovel,” Naruto hissed in his ear. Suigetsu jumped.

“Jesus, fuck! What is wrong with you?” he growled.

“You’re wondering how to get out of being killed by Sasuke and win Karin back. Grovel is the only solution. Because anything short of that and you will surely lose your balls.”

“Surely? When the hell did you become Charles fucking Dickens? And a relationship guru?”

“Since I started dating Hinata I’ve been reading more. And I’m the only one of any of us that is in a normal relationship,” Naruto said.

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“What makes you say that?” he asked. “Neji and Tenten are having some sort of weird fight about commitment, you and Karin are totally in ruins, and Ino hasn’t spoken to Kiba since she found out he was smoking behind her back. Not to mention that Sasuke and Sakura are completely oblivious to each other.”

“Yeah, that makes you an expert,” he snorted sarcastically.

“No, but it doesn’t make me a moron like the rest of you,” Naruto said. “And any fool know the only way to keep a woman happy is to constantly prove that you love her.”

“Why is it that everything with women has to be difficult?” Suigetsu asked. Naruto shrugged.

“I don’t know man. I don’t know.”

 

 

“No.”

“Yes.”

“ _No_.”

“Yes, you promised!”

“NO I didn’t! When did I ever say that I would?”

“When I gave it to you? A few days before the garden party? Remember?”

Sakura sat on her bed and dragged her hands over her face. She was tired and hungry and her back and feet hurt and Karin was harassing her about that damn dress/lingerie set she’s bought her over three months ago.

“I am not going to wear that dress to the hospital gala. It’s the classiest event of the year. And that, that thing, doesn’t even qualify as a clothing item. It’s more like a badly made slip with too many holes in it.”

“Oh shut up,” Karin said, huffily. “It looks great on you and you know it.”

“Doesn’t mean I want to wear it,” Sakura shot back. She looked dubiously at the dress hanging on the back of her door.

“Why not?” Karin asked, crossing her arms and looking from Sakura to the dress and back. “It looks great? And it’s the only thing you own nice enough for the gala.”

“I don’t know,” Sakura said. “Maybe because it barely covers my ass?”

“Oh shut up, if it bothers you that much then we can take it to a seamstress and get a few inches added.”

“It does bother me that much,” Sakura said. “And thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” Karin sniffed. “All right, now let’s go shopping for what I’m going to wear!”

Sakura groaned. She should have taken Naruto up on his offer to watch the guys intimidate the trainees instead. It couldn’t have been any worse than shopping with Karin.

 

 

Sasuke was just finishing up with the last evaluation, leaning over some bleachers to write the last few notes when he heard the familiar clack of high heels on the gym floor. He looked up, ready to tell off whoever it was who dared wear heels into his gym, and paused. Sakura was leaning against the door frame, laden with shopping bags, in her sneakers, and Karin was striding across the floor, three long black garment bags tossed over her arm.

“You!” she barked, pointing a manicured crimson finger at him.

“What?” he snapped, dragging his eyes off his roommate and over to his sister.

“I brought you some suits,” she said, holding the garment bags out to him. He blinked and glared the last few lingering trainees out of the gym.

“Bye, you guys,” Sakura drawled from the door. Her hair was up in a messy bun. Shorter pieces had escaped the elastic and curled around the nape of her neck.

“Focus, O brother of mine!” Karin snapped her fingers in front of his face. “I brought you some stylish suits. The least you can do is thank me. Although, the appropriate reaction would be to stop trying to kill my almost-boyfriend, who also happens to be your best friend.”

“Why did you bring me suits?” he asked, completely ignoring Karin’s jibe about Suigetsu.

“Because, dumbass, we’re going to the hospital gala on the weekend. Duh,” Karin said. She was looking at him like his head had fallen off.

“Oh god,” Sasuke sighed. He wasn’t sure he wanted to deal with that. But their company did provide security staff for the hospital so he couldn’t miss it without looking rude. Sometimes he hated politics.

“Do we really have to go?”

“What? Of course we do! I have to support my friend!” Karin gestured wildly behind her in the direction of Sakura. Sakura was lining the shopping bags up in size order against the wall. Sasuke couldn’t help thinking that she must be really bored.

“Well it’s all right for you,” he grumbled. “You don’t have to listen to old geezers rambled on about how great they are and how their accomplishments made a difference in the world and how the younger generation could learn something from them. I actually have to deal with those people.”

“Don’t give me that look,” Karin chastised him, laying the garment bags across the bleachers. “It’s not my fault you decided to join the family business. Anyway,” she said, starting to clack away. “I have to run. We’re going to meet up with Hinata and try and get Naruto into a decent suit. So make sure you dress up. You don’t want to be shown up by your dorky best friend.”

She was out the door in a moment but came running back to whisper something in his ear. Then she was whirling away again, leaving Sasuke standing next to the bleachers, feeling like his stomach had just dropped through the bottom of his feet.

_“Oh, and by the way, you might want to hurry up and start dating Sakura before that creepy guy from Oto asks her out.”_

He clenched his fist. Creepy guy from Oto? Yeah, we’ll see about that.

 

 

“Why didn’t you come over and talk to Sasuke?” Karin tossed her bags in the back of her car. Sakura slid into the passenger seat. She shrugged. “That’s not an answer.”

“Shut up, I know. I just didn’t feel like it,” Sakura muttered. Karin sighed.

“What did he do now?”

“Nothing!” Sakura said quickly. Karin’s eyebrows shot up her forehead. “I just, I don’t know, I didn’t feel like talking to him I guess,” she sighed and rubbed her hands over her face. “I’m just not too excited about tonight I guess. There’s a whole lot of pressure on me from Tsunade already and then the rest of you meddling busybodies are all nosing into my personal life. What I really want is to just have one night to myself without anyone reading into everything I do and say.”

“Okay,” Karin said. “What?” Sakura looked at her, eyes narrowed. “Your suspicion wounds me,” Karin pretended to pout. “If you want to be left alone for the night then that’s fine. I have plenty of other people to meddle with.”

“I’m still suspicious, but thanks,” Sakura said. She settled back in her seat as Karin started the car.

“You’re very welcome,” Karin said. She looked over her shoulder as she backed out of the parking spot to hide her wicked smirk. Yeah, like hell she was going to stop meddling now.

 

 

_“Guys, I don’t know about this,” Ino said. She was standing next to Kiba, but not close enough to touch him. He was still being punished for lying to her about quitting smoking._

_“Don’t you dare back out on me now, girl,” Karin said threateningly. Ino ignored her tone of voice in favour of flicking her silky blonde hair over her shoulder._

_“I never said I was backing out, I’m just saying that I don’t know if pulling this at a charity gala for the hospital that Sakura works for is a good idea. I mean, we hardly even considered the damage this could do to her reputation if we fuck up.”_

_“Then don’t fuck up, gorgeous,” Karin said. Ino rolled her eyes. Karin was so pigheaded sometimes._

_“I’m not the one who has to worry about fucking up, K. This whole plan hinges on you,” she pointed out._

_“I’m not worried about me at all,” Karin said. “I work extremely well under pressure.”_

_“Yeah, I bet you do,” Tenten muttered. She was leaning against the wall, arms crossed, glaring at Neji who was sitting across the room from her. the moody anger radiating off the two of them was palpable._

_“Okay, seriously?” Ino snapped. “Do you think you can get over your stupid fight in time to pull this bullshit off?”_

_“No,” Tenten growled. “Fine, then fake it ‘til you make it, bitch,” Ino said._

_“All right, all right, are we going to do this or not? Because if we are I have to get home. I told Teme that I’d have his back at the gala in case that freaky biochemist from Oto shows up. Oro-something.”_

_Naruto scuffed the toe of his sneaker on the concrete. Meeting in a back alley behind a two-cent diner wasn’t exactly inconspicuous. “_

_Oh God, that guy!” Karin gasped. “He is so beyond creepy! And if he’s going to be there then so is his weirdo assistant who has this bizarre obsession with Sakura. That is bound to drive Sasuke up the wall.”_

_“So this is our new plan then?” Suigetsu asked, sarcastically. “We just make sure that this creepy bastard monopolizes Sakura for most of the night and drive Sasuke to mass murder? Good one.”_

_Karin gasped loudly and turned slowly to face him. “Honey, you are a genius!”_

_“Aside from the mass murder bit,” Tenten put in._

_“Yes, yes, whatever,” Karin waved her away. “We don’t have to do anything! If Sasuke is as stupid and possessive as I know him to be then we just have to make sure he notices creepy guy with Sakura! OH!” she jumped in the air, clapping her hands. “I have an idea! You guys just act like this whole meeting never happened. I will take care of the rest.”_

_“Why do I l-like the sound of t-that even less?” Hinata asked. Ino shrugged._

_“_ _Don’t you all have somewhere to be?” she asked._

 _“_ _Oh shit! The evaluations!” Naruto jerked his head up. “I’ll call you when we’re done, okay?” he kissed Hinata quickly and jogged to his car. Suigetsu and Neji were right behind him._

_“Hey, I’ll see you when I get home?” Kiba asked Ino quietly. “Hmm, sure,” Ino shrugged and walked over to Tenten. Kiba walked to his car slowly, not looking over his shoulder. His head was bent but he kept going. Ino half wanted him to look back and look at her again but he didn’t._

_“Hey,” Tenten clapped her on the shoulder. “Fake it ‘til you make it, right?”_

_“Well, you guys have a good day. I have to go meet Sakura for shopping. I’m taking her to my seamstress,” Karin tossed her thick red hair over one shoulder and flounced off down the alley._

_Ino sighed. She agreed with Hinata. This was a stupid ass plan._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I LITERALLY JUST DISCOVERED THE ITALICS OPTION AND AM SO VERY PLEASED.


	18. Bitch, Please

“I’m nervous,” Sakura chewed her lip and hissed in Hinata’s ear. “Why am I nervous? It’s not like Tsunade’s pressuring me to cozy up to the people from Oto so that we can gain access to their extensive bio-genetics laboratory or anything.”

“Sakura, t-take a deep b-breath and relax,” Hinata gripped her arm tightly, dragging her away from the bar with the drinks. “You just have to be p-polite and engaging.”

“Easy for you to say,” Sakura muttered, plastering a fake smile on her face. “You don’t have to dance with that creepy bastard Kabuto.” Hinata let go of Sakura’s arm when she was saw Tsunade waving her over. She patted her on the back and left Sakura to fend for herself. As much as she wanted to help, Karin had been very specific about the plan.

And staying with Sakura the whole night to help her deflect unwanted advances was not part of the plan.

“I feel bad that we’re leaving her by herself,” Tenten muttered when she accidentally bumped into Hinata by the doors of the balcony just off of the ballroom. Hinata shrugged and looked across the room at Karin who gave her a discreet thumbs up.

“S-sometimes we don’t have a c-choice,” she shook her head and stepped out into the cool night air for a moment. Tenten snorted and went off to find someone who shared her hatred of fancy parties.

Once Hinata had sufficiently frozen herself she rushed back inside to find her gentlemanly boyfriend, who would lend her his jacket. She may be the good daughter, but that didn’t mean she didn’t like to drive her father’s blood pressure up when she got the chance.

 

 

“So, Doctor Haruno,” Kabuto leered at her. Sakura cursed Karin for making her wear this damn dress. Sure, it looked great, and her ass looked hot, but she didn’t want to spend the whole night trying not to throw up.

She looked desperately around her, as Kabuto dragged her around the dance floor (it couldn’t really be called dancing because she wasn’t willing), looking for someone to save her. Of course she came up empty.

Naruto, the most likely candidate after Sasuke, was dancing nearby with Hinata, both of whom grimaced at her unlucky fate and whirled off.

Neji, who was the most unlikely candidate, was nowhere to be seen although she had seen Tenten somewhere, lurking away from people.

Kiba was standing with Suigetsu, looking completely out of it while Ino and Karin prowled around the perimeter of the dance floor apparently arguing about something.

Itachi, who was a gentleman but seemed to be otherwise engaged with a tall, lanky man with blue hair, would have been a viable option…if he wasn’t so intimately engaged with said companion.

And Sasuke was nowhere to be seen. Which was just _so_ typical.

She tried to pay attention to what Kabuto was saying (not that she cared) and tried to keep some semblance of a smile on her face. Apparently it wasn’t working because Ino appeared at her elbow, clutching her dress awkwardly at the side. It looked like she was trying to hold a tear together.

“Hey, sorry to butt in,” she said, smiling at Kabuto. “But I just need to steal Sakura away from you for a minute,” she giggled in an embarrassed kind of way, still clutching her dress at her side tightly, looking over her shoulder. “It’s kind of an emergency,” she hissed, gripping Sakura’s arm. She didn’t wait for Kabuto respond; she just pulled her away, shooting Karin a vicious look as they passed. Ino pushed open the bathroom door, checked all the stalls and then locked it.

“What the hell are you doing?” Sakura spat. Ino let go of her dress and turned to face Sakura.

“I’m saving you from that creep,” she said, twisting her hands and pressing her ear up against the door. “And Karin’s stupid plan.”

“What? What plan? And I thought we were in the middle of a fight?” Sakura said. She was less angry than confused at this point.

“Forget the stupid fight for a minute!” Ino groaned. “Can’t you just be thankful that I’m risking my life to save you from a crazy bitch?”

“What plan?” Sakura asked again. Ino sighed.

“Karin’s got some stupid plan to make Sasuke jealous by making you stick it out with that freaky bastard all night. Which is stupid because making Sasuke jealous is like moving a fucking mountain. Unless you’re Mama Earth that’s never going to happen.”

“Are you saying Sasuke doesn’t think I’m worth getting jealous over?” Sakura asked.

“What? No! You’re gorgeous and hilarious and successful and amazing and if he wasn’t jealous then he’d be a total idiot,” Ino said. “What I mean is that he’s not really the kind of guy who shows his emotions, like, ever.”

“He shows emotions!”

“Yeah? When have you ever seen him emote in public?” Ino asked. She positioned herself in front of the mirror and was fixing her hair.

“Well, never, but that’s not the point,” Sakura admitted.

“No, the point is that I’m going to die a horrible death-by-Karin for saving you from her stupid plan to make Sasuke jealous. Not that he isn’t jealous or anything, but the chances of him acting on that jealous are slim to none. Unless you let Kabuto sexually assault you in public. But that would be so beyond stupid and you’re not an idiot.”

“Are you done?” Sakura asked, crossing her arms.

“What?”

“Ino, do you even remember why we’re fighting?” she asked, pinching the bridge of her nose. Ino was like a kid sometimes and it was exhausting. “We are fighting because you kicked me out of our apartment without a heads up or any consideration for our eighteen year friendship. And I have put up with a hell of a lot of bull shit from you in these eighteen years,” Sakura said. She wasn’t really aware of her voice raising or someone banging on the door.

“Sakura?”

“I mean all you ever do is think about what is good for you. And I love you, Ino, you’re my best friend, but would it kill you to think about what someone else wants for once? Because for eighteen years I’ve been thinking about what you want and what you need and I just wish that for once in your life, when it really mattered, you had the brains to think of someone other than yourself and the ‘guy you really liked’ that none of us had ever met before,” she stopped, only in inhale and ignored the voice outside the door, calling her name.

“I want to forgive you Ino, but you act like a spoiled child, all the time! I can’t keep putting up with that bull shit because it’s been driving me crazy for years and I can’t even summon up the energy to deal with it anymore. You are so wrapped up in yourself when it really counts. I don’t care about whether or not I’d have to suffer through a whole night of Kabuto because I’ve done it before and I didn’t need you to save me! Just like I don’t need you to save me from Karin’s stupid plan! I already know what you guys are doing! I’ve known all along. And the whole time I know you’ve been freaked out that if I found out you were involved I’d be pissed. And guess what Ino, you were right! I’m pissed. I am beyond pissed off with all of you!”

“And do you know what I want?” Sakura snapped, pointing her manicured finger at Ino viciously. “I want my friends to start acting like friends and leave me the hell alone and butt the hell out of my life. Because whether or not I want to get Sasuke’s attention by making him jealous is my problem and if I wanted help with it I would have asked!”

She stalked to the door and fumbled for the lock. “And if I wanted to get Sasuke’s attention, do you know what a good plan would have been? A good plan would be _walking up to him and talking to him!_ ” she snarled, wrenching the door open and storming out.

“Sakura, hey!” Sasuke called after her. “Sakura what the hell is going on?”

Sakura spun on the spot, dress flying out around her. The cold outside air caressed her legs as she fought off a shiver. Sasuke pulled the balcony doors closed and crossed the stone terrace to her.

“What is going on?” he asked again, softer. Sakura bit her lip and turned away.

After all of that, his concern, his genuine concern that she was hurting, it made her want to cry.

 

 

Sasuke knocked back another whiskey and grimace across the room at Naruto. He was not enjoying himself, stuck standing between Sasori and Orochimaru. He shuddered inwardly and tried to follow what Tsunade was saying. It was getting difficult to pretend to give a shit about hospital politics.

Down below, over the railing of the balcony, he could see Sakura making a face at Hinata behind her dance partner’s back. Her dance partner had his hand awfully low on Sakura’s back. He tightened his grip on his glass and dragged his eyes away. Sakura could handle herself.

“Sasuke, why don’t you go talk to your brother about how to properly behave in public?” his mother hissed in his ear. Sasuke looked down over the edge of the balcony again and saw Itachi and his on again-off again boyfriend Kisame near the edge of the dance floor. He rolled his eyes and excused himself, quietly slipping away down the stairs before his father could protest.

He was busy, hissed a warning to Itachi and Kisame when he saw Ino approach Sakura and her partner out of the corner of his eye. He finished telling his brother off when Ino and Sakura disappeared behind the bathroom door. Making his way slowly around the fringes of the dance floor he paused near Karin and Tenten. They appeared to be arguing, so he slipped back into the crowd a bit to edge closer and listen in. Normally he went against eavesdropping, but everyone, including Naruto was acting bizarrely tonight and he wanted to know why.

“Karin, I don’t care if it’s not part of the plan! Ino just went completely off script and locked herself and Sakura in the ladies room. Aren’t you worried that this is all going to go south and fuck up? Ino is not the most stable person in the world.”

“Shut up, Tenten!” Karin glared. “Ino won’t screw up. She just wants a chance to talk to Sakura.”

“Yeah, and we all know for a fact that Sak is never going to talk to Ino unless she gets a sincere apology. When has Ino ever apologized for anything?” Tenten asked, snagging a glass off a tray of a waiter nearby. “She doesn’t apologize for anything. Do you think she apologized when she slept with your ex-boyfriend last year? Or when she crashed my car? No, of course she didn’t. so what the hell makes you think she’s going to apologize to Sakura. It’s not going to end all puppies and rainbows. This whole plan is going to go to shit.”

“Don’t tell me you wish you hadn’t gotten involved, because it’s a little late for that,” Karin snapped, slamming back a scotch.

“I do wish that. And I’m going to stay out of it for the rest of the night.”

Tenten put her untouched glass down and walked away, silver dress rippling as she went.

Sasuke watched Karin slam back Tenten’s drink as well before he broke from the crowd and strode over to the ladies room. Someone was shouting inside.

“Sakura?” he called, knocking loudly on the door. No one answered. Instead he heard more shouting. It was definitely Sakura and she was not happy.

He knocked again.

“And if I wanted to get Sasuke’s attention, do you know what a good plan would have been? A good plan would have been _walking up to him and talking to him!_ ”

The door wrenched open and she shoved past him, taking long strides across the dance floor and out to the balcony.

“Sakura, hey!” Sasuke called after her. “Sakura what the hell is going on?”

He lowered his voice once the balcony doors were closed and stepped toward her. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing,” she shook her head and looked away. “Nothing. I’m fine. It’s fine. Everything is fine.”

“Really? Because that shouting match you just had with Ino didn’t sound fine. It sounded very much like the opposite of fine,” Sasuke took her by the arm and lead her to the side of the balcony, out of sight. “I keep hearing about this ‘plan’ that seems to center around the two of us. And it’s definitely upsetting you. So tell me what’s going on, please?”

“It’s just this stupid thing. Karin and Ino are just being themselves as usual, with no regard for how other people feel about it,” Sakura shrugged and turned away, hugging herself.

“So why would you need to get my attention?” Sasuke leaned against the railing and looked at Sakura. She shrugged again and sighed.

“Karin and Ino and everyone apparently have this idea that we should, you know,” she trailed off. Sasuke raised an eyebrow and blew out a noisy sigh.

“Really? Is that what they think? Remind me to kill Naruto for meddling in my life.”

“So you disagree with them?” Sakura said. “You don’t think we should?”

Sasuke kept his eyes forward, looking in at the people dancing and laughing. Sakura was staring out at the dark garden.

It was heavy, the silence that descended.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I literally went back immediately and added in all the italics and bold and emphasis back into the story bc I feel very strongly about this kind of stuff.


	19. Love Me or Hate Me

**_Last time on Some Assembly Required:_ **

_Sasuke kept his eyes forward, looking in at the people dancing and laughing. Sakura was staring out at the dark garden._

_It was heavy, the silence that descended._

 

“What do you mean?” Sasuke said carefully. This was a tricky situation.

“Tell me what you think about this whole thing,” Sakura said. Neither of them looked at each other. Sasuke thought for a moment, ignoring the palpable tension. What did he think about his friends trying to mess around in his life?

Offended, that they thought he couldn’t get a girlfriend himself. Annoyed, that they were blatantly ignoring his desire to be left the hell alone. But he found he was mostly angry at their complete lack of respect for Sakura’s privacy.

“Forget it,” Sakura muttered, turning to go back inside.

“Hang on,” Sasuke pulled her back. “You asked me a question. Give me a chance to answer it.”

“I assume that this means you actually have an answer?” Sakura said.

“Yeah, I’m annoyed that our friends totally invaded our privacy and ignored the fact that we might want a say in our lives,” Sasuke said. “But that doesn’t mean I disagree with their desired outcome.”

“Congratulations,” Sakura said scathingly. “That was a great response, completely clinical and devoid of any actual emotion.”

“Well what did you want me to say? You know that I’m not really one to overshare,” Sasuke pointed out mildly.

“No, you aren’t,” Sakura agreed. “But that doesn’t mean you can’t try.”

 

 

Naruto was edging around a huge potted plant, keeping an eye out for Hanabi (who had sworn that she was going to kill him  for letting Neji spar with her boyfriend). He finally disappeared from her line of sight behind a wall and came, literally, nose to nose with Karin.

“Eep! Heh, hey Karin,” he said. He could feel a cold sweat of fear breaking out all over his body. “What’s up?”

“What’s up?” Karin hissed. “What’s up? I’ll tell you what’s up, blondie. Ino couldn’t keep her big mouth shut. That’s what’s up,” she snarled and Naruto could have sworn she was about to breathe fire. She grabbed his arm with one hand, scarlet red nails (that looked remarkably like talons all of a sudden) digging into his flesh. “Come on, we’re having a team meeting.”

Naruto gulped. This did not bode well.

 

Oh how right he was.

“Guys,” Karin viciously glared around their half circle. “You all promised not to fuck this up.”

Naruto saw Tenten’s eyes narrow. Uh oh.

“Actually,” Tenten said, “We promised to let you implement your plan. We never promised to keep it a secret.”

Naruto could have sworn the two of them were about to breathe fire at each other. Neji looked torn between saying something to calm Tenten down and booking to safety.

“If you said anything to Sakura I swear to God –“

“If the end of that sentence is a threat then don’t even bother finishing it,” Tenten snarled. “I’m out. Now excuse me, but thanks to Miss Big Mouth over there, I have to go find Sakura and grovel for her forgiveness.”

There was a long silence as Tenten swept away in her silvery-gold gown. Neji was looking after her, clearly torn between his testy girlfriend that he was in a fight with, and his loyalties to getting Sasuke laid.

“Neji,” Hinata said softly, touching his arm, “Y-you should follow her and t-talk to her. The problem isn’t going to go a-away by itself.”

Neji looked like he might argue with her but Naruto managed to catch his eye and nodded as he slipped an arm around Hinata’s waist. Neji shrugged and walked away in the same direction Tenten had gone.

Karin immediately whirled on Ino. “You told her?”

“Yeah, so what if I did?” Ino challenged.

“What were you expecting from her? Did you think she was going to forgive you for being such a shitty friend?”

“If you’re after forgiveness for being a shitty friend then don’t bother. Your chances are pretty slim.”

The small group turned slowly, freezing under the icy green glare. Sakura stood, with her arms crossed, right behind them. And she didn’t look happy. Not happy at all.

 

 

“Tenten, would you please slow down?” Neji asked. For someone who hated heels, Tenten could sure move in them.

“No,” she shot over her shoulder. “And stop following me.”

“I just want to talk to you,” he said, finally catching up to her in the empty lobby. “Can you at least answer a question for me?”

“Fine,” Tenten spun around and put her hands on her hips.

Neji took a moment to admire the way the fabric of her dress clung to her hips before falling against her thighs.

“Why exactly are you angry with me?”

“You said I was afraid of commitment!” Tenten shouted. She glared at the hotel staff who gave her a reproving look and stomped off to a small alcove out of sight. Neji followed her, holding back an exasperated sigh.

“Tenten, you are afraid of commitment. You told me that yourself.”

“That doesn’t mean I want it thrown back in my face every time a ‘together decision’ pops up!” Tenten hissed at him. Her glare could probably break stone.

“I don’t throw it at you all the time! And what the hell is a ‘together decision’?” Neji asked. Seriously, women had the stupidest names for shit.

“It’s a decision that couples make together. Committed couples who are probably going to get married and have kids and grandkids and great grandkids and die together and be buried together.”

“All right,” Neji said. He was still confused. “So you’re mad at me because what, you feel like I’m pressuring you to be more committed to this relationship?”

“Yes! That is exactly what you’re doing! And I don’t like it, so stop it.”

“I’m not trying to put any pressure on you, Tenten. And if you feel like I’m being too overbearing then you can just tell me you know,” Neji said. He chanced physical contact and reached for her hand. She jerked back. Still mad then.

Tenten turned her head away and bit her lip.

Okay, maybe she wasn’t mad.

“What’s bothering you?” he asked, keeping his voice down as a couple of people clattered past loudly.

“Nothing,” Tenten brushed him off, pushing by him to go back to the ballroom.

“No, no, no, there’s something else bothering you,” Neji managed to catch her wrist and spin her to face him. “What is it?”

“It’s nothing! Let go, I have to find Sakura,” she tried to pull out of his grip but he wouldn’t let her. They were dealing with this now.

 

 

“Hinata is excused because she was considerate enough to let me in one your little plot,” Sakura said. “And I suppose Naruto is off the hook too, but only because he pays rent. As for the rest of you –”

“Hinata! I can’t believe you told her!” Ino gasped.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Hinata snapped, her eyes narrowing, “Did I ruin your plan to win Sakura back by trying to warn her about a plan you helped instigate? Learn to swallow your pride once and a while Ino! You aren’t always right!”

“Sorry,” Naruto muttered to everyone in general before he dashed away after Hinata, looking over his shoulder to make sure he wasn’t being followed by an angry horde.

“Well that was completely uncalled for,” Ino said.

“No, see, that’s where you’re wrong,” Sakura uncrossed her arms and strode forward until she was nose to nose with Ino, “It was completely called for, because she is completely right. You are a selfish, privileged, spoiled person who will never admit that they are in the wrong Ino and I am sick a tired of dealing with it and cleaning up the messes you leave behind you,”

“And you, Karin,” she spun abruptly and jabbed her finger at Karin, “I am especially disappointed in you. I specifically asked you to leave it alone for one night. One night! I didn’t think I was asking much, considering the amount of things I’ve kept my nose out of for you. But you obviously have no respect for boundaries,”

“And you two,” she growled at Kiba and Suigetsu, “I expected you to have more respect for Sasuke’s private life. And to just bend over and let these two meddle in our lives? I thought better of you,”

“Why isn’t Sasuke here defending your honour?” Karin snapped.

“Sasuke isn’t here because he is too disgusted with you to look at you right now,” Sakura shot back. “And I don’t need him to defend my honour. I do just fine on my own.” The she turned smartly on her heel and strode off into the crowd.

 

 

Tenten took a deep breath. Okay, maybe she should tell Neji what was going on. He was doing the whole ‘good boyfriend’ thing pretty well right now. But then again, if she told him the truth…someone was definitely going to die. And that would be bad.

“Tenten, please,” he said. “How am I supposed to fix the problem if I don’t even know what the problem is?”

“Okay, one,” Tenten held up her index finger, “You’re presumption that I can’t fix the problem myself is offensive, and two,” she waved away his apology, “I don’t think telling you is a good idea because you’ll probably just make it worse. Trust me on this one,” she patted his arm. “But I’m not mad at you. Anymore.”

“Why – you know what? Never mind. You do whatever you need to do,” Neji threw his hands up. “I’m staying out of this.”

“That’s what I like to hear,” Tenten grinned. “Can I go find Sakura so I can apologize now?”

“I don’t think you’ll have to look far,” Neji said, raising his eyebrows. Tenten followed his gaze across the lobby. Sakura and Sasuke were standing about two feet apart, hissing at each other, looks of rage, in various stages, on their faces.

“You know what?” Sakura suddenly shouted, “You can go to hell, Sasuke Uchiha!”

Then she slapped him smartly across the face.

“Oh. Oh no. Oh shit,” Tenten whispered. “Maybe I should wait to apologize until later?” she said as Sakura stalked out of the lobby to coat check.

“No,” Neji said firmly. “You go talk to her and I’ll deal with that moron,” Tenten clung to his arm, shaking her head. “Go on,” he urged her.

“Well, since I’m going to die a violent death,” Tenten said turning to face him when she was a few feet away, “I just think you should know that I love you and I was planning on naming our baby after your dad,” she gave herself a moment to enjoy the stunned silence. “Okay, bye!”

Then she was striding away to find her friend. Of all the things she had planned for her life, grovelling, monogamous relationships and fancy dresses were not part of the plan. But it was okay, because the dresses were really, really pretty.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe this has taken so long. I still have six more chapters and I'm pretty sure this is the worlds worst editing job right here.


	20. Oh, Baby

“Darling?” Tenten called, peeking around the coat closet door. Okay, maybe luring out an angry Sakura like that wasn’t a good idea. She cleared her throat and revised her methods. “Sak? You in here?”

“Tenten I am not talking to you!” Sakura spat, somewhere among some fur coats.

“Sak, I came to apologize and see if you were okay,” Tenten said, finally spotting her hair. “Neji and I saw you smack Sasuke.”

“Oh fuck,” Sakura swore. “Seriously?”

“Yeah, and while I’m concerned about you, I think I should mention that it was a pretty damn good smack. I was impressed.”

“Thanks,” Sakura said, shoving some coats aside. “I’m still mad at you,” she added.

“Yeah,” Tenten sat on the floor, carefully spreading her dress around her. “I know. I should have done what Hinata did and spilled the beans. And I really wanted to. But Karin is fucking terrifying sometimes and I guess I was just tired of seeing you alone all the time. You deserve to have someone in your life that would always make you feel like the most important, gorgeous person in the world. I really thought Sasuke was going to be that guy,” Tenten dragged her nails over the carpet. “He looked so normal.”

“He’s an ass,” Sakura snorted.

“All men are asses from time to time,” Tenten pointed out.

“True,”

Sakura sat on the floor across from Tenten and they sat in silence.

“I am really sorry,” Tenten said softly. “I shouldn’t have messed around in your life. Not without your permission anyway.”

“Maybe I overreacted a little bit,” Sakura said. “I did flip out at Suigetsu and Kiba.”

“They deserve it. They’re spineless morons when it comes to their girlfriends,” Tenten said. The two of them looked at each other. For a long moment there was silence and then they both burst out laughing.

Tenten was laughing so hard her sides were aching and her throat was sore. Sakura seemed to be in a similar state. She couldn’t explain the sudden out pouring of mirth. It just happened, and all of a sudden she and Sakura were back on good terms. Everything between them was okay.

“So,” Tenten said when she’d gotten her breath back. “Why did you slap the formidable Sasuke Uchiha?”

“He was being an asshole,” Sakura said. She shrugged and tugged her hair out of his elaborate up do. “I asked him if he agreed with the whole plot to get us together.”

What did he say?” Tenten leaned forward.

“He said that he was ‘annoyed that our friends totally invaded our privacy and ignored the fact that we might want a say in our lives’ but that didn’t stop him from possibly agreeing with ‘the desired outcome’.”

“What the fuck does that even mean?” Tenten asked, sitting back. She looked incredulous. Sakura was inclined to agree.

“I have no idea. But that’s when I got pissed and stormed back inside. And after I chewed out everyone else I bumped into him again and we started having an argument over something stupid.”

“And that’s when you slapped him?” Tenten guessed.

“No, he accused me of liking Kabuto’s attentions,” Sakura said. Tenten gasped. “ _That’s_ when I slapped him.”

“Well done, you,” Tenten said. She was nodding her approval and running her hand along the mid-section of her dress.

“What about you?” Sakura asked her. Tenten looked confused.

“What about me?”

 

 

Neji spotted Sasuke sitting on a bench in the dark garden, throwing pennies into the fountain. He had a whole piled on the stone bench next to him. Neji rolled his eyes and sat down. Sasuke’s face was red on one side.

“Lucky she didn’t punch you or you’d have a pretty nice shiner in the morning,” he said. He stuck his hands in his pockets because it was still cold, even for early spring.

“Fuck off, Hyuuga,” Sasuke growled, throwing another penny. Neji sighed and settled back against the frigid stone.

“I don’t know what you and Sakura were fighting about but I would advise you to apologize and move on.”

“Thanks for the advice, Captain Obvious,” Sasuke muttered.

“Scoff all you want. You’re the one who has to live with her,” Neji pointed out, tipping his head back to look at the moon. He was going to have to apologize for meddling eventually.

“I didn’t really mean it,” Sasuke mumbled after a moment. Neji glanced at him out of the corner of his eye. He was looking down at his hands, turning a penny over and over. It was odd, seeing him looking so dejected.

“Well then tell her that,” Neji offered. “Tell her what you really meant.”

“Do you know how difficult that is?” Sasuke asked, throwing the penny as hard as he could. It bounced off the opposite side of the fountain and disappeared over the edge, into the grass.

“Actually, yes,” Neji said. “But Sakura is like Tenten that way. You can’t say anything other than what you really mean, or they won’t accept it,” Neji shrugged. “They’re straightforward people.”

“How do you survive living with that woman? She’s insane,” Sasuke said. Neji glared at him.

“Tenten is not insane, most of the time. And I survive living with her by treating her the way she should be treated: with respect.”

Sasuke snorted. Neji took a deep breath.

“It helps to know that I love her,” he added. “So don’t be an ass about this. I’m trying to help.”

“Help or meddle in my life?” Sasuke shot back, throwing the rest of his pennies at the fountain all at once.

“Help and make up for meddling,” Neji said. He sighed and stood. “Look, the only way you’re ever going to patch this up is to go up to Sakura and tell her the truth. About everything. And don’t worry about Karin and Ino,” Neji held up a hand. “I’m not afraid of them and neither is Tenten.”

He started to walk away then stopped. “I don’t know why I’m telling you this but I think I might be in deeper shit than you are,” Neji said. He turned slowly and sat heavily on the bench again. Sasuke raised a questioning eyebrow.

“Oh? The great Hyuuga is in deeper shit than the social retard?” Sasuke asked sarcastically. “How so?”

“I – oh fuck, I think Tenten might be pregnant.”

“Well,” Sasuke said. “Shit.”

“I’ve never met her crazy mother, but I’ve heard horror stories from Hinata. Apparently Anko is a nightmare,” Neji shuddered.

“Not to mention you uncle with flip a bitch when he finds out. Tenten isn’t going to marry you, you know. Baby or not,” Sasuke reminded him.

“Can you just kill me now?” Neji asked, dragging his hands over his face. “Please?”

Sasuke chuckled and patted him on the shoulder. “You’ll be fine. Between Hinata and Sakura mothering Tenten and Naruto and Konohamaru having your back with your uncle, you’ve got nothing to worry about. And besides, all we have to do is introduce this Anko woman to Karin.”

“Why would you want to do that?” Neji asked, horrified at the idea.

“Think of it like this,” Sasuke said. “Karin is a crazy bitch. So is Anko, apparently. So with any luck, they’ll kill each other.”

Neji snorted. God, even if Sasuke was a total dunce when it came to women, he wasn’t a bad friend.

 

 

“What about me?” Tenten asked, suddenly self-conscious.

“Tenten,” Sakura said, “I’m a doctor.”

“Oh balls,” Tenten flopped back against the coats. “Is it that obvious?”

“To doctors? Yeah, it is,” Sakura nodded. “Don’t worry, I’ve got your back.”

“I have no idea what I’m going to do. This kind of stuff doesn’t happen to me, you know? I’m not the one who gets saddle with all the responsibility. I’m shitty at responsibility, that’s why no one gives any to me.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Sakura waved her hand for emphasis. “You’re a great teacher, the kids you teach love you. And you’re not irresponsible, you’re just scared, which is totally normal, trust me. I’ve walked past the maternity ward enough times to know that everyone is scared at first.”

“Yeah but most of those people have families and husbands and health insurance. Oh god! If this happens Neji’s going to want to get married. I can’t handle that, Sak. I can’t get married,” Tenten shot up straight, panicked.

“Tenten, relax!” Sakura pushed her back down gently. “You don’t have to marry him. I highly doubt Neji would put that much pressure on you anyway. He knows and respects how you feel,” she sighed. “He’s good that way.”

“Hey, Sasuke is good too. He just needs a nudge now and again. He’s not used to being good for someone yet,” Tenten reassured her. “He just needs time.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It is officially 2:30 in the morning. Ok this is getting out of hand now.


	21. On My Side

“I still don’t get why you’re not forgiving Karin,” Sasuke said as he and Sakura pulled up in the supermarket parking lot. Sakura glared at him. It had been a little rocky between them, even after he apologized.

“I’ll forgive her when she means her apology,” Sakura replied frostily.

“If you say so,” Sasuke shrugged and held the door open for her. She sniffed and strutted past him with her nose in the air.

He sighed as they wandered through the aisles. He could practically feel the icy waves of anger rolling off Sakura.

“Look,” he said reaching out and taking the basket from her. “I’m just trying to figure out if there’s a way I can help make this better, okay? You’re already under a lot of stress, helping Tenten with her crisis and, I don’t know, I guess I want you to have someone to fall back on if you need it. You know, other than that blond idiot we live with.”

Sakura turned around to face him, giving him a quizzical, considering look.

“Huh,” was all she said.

“What?”

“Okay,” she nodded, before turning away.

“What does that mean?” Sasuke asked her. She popped a couple bags of vegetables into the basket and looked up at him. He felt his stomach do a little flip flop when their eyes met.

“I see your point. And I agree with it,” Sakura explained. She calmly considered the quality of an apple before putting it back and leading him down to the spices aisle.

“Okay,” Sasuke said, still not completely sure of what she meant. It was really difficult to tell if she was angry or not. “So, what are you buying all this dango for?”

“Uh, Tenten is going to break the news to her mom, and I thought it might go over better if her mom was, you know, distracted. Do they sell sake here?”

“You don’t drink sake,” Sasuke said, confused.

“No, but Tenten’s psychotic mother does. And if she’s tipsy and full of her favourite food she won’t try and kill Neji,” there was a pause where Sakura seemed to be considering something. “Or at least I think she won’t.”

“Do you think that maybe we should go with them to prevent any, uh, deaths?” Sasuke asked, casually browsing the hot sauces. Sakura let out a kind of nervous laugh.

“Are you insane?” she asked, grinning in a rather alarming way.

“No, the last time I checked, I was the sanest of all of us,” Sasuke said.

“Well something has clearly pushed you off the deep end because only a crazy person would even contemplate interfering with Anko and the object of her wrath.”

“Well, excuse me, but I would like to have all my friends living,” Sasuke commented dryly. Sakura rolled her eyes. He stared at her.

“What?” she asked, looking a tiny bit weirded out. But she valiantly tried to ignore him. “Oh, my God! Fine! We’ll go with them! Yeesh.”

“Ok,” Sasuke said, smugly. “Sake is down this aisle. You might want to get the expensive stuff. It usually has high alcohol levels.”

Sakura looked at him for a second. “Good plan.”

 

 

Tenten was practically twisting Sakura’s arm off. Sasuke noted, with interest, that Neji had turned an odd shade of purplish green.

“Neji,” Sakura nudged him lightly. “Breathe.”

Neji nodded but Sasuke seriously doubted that he heard her. He was too busy looking like he wanted to commit suicide before Tenten’s psychotic mother killed him. Sakura reached her free hand out and rang the doorbell. Sasuke wasn’t sure if it was because everyone else flinched, but when footsteps were heard he felt shivers run down his spine.

The door swung open to reveal a tallish woman with her hair tied back in a messy bun. She was wearing a pair of black pants and a dark purple t-shirt with a tan jacket. Her boots were covered in mud. Overall, Sasuke thought, she looked pretty normal.

“So, this is the boyfriend then?” she said, giving Neji a slow once over. “He looks like a little pussy.”

Tenten rolled her eyes, Neji looked completely taken aback and Sakura dropped her face into her hands, shaking her head. Sasuke had the sense that their special news was not going to go over well.

“Ma,” Tenten ground out, “Hi.”

“Hey, Anko,” Sakura said, waving. Sasuke noticed that she kept her distance and sort of shifted so that Tenten was between her and the other woman.

“Who’s this loser?” Anko asked, nodding at him. Sasuke did his best not to look affronted or offended. Sakura had advised him that passive emotions were best.

“This is one of my roommates, Sasuke. Sasuke, this is Tenten’s…mom,” Sakura said. Sasuke raised his eyebrow at her, but nodded to Anko. She gave him an even slower once over before turning her attention back to the girls.

“These two don’t say much, do they? On the slow side, are they? Well, come in and remember to keep an eye on your boys,” Anko turned and disappeared into the house. “Bruiser doesn’t like men.”

‘Bruiser?” Sasuke looked at Sakura as they went inside.

“Her pet python,” Tenten said dryly. She reached over and patted Neji’s shoulder before disappearing down the hall.

“She has a pet python?” Neji said. He looked mildly horrified.

“Oh yeah, she keeps him around because he saved her from her ex-boyfriend, who turned out to be a woman beater. Ironically, the ex-boyfriend is the one who gave her the giant snake.”

Sakura shrugged and followed Tenten. She looked over her shoulder a grinned.

“Don’t look so nervous, guys. It’s just a massive, killer, man-eating snake.”

“Yeah, Hyuuga,” Sasuke said sarcastically. “It’s just a killer snake.”

“Speak for yourself, asshole,” Neji shot back, “Your balls aren’t on the line here.”

 

 

“So, Tenten,” Anko said, stroking the python she had draped across her shoulders. “To what do I owe this pleasure?”

“You look like an exotic dancer Ma,” Tenten said. “Can’t you put the snake away?”

“No,” Anko said, not missing a beat. “Answer the question.”

“Oh, here,” Sakura broke in. “We brought dango and sake!”

“Oh!” Anko lit up like a firework and seized the bag with the food and alcohol. “Hold that thought for just one minute, honey,” she said, standing up. She deposited the python back in its massive habitat and disappeared into the kitchen.

“Oh my god,” Tenten grabbed Neji’s arm. “She is going to kill us and feed us to the snake. Get me the hell out of here!”

“Tenten,” Sakura prised her off Neji and forced her back into her chair. “She is your mother. No matter what, she loves you and will support you. Especially if she’s drunk off her ass.”

“Right,” Tenten took a deep breath. “Okay, I can do this. Okay. Yeah”

 

 

“So, Tenten,” Anko said, smacking her lips. She set down her empty sake glass and stared directly at her daughter.

“Yeah?”

“What the hell is all this about?” Anko gestured at the food and alcohol.

“Ha ha, what do you mean?” Tenten paled noticeably.

“You brought food and sake to come visit me. You never visit me or give me food and alcohol. Tell me what this is all about before I get too drunk to remember. Or I will sic my snake on you.”

“Oh god, Ma, please don’t threaten me with the snake,” Tenten glared. Sakura caught Sasuke’s eye and dropped her face into her hands.

“Well then answer the question, and don’t even think about trying to distract me,” Anko said firmly.

“Fine, you want to know what I’m doing here? I’m here to tell you that I’m young, independent woman, in a committed relationship, who, in about eight months, is going to have a baby. With her boyfriend, whom you will not be feeding to your stupid snake.”

The silence that followed this little speech seemed to stretch for ages. Sakura looked up. Sasuke raised his eyebrows and glanced at Neji. Neji was sitting, completely still, waiting for something to happen. Tenten was glaring furiously at her mother.

“Ok,” Anko said. “Just as long as you don’t expect me to be a godmother or grandmother or anything,”

“What?” Neji said.

“I said, I don’t want to be saddled with any grandmotherly duties. So forget it. The kid is just going to have to get used to growing up without a grandmother.”

“You don’t want to know my baby at all?” Tenten asked. She looked like she was about to explode.

“No, I said I didn’t want to be a grandmother. I have no problem being an aunty,” Anko speared another dango and grinned at Neji and Tenten before viciously ripping it off the wooden skewer.

“Seriously?” Tenten said. She still looked incredulously enraged.

“Tenten, take it. It’s better than we could have ever hoped for,” Sakura hissed.

“Yes,” Neji said. “Let’s take it and _go_.”

 

 

Naruto hesitated in getting his keys out. He always felt extremely awkward when he came home these days. Sakura was barely speaking to him, but was still polite and Sasuke acted like he didn’t exist at all. That was mostly the reason he spent many nights at Hinata’s. He sighed and sorted through his keys. He may as well suck it up and go in for dinner.

"Sakura, Sasuke,” he called opening the door. “I’m back.”

Sakura’s hand appeared briefly, waving hello in a lazy sort of was from the direction of the couch. He assumed Sasuke was around somewhere. He tossed his bag into the bottom of the hall closet and kicked off his shoes.

“Hey, Sakura, Hinata wanted me to remind you that you’re helping her plan Tenten’s baby shower,” he said, walking into the living room. Sakura was lying on the couch with Sasuke, her feet propped up on his thighs. He was resting his head against her knees, staring blankly at the TV.

“Please do not invite Anko to the baby shower,” he said.

Naruto just stood there, staring at them for a minute. “Seriously, can you just start dating already?”

They both turned their heads and glared at him.

“Don’t give me that look. How can I not say that when you two are acting like you’re practically married? You may not like to hear it but Karin kind of had a point.”

“Fuck you,” Sasuke said. Naruto shrugged.

“Fine, whatever. Just call Hinata before she explodes from pressure.”

It wasn’t much, but at least Sasuke was speaking to him now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are nearing the end.


	22. Crazy for You

Sakura picked up the phone and stared at it for a long time. She was seriously considering calling Karin and Ino and having a talk with them. She was tired of being in a stalemate with two of her best friends.

“It’s not going to ring, even if you keep staring at it,” Sasuke said, casually walking through to the kitchen. He wasn’t wearing a shirt, just a pair of well fitting, low slung jeans. Sakura rolled her eyes up to the ceiling. She really wished he didn’t look so good all the time.

“I’m not waiting for it to ring,” she called after him. “I’m thinking.”

“About what?” he said. She heard him opening cupboards and the fridge. “Where the hell did the Dobe put the milk?”

“We’re out, it’s on the list,” Sakura said. “I’m thinking about whether or not I should talk to Karin and Ino.”

“We’re out of milk?” Sasuke reappeared, holding a box of cereal. “I can live without it,” he started eating the cereal dry, using his shoulder to hold up the kitchen door frame. “What are you expecting to happen when you call them?”

“I don’t know. We’d meet and talk and they’d apologize?”

“So call them,” Sasuke shrugged. He tipped his head back and dropped some cereal into his mouth.

“No,” Sakura tossed the phone across the couch. “If they want to be my friends they need to apologize first. And mean it.”

Sasuke picked up the phone and put the cereal down. Sakura watched as he dialled a number and put it up to his ear.

“Who are you calling?”

Sasuke held up one finger, smirking at her. She did not like where this was going. “Hi. What do you mean who is this? Then pay your phone bill and you’ll get your caller id back. no, I don’t really give a fuck about what you did at your job yesterday. I only have one thing to say to you so could you shut the fuck up and let me say it?” There was a long pause. “Thank you. Call Sakura and apologize to her.”

“What?” Sakura leapt off the couch and dove at Sasuke. He held the phone out of her reach and dodged her kept talking.

“You have three days to get a sincere apology ready and deliver it with Ino. Or I will let Sakura implement her plans to violently murder you both – ouch, get off me!” Sasuke hung up and tried to get Sakura off him. His roommate was currently sitting on the back of his knees, having dragged him to the floor.

“You know,” Sakura said. “I can easily adapt those violent murder plans to include three deaths instead of two.”

“Get off me! You’ll thank me later when you have your friends back,” Sasuke said. He twisted awkwardly trying to get onto his back so he could lift Sakura off him.

The result of his shifting and Sakura’s stubbornness was that he was still pinned to the floor and Sakura was now straddling his hips. Well. This wasn’t awkward at all.

Sakura was glaring down at him and he knew he should wipe the smirk off his face, but he just couldn’t help it. She was hilariously adorable.

“Don’t make me punch you in the face,” Sakura said. Before she could pull her fist back to reinforce the threat Sasuke grabbed her wrist.

“Okay, seriously?”

They both turned their heads and saw Naruto, standing halfway to the front door, staring at them. “I rest my case,” he snapped and stormed out of the apartment, slamming the door loudly behind him.

“Okay, well that’s used up my awkward situations quota for the day,” Sakura started to get up. Sasuke switched his grip from her wrist to her hips and pulled her back down.

“Why would this be awkward?” he asked. “It’s not like we haven’t done this before.”

He smirked as Sakura turned red and clamped her mouth shut. She turned her head away and seemed to be thinking. Then she whipped her head back around and fixed him with her fiery green glare.

“Fine, you want to go there, let’s go there.”

She then proceeded to grab him by the shoulders and kiss him senseless.

 

 

Karin was sitting on the Hyuuga’s sofa, in a prim and proper, very conservative black skirt and pressed white shirt, holding a hyperventilating Tenten’s hand, wondering how the hell she ended up there. She stared blankly down at her shoes, which were about four inches high and deadly.

“I still don’t get why I have to be here,” Suigetsu muttered. He looked extremely uncomfortable in his good jeans (basically without holes or fading) and a dress shirt with the top couple buttons undone.

“Because I am not going to go through this alone,” Karin hissed back. She patted the back of Tenten’s hand soothingly and crossed her ankles. “Where the hell are Neji and Hinata?” she asked.

“Well, Neji’s probably trying to avoid getting killed by Daddy and Hinata’s probably yelling at Daddy for trying to kill him,” Hanabi said. She walked into the large sitting room with Naruto. Both of them were holding food. She waited until the exact moment that Naruto took a bite of his apple before she asked him: “When are you going to tell Daddy that you and Hinata are getting married?”

Naruto choked violently. Suigetsu leapt up and whacked him of the back until he swallowed and started coughing.

“You’re an evil bitch, Hana,” he said, eyes watering. “I don’t know where you get it from but you are an evil bitch.”

“She gets it from Karin,” Tenten said. She wasn’t even looking at any of them, staring instead directly at the door that had closed behind Neji and Hinata ten minutes ago. “Seriously how long does it take to say ‘oh hey, just thought you might want to know that I knocked up my girlfriend and she doesn’t want to get married so we’re just going to stay the way we are’? How long does that take?”

“Breathe,” Karin instructed. Tenten was sounding a little bit on the hysterical side. She inhaled deeply and frequently at Karin’s command.

“Don’t worry,” Hanabi said. “Daddy probably is giving him a stern talking to and then he’s goning to spend the next eighty years trying to convince you both to get married. So all you have to do to avoid him is to move away and all your problems will be solved.”

“It’s nice that you find pleasure in other people’s pending disasters,” Naruto said. Hanabi grinned and floated to the couch across from Karin and Tenten.

“So, has Sakura forgiven you yet?” Naruto asked Karin, sitting down next too, but not too close too, Hanabi. Karin snorted.

“No, but Sasuke called me and basically ordered me to apologize. He sounded like he was running or something when he was talking though. He’s such a freak.”

“Oh, so that’s what that was about,” Naruto muttered and took another bite of his apple.

“That’s what what was about?” Karin whipped her head to look at him, momentarily forgetting her role as calming presence for Tenten.

“Oh, nothing. I just saw them ‘arguing’ about something when I was leaving, that’s all.”

“What’s with the air quotes? What are you, like five?” Suigetsu said, linking his fingers together behind his head.

“Well it sounded like they were arguing. There was shouting and angry voices and stuff but when I left, Sakura was actually sitting on Sasuke and it didn’t look like he was going to let her move anytime soon,” Naruto said. He bit off another chunk of apple and stretched as he chewed.

“What?” Tenten’s eyes left the door and fixed on Naruto. “Tell me exactly what happened. As the Baby Mama of this group I now hold infinite relationship wisdom. Spill it, blondie.”

So Naruto spilled it. Hanabi cackled.

“Oh this is so good. We need to do something to get them together!”

“No,” Karin said immediately. “We’re not doing anything. If they don’t want to see what’s right in front of them then that’s their choice. They can do whatever they want to.”

Hanabi looked like she was going to reply but then the door opened and Hinata appeared. She was alone. Tenten looked like she might strangle someone to relieve the tension.

“Father wants to talk to you,” she said to Tenten. Tenten didn’t move.

“Go,” Hanabi said. “You’ll be fine. And remember, you can always sic your mom on him.”

Tenten didn’t look comforted.

“Tennie,” Karin said softly, taking her hand again. She hadn’t used that nickname since grade school. “No matter what he says to you in there, remember not one of us is going to abandon you or leave you. None of us. Neji would follow you to the ends of the earth, so you don’t need his approval to have this kid; you just need to know that we’re all here for you.”

Tenten nodded once, rather stiffly, and stood up.

“Good luck,” Suigetsu said. Naruto got up and hugged her. Then Karin watched as Tenten disappeared behind the door with Hinata.

There was a long silence.

…

Hanabi popped a chip in her mouth, chewed loudly and swallowed.

…

…

“Oh she is so going to be killed,” said Hanabi, with a disturbing amount of morbid glee.

 

 

“Okay,” Sakura sat up, pulling the blanket off the couch and wrapping it around herself. Sasuke was pulling his boxers back up.

“Okay, what?” he asked. Sakura cleared her throat. It was a bit sore, which, when she thought about it, was hardly surprising.

“We need to stop doing this,” she said, gesturing at the general area around them.

“Stop doing what? Sex?” Sasuke leaned back against the couch. “Why would I want to stop having sex?”

“Well sex with me any way,” Sakura said. “This isn’t exactly and ideal or healthy situation we’re in here.”

“Who gives a damn about healthy or ideal? I like sex, and obviously you do to or we wouldn’t be doing this so why should we stop?” Sasuke, sometimes, was completely unreasonable.

“I’m not saying stop having sex!” Sakura got up and started hunting for something to wear. “I’m saying stop having sex with me. Honestly, don’t you listen?”

“What if I don’t want to?” Sasuke called as she started to forge through her room for something.

“What if you don’t what?” Sakura momentarily withdrew her head from the closet to listen. She heard Sasuke sigh and get up. He walked over to her door and leaned on the doorframe.

“What if I don’t want to stop,” Sasuke enunciated clearly. He rolled his eyes at Sakura’s blank look. “Having sex with you?” he finished.

“What?” Sakura stared at him.

“Oh come on! You know what I’m trying to say!” Sasuke glared. “Are you really going to make me spell it out?”

“Yeah,” Sakura grinned, wrapping the blanket tighter and abandoning her search through her closet. “I know, I know, I’m an evil bitch. I get it from Karin.”

“Not surprising,” Sasuke muttered. He took a deep breath to compose himself. His hands were shaking a little bit.

“Ok, here it goes. Sakura, I like you. A lot. And I don’t do this often, so it’s not surprising that I’m not great at it. But I have to agree with Naruto and Karin. We should be together.”

“Wow, that was the worst speech I’ve ever gotten from a guy,” Sakura laughed. “But, I liked it. So, Sasuke, do you want to go for dinner? I have to warn you, you’re paying.”

Sasuke rolled his eyes. “Yeah, I know. Just because I don’t ask my roommate out a lot doesn’t mean I haven’t been on dates before.”

Sakura laced her arms around his neck and stood up on tiptoe to whisper in his ear.

“I don’t know if you noticed, but I’m not wearing any underwear.”

She had to resist grinning as Sasuke’s entire body tensed up for a second. Then he was pushing her backwards until she hit the mattress on her bed.

 

 

Tenten was walking down the hall with Hinata, panicking. Not outwardly; outwardly she looked extremely calm. But on the inside she was ready to twist herself up in knots.

“Okay, so did he say what he wanted?” Tenten asked, trying to keep herself from screaming and running.

“No,” Hinata said softly, stopping outside the door of her father’s office. “He just told me to get you and to take Neji away when I come back.”

“Oh great. See this is why I liked being single. I didn’t have to deal with parents,” Tenten made a face. She had to physically take a step back when Hinata knocked on the door.

“Enter,” Hiashi boomed. Tenten gulped. Hinata opened the door and they went inside. “You may leave,” Hiashi said to Neji and Hinata.

Part of Tenten (all of her) wanted Neji to stay where he was and refuse to go anywhere, but she knew that he would never disobey the man who raised him. The door shut with an odd sort of finality and Tenten was standing in front of the second most formidable person she knew (the first being her mother) and she was alone.

“Please,” Hiashi said, unsmilingly. “Sit.”

Tenten sat.

“As you can imagine,” he began in his deadly soft voice, “I am not please with your situation at all. You know that this family has a very strict image to uphold in the public. If you are to marry my nephew several things will need to change. Firstly, you will no longer be teaching physical education in public schools. You will return to university and obtain a degree in mathematics or literature or one of the sciences. Secondly, you will reapply at any private schools in the area, or work as a tutor for other families of our own standing. Thirdly, you will move to the Hyuuga estate and settle in and learn our traditions.”

“I’m sorry?” Tenten said. Did this pompous windbag really think that she was that much of a push over? Uh, hello, she grew up with Anko, the Original Bad Bitch, as her mother.

“If something I said to you was unclear, please tell me so I may explain in further detail,” Hiashi said. His tone of voice had changed from soft and commanding to pleasant. And frankly it was fucking creepy.

“No, your meaning was quite clear,” Tenten said. “But let me make something clear to you. I am not one of your children nor am I your nephew. I do not owe you anything past common courtesy. So listen up. Don’t think for a second that I am just going to step aside and let you have your way because I am not that kind of woman. I have been independent of my mother since high school and I plan to continue being independent from everyone for the rest of my life. I don’t need someone planning my future and I don’t want someone planning my future, especially someone who doesn’t know me at all,” she paused for breath. “Now let’s get a few things straight here. One, I am not quitting my well-paying job to go back to school and get a degree in something I don’t even like. Two, I am keeping my apartment and I am not moving out of Neji’s. And finally, I will not marry your nephew unless I want to and not a day sooner. So don’t even think about trying to force that because it is not going to happen!”

“I must say I did not expect such unacceptable behavior from you,” Hiashi said.

“No, you know what’s unacceptable? You think you can control the lives of everyone around you, but you can’t. People are not little pieces on a chess board you get to move around for fun. We make our own decisions that affect our own lives without input from people who have no idea what our situation is.”

“So you would see him shunned by the family the? You don’t care that his entire future will be utterly decimated by your stubbornness?” Hiashi stood up. Tenten leapt to her feet as well.

“I don’t think that you can, in good conscience, ruin his future because his girlfriend is a stubborn bitch. For one thing, this isn’t even his fault and for another, wouldn’t ruining him violate the trust you two built when you became his father figure? He wants to marry me and do the right thing but I don’t know if he’s ready for that just yet and I know that I’m definitely not ready for it. He’s trying to do the right thing by me and by his family values but he can’t make everyone happy. And I may be biased, but I think I should be the one he’s trying to make happy because I’m the one he’s got to put up with for the next twenty years or so,” Tenten stopped talking, feeling like she had maybe gone a little bit over the top.

“So you would stand by him if he lost his position at the company and his inheritance because of this?” Hiashi asked. “You would stay with him no matter what?

“I didn’t start going out with him for his money. I started going out with him because I genuinely liked him. And now I genuinely love him so it’s a pretty safe bet that I’m not going anywhere,” Tenten kept her voice as steady as possible but she still felt her face going red as she admitted this to Hinata’s dad.

“All right then. I’ll see you two at the baby shower,” Hiashi sat down again and started looking around on his desk for something.

“What?” Tenten blinked.

“I’m satisfied with your answer,” Hiashi said, looking up. He had a slight smile on his face, which creeped Tenten out more. “I’ll see you at the baby shower. That’s all.”

Still utterly confused, Tenten turned to leave.

“Oh and Tenten?” Hiashi said. She stopped and turned around slowly. “Congratulations.” He nodded at her stomach and looked down at his desk again. Tenten left and somehow made it back to the other room.

Everyone gathered around her, patting her shoulders and asking if she was okay. Tenten searched through the tiny crowd for Neji. He looked utterly terrified and completely apprehensive.

“What did he say?’ he asked.

“Uh, he said a lot. I don’t really remember, but I think most of it was a joke. And he said congratulations. But I think he meant that part.”

“So he’s not going to commit a brutal double homicide then?” Hanabi asked. She sounded almost disappointed.

“No, we get to live another day. He did say he’d see us at the baby shower though. I’m not sure what that means.”

“It’s probably good,” Naruto put in. “Right guys?” No one answered. “Right?”

“Yeah, sure,” Suigetsu finally took pity on him. “It probably means rainbows and puppies.”

Karin snorted. “So you guys are in the clear for now then? Cool, let’s go get a drink. This was way too stressful.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually adore sassy Hanabi tho


	23. Sweet Vindication

Ino was sitting on one of the huge, comfy couches in the Hyuuga’s ‘recreational lodge’. It was really more like their spare mansion that they used like twice every four years. But it had great furniture and good food and most importantly, the couches were not in the garden, where the baby shower/garden party/social event was taking place. She wasn’t really doing anything, just sitting. She could also see everything important from her position directly across from the glass French doors that opened out onto the stone patio and back yard. She also had the benefit of an entire wall of floor to ceiling windows which enabled her to see everything and everyone.

Ino opened her beaded clutch and fished out her bright red lipstick and her compact mirror. She flipped it open and applied a fresh coat of ‘Scarlett Sunset’ to her lips. She put her cosmetics back and stretched her back out against the plush dove grey cushions.

“Having fun?” Tenten asked, coming to stand beside her. She looked a little bit grey.

“Whoa, girl,” Ino grabbed her wrist. “Sit down. You look dead on your feet.”

Tenten flopped onto the couch next to Ino and stretched her legs out. “God those people are insane,” she sighed. Ino saw Neji’s numerous relatives giving Anko a wide berth as she strutted around in a tight black t-shirt, a pair of tight black pants, stilettoes and a cream coloured blazer lined with leopard print.

“I think that they would disagree with you,” Ino said, watching Anko down two cups of sake in a row.

“Oh great,” Tenten threw her hands up. “Just because the alcohol is there doesn’t mean she has to drink it. I mean seriously, no one is going to want to drive my drunken mother home. Least of all me.”

“Yeah, well,” Ino shrugged. She couldn’t think of anything else to say so she watched the people milling around the yard.

Kiba was standing with his sister, talking to her in a low voice. Ino had forgiven him for lying to her about quitting smoking.

Suigetsu and Karin were making a spectacle of themselves as usual. Karin had herself wrapped around her boyfriend in a mildly pornographic manner. Apparently she had forgotten about Rina.

Neji was walking through the crowd aimlessly, occasionally stopping to formally accept congratulations from people. He came to a halt finally next to Hanabi’s boyfriend Konohamaru. They both looked extremely uncomfortable.

Hanabi herself was wafting amongst the guests, making sure every single one of them knew that Neji was being exceedingly progressive in his ‘non-marriage’, as she called it. She also recommended to some of the younger cousins that they should take a leaf out of his book and stop being such stuck up pompous windbags. People stopped talking to her after that.

Ino switched her gaze to Tenten for a moment when the other woman shifted on the couch and closed her eyes. Tenten probably had gotten very little sleep. The list of preparations for the shower was ridiculously long, even if most of it was taken care of by Hinata and Sakura.

She looked back out the window in time to see Hinata bury her face in her hands and sink down in a chair. Naruto put a comforting hand on her shoulder and leaned down to whisper in her ear. Hinata’s father stood nearby talking about something. Ino had no doubt he was the cause of Hinata’s embarrassment.

And then there was Sasuke and Sakura. Ino had noticed, in her people watching, that they were spending an awful lot of time together, apart from everyone else. Sakura put her hand on his arm a lot and Sasuke kept her hand somewhere in the vicinity of her waist. He would lean down to say something in her ear or she would stand up on her toes to whisper in his. Which is what she was doing right now. Then she gave him a quick kiss on the lips.

“What the actual fuck!”

Ino turned her head back to where Karin and Suigetsu were. Karin was standing, staring at Sasuke and Sakura, torn somewhere between astonishment and rage.

“Oh, here we go,” Tenten muttered. Ino nodded.

“What is this? What the fuck is this?” Karin stomped over to them. “You have the nerve to be mad at me? I was right, do you hear me? I WAS RIGHT!”

“Karin,” Sakura said quietly. “You’re making a scene.”

“I AM VINDICATED BITCHES!” she shouted at Sakura and her brother. “Vindicated!”

Then she swept through the French doors, past the couch and out the front doors of the ‘recreational lodge’.

“Haha, excuse us,” Suigetsu edged out of the garden under the eye of about thirty disapproving Hyuuga’s and booked it after Karin. Ino heard him swearing under his breath as he left.

“Well,” Tenten said.

“Yeah, and you thought this was going to be boring,” Ino leaned her head on Tenten’s shoulder.

 

 

Karin nearly tripped over the elaborate paving stones three times as she ran away from the house. She had to keep rubbing her hands across her eyes. She had probably ferociously smudged her mascara but she didn’t care. When she almost tripped the fourth time, because she had taken her glasses off, she stopped walking and just sank down in the middle of the path that lead off to some Zen pond or something.

“Hey, what are you doing sitting in the middle of the dirt? You’re gonna get your dress all dirty,” Suigetsu said, stepping up next to her. He gently reached out and pulled her to her feet. “Now, what’s the matter?” he asked, digging in his pocket for a handkerchief.

“I was right,” Karin wailed, burying her face in the silk fabric square. “I was right and they didn’t care.”

“I’m sure they didn’t mean to make you feel like that,” he said.

“Yes they did!” Karin sobbed. Suigetsu hesitated for a minute before reaching out and hugging her. She whacked him hard with her fist as she cried.

“Ouch, Karin,” he caught her wrists. “Stop that. You hit a lot harder than you think you do.”

“Ugh! You suck at this! Go away!” Karin shoved him away. Where the hell was cute, concerned boyfriend when she needed him?

“Look, Karin,” Suigetsu said, sighing. Either both you and Sakura can be immature about this and go on ignoring each other for the rest of your lives, or you can both suck it up and apologize.”

“Or I could just kill her.”

“Yeah, but then you’d go to jail. And I somehow doubt it would be fun,” Suigetsu put his hands in his pockets and rocked back on his heels. “Just go over to her place later tonight and say you’re sorry and if she has any sense then she’ll apologize too.”

Karin hit him and stomped off.

“Ouch! What? I’m trying to help!” he called after her. “Tch, women.”

 

 

“So,” Naruto glided up to Sasuke. “That was interesting.”

“If you say I told you so, Dobe, I swear to God,” Sasuke started to threaten. Naruto rolled his eyes.

“Oh please, Teme. Like you would even bother. Sakura would kill you,” Naruto scoffed. He crossed his arms across his chest. “Still, that’s not why I came over here.”

“Then why did you?” Sasuke asked shortly.

“Honestly, I’m a bit hurt you didn’t ask me for advice on the whole Sakura thing,” Naruto said.

“What?”

“Well I am your best friend,” Naruto shrugged. “You are allowed to talk to me once and a while you know. I’m not going to judge you.”

Sasuke stood there, staring at his friend, struggling to find something to say. Oddly, there was a tightness in his throat and the words wouldn’t come out properly. Naruto grinned and whacked him on the back.

“Well I’ll judge you when I kick your ass at Zombie Apocalypse 4 later tonight, but only then.”

“Tch, you could only beat me in your dreams, Dobe.” Sasuke snorted. And just like that, the beautiful friendship moment was over and they were back to normal.

 

 

Sakura turned the key in Karin’s door, and sighed when she couldn’t push the door open. She rolled her eyes and locked the door again. Then she went out, around to the back of Karin’s building and jumped up, grabbing onto the fire escape ladder. She climbed up and clambered along in her skirt and blouse, until she got to Karin’s window. She jimmied the shoddy lock on the window and dropped into the apartment.

“Karin, I came in through the window because you barricaded your front door,” she called. “Can we talk?” There was a long silence. “Fine, don’t act your age. You know, this is exactly the kind of bullshit from you and Ino that I am sick of.”

“Are you calling me immature?” Karin burst out of her room and stomped into the living room where Sakura was.

“Yes, actually. I am. Does that bother you?” Sakura asked scathingly.

“Get out of my apartment!” Karin shouted.

“I’m not going anywhere until you hear what I have to say!” Sakura shouted back. “Sit down and stop glaring at me. You’re not Medusa. I’m not going to turn to stone.”

Sakura stared Karin down until she sat.

“What?” Karin snarled.

“I know you feel like Sasuke and I just made you look like an idiot, and I know you probably feel like we somehow cheated you or something. But by involving yourself, unasked, into my private life, making a scene at Tenten’s baby shower and barricading yourself in your apartment like a five year old, you’re not exactly winning any sympathy points. And FYI, what I do with my life and when I do it.”

“Well I’m sorry that I decided to help my terminally single friend get a life,” Karin shot back. Sakura snorted. She was soooo not terminally single. She’d had boyfriends before…

…

….

Ok, so it was more like one other boyfriend in high school but still! That counted!

“And FYI,” Karin said snidely. “You should just stop being mad at Ino. You’re being a stubborn bitch. You know she’s not going to apologize.”

“Don’t even start with me about Ino, Karin! I’m here to deal with our issues. If Ino wants to talk to me she is going to have to pull her own ass into gear,” Sakura snarled. “Karin, you totally disrespected my privacy and I don’t appreciate it.” Sakura held up a hand to stop Karin from breaking in. “That being said,” she continued. “Because I’m now dating your brother, I feel like this whole fight is kind of pointless. Yes, okay, I did yell, a lot, but you know how I am when I’m mad. So I’m sorry for losing it and yelling at you. Twice. It was childish and dumb.”

Karin stared at her hands throughout this whole exchange.

“I’m sorry too. I should have backed off when you told me too. But it was so frustratingly obvious that you and Sasu-face had the hots for each other that I couldn’t not do anything about it! I mean, you’ve been single forever and Sasu-face hasn’t even had a serious girlfriend before; only one night stands. But I think those were mostly when he was in Oto for a few years. Anyway, I shouldn’t have pushed so much, even if it did help you guys out. Because it was a total invasion of privacy and I know how much you resent that kind of thing.”

“I forgive you,” Sakura said. “You dumb bitch.”

“Shut up, whore. I know you’re fucking my brother. It’s gross,” Karin made a face. “But I forgive you too.”

“Good, now can we please get a pizza? I’m starving!”Sakura flung herself down on the sofa next to Karin.

Karin, she thought during the comfortable silence, was really mature when she needed to be. Sakura found herself feeling quite proud of her friend.

“Hang on, what do you mean, one night stands?”

Karin grinned.

“Oh yeah, because of his inability to speak in public, Sasu-face learned how to seduce women with his buff body and good looks. Then he’d sleep with them. But I think he’s over that phase now. Mom’s breathing down his neck and he has a steady girl so he can’t get away with it anymore.”

“He’d better not be trying or there will be hell to pay,” Sakura said darkly. Karin liked to think she wasn’t joking. Because that would be fucking hilarious to see.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Karin wins the universe


	24. Chasing It Down Part 1

Far be it from him to tell her what to do, but this silent treatment thing was getting ridiculous. Kiba sighed and picked up the phone.

“Hello?” he said, clearing his throat. He already knew who it was because it had been the same person leaving messages all week.

“Hi Kiba. Has Ino decided to stop being a brat yet?” Sakura asked. She sounded very relaxed and calm today. Kiba shuddered and looked around the apartment. Ino wasn’t home.

“Uh, yeah, Sakura listen. I don’t know what it is that you’re trying to do here, but you know better than anyone that Ino is as stubborn as a pig. The only way you’re going to get to talk to her is if you hunt her down at work or something.”

“Oh, well,” Sakura sighed. “I can do that later. I’m at the spa with Hinata right now. I was just going to see if Ino wanted to apologize and join us, but I guess she’s busy. Anyway, thanks Kiba. Bye now!”

Kiba hung up, flinging himself back down on the sofa. He knew he should go to work but being caught in the middle of this ongoing battle between Sakura and Ino was extremely exhausting. He didn’t even get up when he heard Ino opening the front door and calling out that she was home. He just closed his eyes and wished, for the first time, that he had not taken Ino out on the most romantic first date in the history of first dates.

“Hey, didn’t you hear me?” Ino came into the living room and put her hands on her hips.

“Yeah,” Kiba said. “I heard you.”

“Then why didn’t you say anything?” Ino asked, sitting on the coffee table.

“I was thinking,” Kiba responded. “I was thinking about how Sakura is going to keep calling here, trying to get under your skin if you don’t go talk to her. I was thinking about how everyone is getting sick of this argument. I was thinking that maybe you two are being just a little bit petty now.”

“What? We are not being petty!”

“Really? Because Sakura just called here to say that if you apologized then she would invite you to the spa with her and Hinata,” Kiba sat up and glared at his girlfriend.

“She went to the spa with Hinata! That little – she knows that the spa is our thing! I introduced her to the spa! Fine, then I guess I’ll call Tenten and go to laser tag with her or something. She only does that with Sakura.”

“See, there you go. You’re both doing this ridiculous thing where you’re constantly trying to one up the other! I’m getting tired of being caught in the middle of this. I like Sakura, she’s a nice person and I love you but I am not taking sides anymore Ino! You have to fix this. I’m serious.”

“Don’t tell me what to do! Okay, you have no idea what’s going on with us. So don’t talk to me like I’m a child,” Ino snapped. She stood up and started stomping away.

“I know you kicked her out of this apartment so that I could move in with you. I know that every time I see her I feel guilty. I know that this is the first time she’s ever stopped talking to you and I also know that it’s about time this feud ended. You two aren’t going to magically forgive each other. You have to be the one to make the first move because she’s too angry with you to do it. If you value her as a friend then you’re going to do it Ino. And don’t even think about trying to make me feel guilty about this discussion, because you know as well as I do that I’m right.”

Kiba got up off the couch, grabbed his jacket and his key and headed for the front door. “I’ll be back later.” He tried not to slam the door behind him.

 

 

It was official. Sakura hated her job. Not her actual job as a doctor. She actually loved that job more than anything. She hated her job as friend right now because Hinata was currently hyperventilating on the massage table next to her. Hinata was hyperventilating because Hanabi had mentioned to their father that she thought that Naruto might propose. And now Hinata was avoiding her entire family like the plague because she didn’t want to deal with her father’s ridiculously high expectations.

“Hinata,” Sakura said sharply. “Seriously, just calm down. We’re in a spa, the most relaxing atmosphere that was ever created by man. The only way we could possibly be more relaxed is if we went to a natural hot spring in the middle of nowhere on the mountains. You father is not going to make you get married so there is no need to wig out!”

In truth however she knew how Hinata felt. Every time she went with Sasuke to his mom’s for dinner she felt the threat of an impending marriage looming over her. She wasn’t quite sure she was ready for that step yet. And even if she was, Sasuke definitely was not. It took almost a year of living down the hall from him for him to ask her on a date; a proposal was completely out of the question.

Sakura shuddered and sat up, pulling the towel up with her. She wrapped herself up and headed to the shower area. The more she thought about everything that had happened in that past year the more she thought she might be a little bit of a wrecking ball. It seemed like everything she did (involving her rapidly deteriorating relationship with Ino in any case) turned out to be a total and complete disaster. She sighed as she left Hinata at the massage tables to fret over her own problems and dropped her towel on the floor. She stepped under the steady stream of hot water and tried to forget her problems that way.

_Maybe Naruto and Sasuke are right. Maybe I am being petty…but I spent so many years having Ino’s back and looking after her. How would they know petty? Ino is the definition of petty. She still doesn’t talk to Shikamaru because he broke up with her before she could dump him. And that was like, pre-pre-Kiba. Maybe all that stuff about forgiving and forgetting is bullshit. I mean who really does that?_

Of course she knew who did that. She did that. For eighteen years she was the one who was forgiving Ino and forgetting the mistakes she made and the messes too. She wasn’t the wrecking ball…Ino was the wrecking ball. And she – they were both being impossibly petty. It was time for this to come to an end for once and for all. Ino was going to have to face up to her mistakes on her own for once.

 

 

Ino knocked on her dad’s door for the first time in years. She shifted nervously back and forth on her feet. She had never introduced Kiba to her dad for a very good reason. Inoichi Yamanaka was a terrifyingly formidable man, even in retirement. The door opened. Oh God.

“Hi Daddy! Long time, eh?” Ino said brightly. She was glad to see her dad, and was hoping her enthusiasm would distract him from her obvious discomfort.

“Ino, what’s wrong?” Inoichi asked immediately.

“Oh nothing,” Ino said. “Can I come in?”

“Of course,” her father let her in and sat her down at the table in the kitchen. Then he made some tea. In the three minutes and twenty-six seconds that it took for the water to boil neither of them said a word. “So,” he sat across from her and set a mug down in front of her. “What’s this I hear about you being in a fight with Sakura?”

“I beg your pardon?” Ino blinked.

“Your new gentleman friend, Kiba, stopped by a few weeks ago. He’s very worried about you, you know.”

“What? So what if he’s worried! He went behind my back to meet you and tell you my problems?” Ino exploded. Her father put his hand on her arm and she sat back down again.

“Drink your tea,” he said. Ino obeyed him, focusing her glare on the table. “Now, I want you to understand something, honey. I want you to understand that even though I am your father I will not sugar coat my words. You and Sakura are handling this badly and I expected better of you two. After eighteen years of friendship, one does not simply give up. So after you finish your tea you are going to go out to your car and drive to Sakura’s. And then you are going to sort this out. You two are much too close to fall apart now.”

“Yeah, I know,” Ino mumbled. “I’m mad at Kiba now too.”

“Don’t be. He just wanted me to know that he wasn’t going to break your heart. He said that he would have waited to be introduced by you but that didn’t seem to be happening so he had to take matters into his own hands.”

“Yeah, but Daddy!”

“Were you ever going to introduce us?” Inoichi asked.

“Yes!” Ino said indignantly. “Eventually.”

“He was just trying to see if I had any advice for situations like this. He just wants you to be happy. So forgive him and figure things out with Sakura. Things will only work out if you try to work them out.”

 

 

Sakura was knocking on Ino’s door loudly. She had been doing so for the past ten minutes. Finally she gave up and sat on the floor. She pulled out her cell phone and dialled Sasuke.

 _“Hello?”_ he answered. He sounded a bit fuzzy.

“Sorry, were you sleeping?”

 _“No,”_ he lied. Sakura always knew when he was lying. _“What’s up?”_

“Eh, I’m at Ino’s place. I can’t find her. I was going to try talking to her instead of shouting at her.”

 _“Oh, well maybe – hang on there’s someone at the door,”_ Sasuke said. Sakura could hear him getting out of bed and walking down the hall. He sighed and opened the door. _“Oh, hey Ino.”_

“What? INO?” Sakura shouted.

 _“Ouch!”_ Sasuke fumbled around with the phone, almost dropping it. _“Yes, Ino is standing on our doorstep. What do you want me to do about it?”_

“We don’t have a doorstep, honey. We live in an apartment,” Sakura pointed out. “Um I don’t know!”

 _“How about this. I’ll give Ino some tea or something and you come back here,”_ Sasuke suggested.

“Well…”

 _“Great, that’s the plan then. See you in a few minutes.”_ Sasuke hung up the phone before she had a chance to protest.

Sakura sighed and stood up. She shuffled her feet all the way to the elevator and all the way to her car. She hated driving, especially when she was dreading arriving at the place she was heading to. But she had no choice, so she stuck the key in the ignition and started the engine.

 

 

If she thought the car ride was long, the elevator ride up to the fourth floor was even worse. Sakura thought she might pass out or that Ino might screw it up even more before she got what she wanted to say out. Or what if she screwed it up even more?

The elevator doors opened and she walked slowly down the hall.

Oh God, oh God, she couldn’t do this!

She was halfway back to the elevator, already reaching for the call button when…

“Sakura! You’re home!” Naruto came bursting out of the stairwell.

“Yes, I am,” she said.

“You have to come upstairs and take Ino away. It’s getting really weird up there.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well Sasuke made her tea and then she was all like ‘I don’t want tea. I just had tea at my dad’s’ and then Sasuke was like ‘Well why didn’t you say anything before I made it?’ and she was all like ‘Shouldn’t you ask someone if they want tea before you make it?’ and then I had to leave because they started shouting at each other about tea,” Naruto said in a rush as they climbed into the elevator. “Like I said: it’s gotten weird up there.”

“Yeah, that is weird. I’ve never seen Sasuke even look at the tea before and now all of a sudden he’s having an intense argument with Ino about it?” Sakura pushed the 4 button and the doors slid shut. “We’d better hurry before they start arguing about the finer points of brewed espresso.”

“Yeah that would be – oh, ha ha. Very funny Sakura. I don’t appreciate your sarcasm.”

“Well, you were kind of walking into that one. Seriously, I argue with you guys about the dumbest stuff ever,” Sakura said, digging around for her keys.

“Hey, Zombie Apocalypse 4 is not dumb! It’s a harrowing adventure through a post-apocalyptic world where you have to fight, tooth and nail to survive,” Naruto protested.

“Yeah, see, dumb stuff. You’re a full grown man, sweetie. Don’t you think that video games are just a little bit juvenile?”

“No,” Naruto said stubbornly. “Good luck with Ino, by the way. It sounds like Sasuke got her all warmed up for your pending shouting match.”

“We aren’t going to have a shouting match,” Sakura said. “We’re going to sit down and talk this out. After I kick you two out of the apartment for an hour or so.”

“What! Why do we have to leave?” Naruto whined. Sakura paused with her keys in hand.

“Because,” she said like it was obvious. “I can’t reconcile with people looking over my shoulder. You guys are going to cramp my style.”

She opened the door and flung it open. “Sasuke! Out!”

“What? Why?”

“Now!”

She pointed him to the door and slammed it behind him.

“Dude,” she heard Sasuke say to Naruto. “What the fuck? We live there too.”

“She can’t reconcile with people looking over her shoulder, or so she says.”

Sakura wrenched the door open. “Go wait outside,” she glared.

“We are outside,” Sasuke said.

“Outside the building!” Sakura shouted. She slammed the door again.

“Uh, do you want me to go?” Ino asked from behind her.

Sakura turned around slowly. Ok, it was time to grow some balls and get this the hell over with.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Almost done here.


	25. Chasing It Down Part 2

“Uh, do you want me to go?” Ino asked from behind her.

Sakura turned around slowly. Ok. It was time to grow some balls and get this the hell over with.

“No, I need to talk to you,” Sakura said. “About the past few months and what we’ve been doing." 

“Before you say anything,” Ino interrupted. “I have something to say. I just want to say that I can’t believe that you went to the spa with Hinata. You know that’s our thing!” 

Sakura was about to respond when Karin burst it, shoving both Sasuke and Naruto off her. She was with Suigetsu and they both looked very excited.

“Oh my God, guess what just happened!” she shrieked, oblivious to the tension in the room. “Oh, you never will so I’ll tell you!” She grabbed Suigetsu hand, grinning like a madwoman. “We’re getting married!”

“WHAT?” Sasuke shouted. In the general chaos that followed he tried to pry his sister and his friend apart.

Ino and Sakura turned to each other and said at the same time: “Karin’s getting married? Before us?”

“My world is all askew,” Sakura said faintly.

“Up is down,” Ino nodded. “Black is white.”

“I need to sit,” Sakura said. They both sat.

“This is so weird. Karin and Suigetsu are getting hitched. Who knew?” Ino said.

“So, so very weird,” Sakura agreed.

“Sasuke does not look happy,” Ino pointed out.

“No. no he does not.”

“So where does this leave us?” Ino asked after a moment.

“Well obviously you’re going to be the maid-of-honour and I’m going to be the best man,” Sakura said.

“Wouldn’t that make Sasuke a bridesmaid?” Ino asked.

“Yeah, but you know what? He’s got the hips for formal wear.”

 Ino snorted. Sakura whacked her on the arm.

“Shh, don’t let him hear you!” she whispered.

“Oh, what’s he going to do? Kill me?” Ino rolled her eyes.

“I think we’re too old for the silent treatment,” Sakura said after a pause.

“Yeah,” Ino nodded. “I think the last time we pulled one of these was on Shikamaru after he dumped me for Temari in the eleventh grade.”

“Ah ha ha, I remember that. God, we were stupid kids, weren’t we?” Sakura laughed.

“Yeah,” Ino sighed, “God, we are was too old for this.”

“Seriously,” Sakura agreed. “And we can’t have a cat fight at Karin’s wedding. She’d kill us.” 

“Remember that bookshelf we built my dad for his birthday? Yeah, Karin in no joke with a saw,” Ino said.

“Shit,” Sakura said, looking back at Karin. She was dancing around the room with Naruto, grinning madly. Suigetsu was saying something to Sasuke and edging away, lest Sasuke decided to decapitate him.

“I think we need to salvage the situation before your boyfriend kills someone. You call her mom and I’ll call everyone else?” Ino suggested.

“Already on it,” Sakura held up her cell phone and grinned.

 

 

Sakura was pretty sure that Hinata was happy to move in with Naruto. She wasn’t exactly bouncing off the walls, but she was grinning and for Hinata that was practically the blissful. Sakura shoved her last box into the center of the living room and looked around. She and Sasuke had moved out a month before Karin’s wedding and found their own place. There was only one bedroom and the kitchen and bathroom were twice as big as her last two places combined. She was pretty sure heaven was something like this. 

“Where are we going to put all this stuff?” she said. Sasuke walked over to her and put his hands on her hips.

“Well, there is a storage warehouse a few blocks away,” he said.

“A storage warehouse? Uh, yeah, so when I need my hair dryer I’ll just hope in the car and go dig it out of the dusty confines? No thanks.” 

“Or you could help me build the furniture that we ordered. It’s being delivered today.” 

“I would love to help you, but I made an appointment with Ino and Karin to go dress shopping. The bride must have someone there who doesn’t dress like a hooker on a regular basis,” Sakura said.

“You looked pretty sexy last week in that outfit,” Sasuke said. She thought it sounded like he was protesting her regular clothes.

“Oh, so you want your sister to walk down the aisle, on your father’s arm, wearing a mini-dress that will probable expose her special place to everyone in the church?” Sakura asked.

“You’re right. You should go,” Sasuke relented. Sakura kissed him quickly before she whirled off into the maze of boxes, looking for a nicer pair of shoes. 

“I shouldn’t be out too late. I’ll call you when I start to head home, okay?”

“Yeah, okay. Don’t have too much fun without me,” Sasuke said, following her to the door.

“Did you just make a joke?” Sakura raised her eyebrow. “Watch yourself. Your careful façade of disinterestedness is slipping. 

“Get out,” Sasuke said, shoving her lightly. He pulled her back to him a second later to kiss her before she wiggled out of his grasp and vanished down the hall of their new apartment building.

 

 

“K, relax, take some deep breaths. Think about something serene, like the ocean!” Ino said. She was sitting in the bridal store with Karin and they were both seriously stressing out. Where the hell was Sakura? There was no way Karin was going to get through this without her calming presence.

“Hey, hey, sorry. There was a huge accident on 4th and I had to detour past the cemetery.” Sakura came rushing through the door. Karin and Ino both leapt up and hugged her.

“Where have you been? This crazy one has been getting me to visualize the ocean!” Karin shouted.

“Shh,” Sakura said, waving them both away. “The ocean is generally something you visualize when you need to calm down. Both of you can relax. Mikoto called to say she was going to be a few minutes late and that we should start without her. So let’s get a shop girl over here and see what we can find, ok?”

Karin flounced off to find someone who worked in the boutique store and Ino looped her arm through Sakura’s.

“Thank God you got here when you did. I think Karin was ready to piss herself. I wasn’t sure how much longer I could have held down the fort.”

“You were doing just fine,” Sakura said. “Oh, this is pretty,” she paused at a mannequin.

“Wow, yeah it’s gorgeous. But I don’t really think it’s Karin’s style. Too classic. She’s more of a bombshell,” Ino said. They stood a few minutes longer looking at the long white dress. “Come on, before Karin realizes we’re not shopping for her.”

“So we’re looking for something trashy then?” Sakura asked.

“Oh ha ha. Very funny Sak. When you marry my brother don’t expect me to help you find the perfect dress,” Karin called back to her.

“I wouldn’t dream of it,” Sakura replied, grinning at Ino.

 

 

“So we were thinking that we should do this thing with sprays of white flowers where they kind of drape along the aisle,” Tenten shoved the picture of flower arrangements across the table. “What do you think?”

“Maybe you should consider the fact that people have to sit there,” Neji said.

“Ugh, whatever. Ino’s supposed to be doing this. Flowers are her deal, not mine. And where the hell is Hinata? She’s supposed to go with me to look at cakes and stuff.”

“I can’t believe they’re having a wedding in a church. Of all places.”

“Yeah, that’s a little…is ironic the right word for this?” Tenten asked, checking her watch.

“I was going to go with ridiculous, actually,” Neji said. “Hinata should be her by now, unless that blond idiot is driving her.”

“Awwe, Naruto is a sweetheart. He can be a bit stupid sometimes, but he’s a good guy overall. Relax a bit, okay? You’re probably freaking them both out.” 

Tenten got up when the doorbell rang and stretched her arms.

“I’ll be back later. Mwah!”

 

 

“So we’re looking for bridesmaid dresses today,” Sakura said. She was walking with Hinata down the street, at eight o’clock at night, towards yet another bridal store. “If I look like I might kill someone, remind me that this is Karin’s wedding and everything has to be happy, ok?”

“Ok, but, out of curiosity, why would you want to kill someone?” Hinata asked, propping the door open with her foot.

“Ugh, Sasuke and I have been living in our own place for a week now and neither of us have found the time to put the goddamn bed together yet. If I have to sleep on Ino’s couch one more night I might have to kill myself.”

“Why can’t you and Sasuke stay at his parent’s giant house again?” Hinata asked.

“Because Karin and Suigetsu are staying there while they move in together and Sasuke flatly refused to be in the same house as either of them,” Sakura shrugged. “I’m inclined to think that that is a good idea. I don’t think he should be around either of them right now. He’s still fuming.”

“I don’t understand how he can be so angry about this. I mean, Karin’s happy, isn’t she?” Hinata said.

“Yeah, I don’t really get it either,” Sakura said. “But then again, since it’s Sasuke, I kind of stopped trying to get it.”

“These dresses better not make me look fat, Karin.”

“Ah, Tenten’s here,” Hinata said.

“Tenten, darling, you look fantastic,” Karin said reassuringly. “I like the empire waist actually. It looks nice.”

“Really?” Sakura asked. “I thought you would have liked the tight flashy one.”

“Just because I dress like that on a regular basis does not mean that my wedding is going to lack style,” Karin said primly.

“Ha ha, okay, sure,” Sakura mumbled, checking her phone. “I wonder how the boys are making out with their tuxes? 

“It’s probably a nightmare,” Tenten said, sagely. “Can you imagine anything productive getting done with those dumbasses spearheading things?”

“Itachi said he was going to help,” Karin said. “And it occurs to me that we are very mean about our men.”

“Yeah, but we know how to make up for it later,” Sakura smirked. 

“Eww, keep it in your pants, Sak!” Ino squealed. Sakura laughed.

“Let’s see the next dress, you little vixens!” Karin said, tossing a confection of silk at the bridesmaids. “I have final veto on EVERYTHING!”

“We’re all doomed,” Hinata said solemnly.

“Yup,” Sakura nodded.

 

 

Sakura almost fell asleep in the elevator, only coming out of her three-second doze when she nearly keeled over onto the floor. She unlocked the door to her apartment, rubbing her eyes. Maybe Sasuke got home before she did at built the bed…if she was lucky.

Sakura rounded the corner to the bedroom and stopped short in the doorway. She burst out laughing, leaning against the doorframe in order to stay upright.

Sasuke was sitting in the middle of the floor, amongst piles of cardboard, packing materials and what was, apparently, the disassembled bedframe.

“What is this?” she asked, when she got herself under control. 

“The bed,” Sasuke said shortly. He was clearly extremely frustrated. “This is the only thing that was in the box. There were no building instructions or anything.”

He thrust a single sheet of paper at her and made a ort of growling noise in his throat when she started laughing again.

“Oh, Sasuke, relax. We can just call in the morning and get the furniture company to email us a copy of the instructions so that we can build it. At least we have a mattress. And that is plenty. I don’t think I could have lasted another night on Ino’s couch.”

Sakura tossed her purse into a corner and kicked her shoes off. She tiptoed through the wreckage and flopped down on the mattress next to Sasuke.

“Now come here and hug me,” Sakura said. “I spent all evening trying on dresses and I’m tired.”

“How tired?” Sasuke asked. Sakura raised her eyebrows at the look he was giving her.

“Hmm,” she pretended to think. “I don’t know. Why don’t we find out?”

And by the door, lying forgotten (for the moment) on the floor, was a single sheet of paper with three words printed on it.

 

**_SOME ASSEMBLY REQUIRED._ **

**_THE END._ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, the final chapter. My humble addition to the frighteningly large and, frankly scary, Naruto fandom.

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to leave comments, even though I'm just uploading the entire, completed story. I wrote this before Karin's origins were revealed in the manga, so that is why her family is who they are. Also, it is an AU and canon divergent, so...yeah. Idk what to say about that since it seems pretty obvious.
> 
> Fun Fact: I wrote the first chapter on the plane to Hawaii right before I started the 12th grade. 
> 
> In case anyone was interested in that.


End file.
